Listening to this right now

What the fuck, how did this trash get a movie deal

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Nostalgiafags

>listening to audiobooks
Only acceptable if you're blind and/or illiterate. Read a book, nigger.

I listen to audiobooks while.......... I drive

Is this a children's book? I've just assumed it is and ignored it totally. I hadn't heard of it until the film and I somewhat follow books. I'm not super into them, but read at least one a fortnight and know more than your average layman.

Just wait until they start listing high scores. You’ll want to drive your car under a semi.

I'd usually agree with you but Wil Wheaton's nasal whinging really adds that special something to this text

I read this because a girl I liked was reading it and she asked me if I knew about it. It was fucking dog shit, I think the worst novel I have ever finished.

reminder that the writer of this book has the shittiest prose in the world and the bulk of the text consists of:
>"AND THEN HE GOT INTO HIS X-WING STARFIGHTER FROM THE STAR WARS FILM SERIES AND I GOT INTO MY SPECIAL JOSS WHEDON CLASS FIREFLY NAZI SS VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE AND WE FLEW THROUGH UNICRON'S ASSHOLE AND MOLESTED HE-MAN

Delete this, the FBI are aware of how ignorant you are.

What is this absolute dreck?
>And, of course, Kevin Smith.
My personal favourite. But again, what is this?

I sometimes think the audiences are utterly braindead. Oddly enough, ones that have slightly mixed reviews tend to be better, since it means they have an audience that doesn't automatically gargle shit.
After I got rused by free the darkness getting rave reviews, I absolutely refuse to get any audiobook that I haven't checked with a source I trust.

Dear god that book was shit. Male twilight may be a meme, but it sums that one up perfectly.

Pretty accurate reconstruction

Just pages and excerpts from the bestselling novel Ready Player One by Ernest Cline, about to be adapted into a $200 million Spielberg feature

It's an actual, unedited page from the book. Not even kidding, I read the entire fucking thing and 99% of the pages are like this.

what kind of manchild wrote this?

It's not even the author's worst work. Look and despair

ernestcline.com/spokenword/npa.htm

I got my literature degree by listening to every book I was supposed to read

It's just a list of pop culture references though, and "name dropping" things that simply can't be name dropped because literally everyone knows them.

Him next to the one that wrote Game of Thrones in the Delorean

>insults women for the way they look
>insults them for their "art"
>when this is your "art"
>paragraph about how he wants to rape the valedictorian
Jesus christ almighty.

I SAW THING, I CLAPPED is the highest form of art

I couldn't find the text online, and there's no way I'm actually paying for this

Reads like literal fanfiction.

Like everything, some have been rightfully critical about it, but the Leddit circle jerk was too strong.

But now it'll be 'cool' for them to dislike, since 'normies' like it and can't grasp their enlightened fedorahood.


That being said, it'll be an entertaining movie. In terms of CG and scifi making $ so they'll keep making big screen scifi.

I get burned out reading sometimes and want something easier to digest but this really isn't. This is the same as King, it's not enjoyable to read. At least when a well written book is a little dull it's still well written and it's actually nice to absorb the words and learn from it.

This has literally zero value.

Him and Rothfuss getting famous make me want to kill myself

And I thought the Neuromancer's use of real life brand names at the time was confusing...

>not going for a Zaku
Wew not only is he just namedropping shit he also has awful fucking taste

Nerd culture is a barren wasteland and this book is a prime example. Avoid at all costs.

It's going to flop. Only Redditors will go to watch.

>implying listening to Wesley read one of the worst books of all time isn't the greatest toll of all

Gayest thing I've read all year.

I bet it kills this guy to know Bobbi Starr's four favorite things are Morrowind, Zork, Grim Fandango and massive black cocks

Young adult at least. Or edgy redditer.
Look up the authors poem called tfw too intelligent for porn.

I thought BG2 was her favourite game?
Nonetheless it's funny that she has far more credibility on nerd shit than he does.

It's right here

I tried reading it before the movie was announced.
Don't understand why this shit gets such high reviews, I closed as soon as the book started to fall into the cliche tropes by the time the kid goes to school and meets that progamur gurl.

>That spoiler
I thought you were going to say you did something actually impressive with audio books.

I assume it originally raised enough red flags for everyone else that they steered clear of it, so the reviews are skewed.
Unfortunately, that means it can now fool people who would normally smell the Bazinga from a mile away.

Gave it a read thinking if Spielbergs making a big deal out of it it must be good. Gave up halfway. It's not even the "nerd culture" shit that put me off, the writing style's just off-putting. And that's ignoring the endless lists of references.

>It's an Art3mis scene

Anything about the romance plot is fucking unreadable, even worse than the pages on Reddit and Rick and Morty

I always see the same extracts being posted.
Is this another case of "/lit/ cherrypicking a popular book to make it look awful" like with GRRM?

She's based on the author's wife

They were best friends for 20 years before they got married :)

The whole thing is like the extracts.

...

Fuckin rough
>You have to spend your whole life with a tryhard nerd wife writing a tryhard book.
>You have to include her in your book or else she won't give you any more food or attn.
>rinse and repeat for 20 years.
No fuckin thanks

Obviously the authors wife. Fuck no thanks

Nice reading comprehension

I'm not going to lie I'd fuck her shithole.
I'm not proud of myself.

I just went ahead, flipped to a random page and screencapped it. No cherry picking, resolved I was going to post whatever popped up.

Wow such a nice guy

>being illiterate is acceptable

And again

>Numale complaining that porn only features airheaded bimbos rather than girls who share his interests
>Wanting Chad-kun to fuck girls you might see as potential gf material on camera for millions to see just so you can be intellectually stimulated (?) while you jerk off rather than just airhead Stacy
>You can't enjoy jerking off unless the actors in the film are "working on their PhD" and "have 4.0 GPAs," because the overlap between people who want to fuck on camera for millions to see and people actually doing shit with there lives is going to be huge

What the fuck man

This book is fucking horrendous,
Why is this getting a film??
and Spielberg himself backing this movie up?
We know it can't be vanity because he already said he's not using any character he made in this film

This. It's called a commute.

Unemployed or works at the local walmart that's only 5 minutes away by bus.

While Rothfuss is one of the worst i can see why people like his power fantasy video game shit.

>Rothfuss
LITERAL KEK MC

the parts with the massive walls of de-contextualized and fetishized pop culture detritus are oddly reminiscent of american psycho

Even if it was cherry picking, this would be terrible.
The only excuse I can think of is something similar to Dresden files, which has the MC use increasingly dated references to display how he's becoming more and more disconnected from every day life, but I'm guessing this is being played straight

The worst part is porn is already full of pseudointellectuals. Sasha Grey, Stoya, Asa Akira, Belle Knox.

I can't think of any pornstar who actually plays up how dumb she is anymore, that's like a 1970s cliche

You could listen to The Land for that. Rothfuss's writing isn't terrible honestly. It's not good, it's just not terrible like Ready Player One. His characters on the other hand and their thought processes are however so off the mark it ruins everything for me. I can't even listen to it while driving.

And I have listened to literal trash (Suphero Sale, etc.) So I know what I am talking about.

its snow crash for this ADD generation

>he literally waifus a whore
>and gets friend zoned

sounds like someone trying to forcefully cum on the pages, but there's nothing coming out so his dick gets sore and he rubs it harder and harder until blood starts ejaculating and he calls it art

Captain autism made the VR world. Makes a scavenger hunt that only super autismos can complete. They get to take over the VR world if they complete it.

...

Worry not he now knows the thousands palms blossom technique.

>credibility
>When you People heard that baldurs gate/morrowind are her favorite game

You dumbfucks believe in everything Holy fuck

So like those endless number of korean mmorpg shortnovels/manhwa

Easy there, Earnest

>clip

>Baldur's Gate 2 is my favorite game!

>listening to it
>god isn't real Morty
>heaven doesn't exist Morty
what was the point of this part?

That's exactly what it reminds me of. But without all the irony

NOSTALGIA
REFERENCES
NOSTALGIA
REFERENCES
NOSTALGIA
REFERENCES

everything about this book is reddit

It's okay, user. We are all degenerates deep down inside.

The one benefit of the movie will be that people can point to it as the earthly avatar of Reddit.

This is terrible.

>Normal porn is lame, so they should make porn with girls who got good grades in school and like the same shit I do and would also fuck me in my revisionist high school fantasies (?)
Is this satire? Would it really make porn better if instead of using normal sluts, they specifically went out and ruined the reputations of girls who seemingly actually want to do something with their lives?

You forgot the big red button, user.
But yeah, this is the main story.

Now I want to write a parody/hyperbole of this shit, with literally 75% of the text being pop culture references.

>And then he went full Oldboy hallway scene until everyone in the room was like Han Solo - dead.

Let's write this shit Sup Forums, we'll call it something like Fight Epic or something.

>call it something like Fight Epic or something.
To be continued........

I'm interested.
It could be sold as an important voice in the discussion on autism.

>I was an expert on the 80s
>proceeds to list a bunch of shit from the 60s and 90s
???

...

>The next ten minutes played out like the climax of a John Woo movie
One of the one staring Chow Yun Fat, like Hard Boiled or The Killer
This is actually worse than the cherry picked bits

>Reddit presents: American Psycho

Ready, Gayer One?

I think that demonstrates the worst way you can use a reference. It just grinds your immersion to a halt and follows or precedes dreadful descriptions that hope the reference will fill in the blanks.
A good author using a reference will generally make sure the description or joke will work perfectly well if you don't get the reference, but will be enhanced if you do.

youtube.com/watch?v=S5-t8WSQafM

>My bullet bill this month was going to be huge like the one at the start of Super Mario World, a popular Super Nintendo Entertainment System game

>You could tell this was a sordid club because in the corner two girls were using a double-sided dildo anally like Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream while a guy yelled "ASS TO ASS" at them like Stanley Herman's character in Requiem for a Dream

>Somebody who looked like Jared Leto from 30 Seconds to Mars but also Requiem for a Dream has been doing a heroin like in Requiem for a Dream.
>- Where's Aronofsky? - I chuckled to myself

Can you imagine that people read this dogshit, thought it was good enough to make a fucking movie about it

The one you're quoting is fake, dipshit

>doing a heroin

>I memorized every Bill Hicks standup routine

WEEEW LAD and I didn’t think it could get any worse

>This is the same as King
Hey, Stephen King is a Leo Tolstoy level genius compared to Ernest Cline. Cline doesn't have a single original thought, everything he writes is "REMEMBER THIS THING FROM THE 80S?! THE 80S WERE THE BEST!"

This isn't a poem, it's a shitty stand-up routine with bad formatting.