I'm a freelance web developer

>I'm a freelance web developer
>and I'm a stay at home mom
>we're looking to buy our first place and we only have a budget of $950,000

I'm unemployed (factory I worked at shut down) live in a shitty basement apartment and can barely afford to eat.

This show is like economic porn, it's the equivalent of "I'm a blonde with 36DD tits but I only suck the dicks of nerds at Comic-Con"

>when their polished granite countertops cost more than your entire house did

>I'm a sahm and my husband is an engineer
>500k is our max

This actually isn't that outlandish. It all depends on where they live.

>tfw you'll die having never had some noisy asshole living above you or below you

>poorfags think the show is unrealistic
>they just don't realize they aren't getting jobs because they're unskilled retards

You also gotta have a firm handshake

What if I am the noisy asshole?

Not even that, just bee yourself

Family money

Boomer parents made their money when steaks costed 5 cents but the wages were the same as today, so you could actually save something.
Current generation is so cucked by the modern economy it's not even funny.

...

Shut up and go shake some hands, youngin'.

Back in my day, we had to hand in an application to become CEO at the local steel mill.

...

More like a lifetime of inescapable debt.

My favorite one of these shows was this family that wanted to buy a beach front vacation house on the Gulf in Texas. This would actually be there second beach house. They went over budget on their first beach house and had to turn it into a rental to stay afloat with the mortgage and they wanted a beach house that was just for them.
So they bought another beach house.
And they went over budget.
And they'll probably have to rent it out to keep up on the mortgage.

It's more complicated these days, back then you just had to bust your ass and good things would come to you, these days if you get the right highly skilled job you'll be able to afford things your grandpas could have only dreamed of, but if you fuck up you're better off suiciding and roll again.

This has potential

But you can make stacks as a freelance software developer. Working however many hours you want at 50-100+\hr for several years, run the numbers.

Why not just post the tweet?

>tfw adjusting life goals to reality

>that'll be $100,000 plus tip

Heres the reality.

Can you explain to me how does debt work in burgerland, you take 500K dept for a house, you take 100k more for few cars and lets say 100k more for house shit. Whats my interest rate? How much do I pay is it few dollars every month or few hundred ? If I can pay the bank pennies till the day I die and never actually fully pay for the house the fuck would I care then

It's not that bad actually. I could afford a fairly decent used motorhome, the bigger problem is local legislation restricting me to overpriced campsites instead of just somewhere or even MY OWN DAMN PROPERTY. I'm not allowed to live in a motorhome on my own property.

>granite countertops
>whited painted wood trim
>beige walls

PLEASE let these things die. Every single pablo house flipping company does the same garbage and it looks awful
>50s mid century house? GRANITE!
>1920s wood framed bungalow? GRANITE
>70s split level with carpets and warm walls? GRANITE

call me a purist but as an architect, i prefer keeping the interiors to the style of the age of the house

As an architect you should know that the average buyer is a tastelet that readily falls for retarded gimmicks like granite.

>style of the age of the house
lol

the walks across the street and finds a job is accurate though
it's the lowest unemployment rate ever right now where I work and places are begging people to come apply

Sad but true. I'd never sell a house if I acutally made it look good

you think a midcentury modern house would look good with home depot cabinets and oversized Ashley couches?

You are supposed to take a 30 year fixed interest rate loan at like ~4.5%, paid monthly. To get these loans, you either pay 20% of the principle up front or you add an insurance payment to every monthly payment. There are other options, like an adjustable rate mortgage where you have a ~3.3% interest rate for 1-7 years and then the bank has the option to change your rate. if you fall way behind on your payments, I think the bank forecloses on your house and sells it off.

Granite is fuking timeless mate

Those floors are city hall waiting room tier. Seriously hope no one puts those in his home.

Nice blog.

Its just the latest meme fad. In the 70s EVERYONE wanted that shitty masonite wood paneling on their walls, and it was a huge selling point. Dont get me started on WALL carpeting

people are retarded, they want high paying comfortable jobs then they complain about other people stealing the jobs they do not want to do.

So what would you recommend for the counters in a mid century or older?

tv shows like this piss me the fuck off

not because some people earn more than others but the fucking smugness of how full these motherfucks are about themselves that they wanna show the world their shitty shit

Formica boomerangs perferred. still being made today

Yeah for real. And totally doesn't fit the setting. Polished concrete would have been 1000% better

kek

The TV in the waiting room at my chiropractor's office is always on HGTV, and I laugh whenever an X-ray tech/bookstore worker lesbian couple says they have a $750,000 budget.

I hate this channel so much

Heres the original kitchen to the house

1/2

and the same floorplan house with a new kitchen

2/2

the really good contractors use that chinese marble that slowly releases poison gas for the occupants

Good old formica eh? Neat, thanks.

FUCK YOU

>so fucked in student loans i wont be able to buy a house and get a good job after college

Is college just a meme? Im regretting it now

ask your parents to will you their house when they die

Should have become a freelance web developer :^)

Why is every lesbian couple a chubby woman who would be hot if she lost 20 pounds coupled with a woman who looks like Justin Bieber in a fat suit?

There was a good article on hgtv on vulture recently if anyone's interested. Apparently to be on the house hunters show you must have already closed on a house so it's all fake (not surprisingly).

Also, the whole archetype they have created with these couples who star in all the remodeling themed shows is amusing. Where the man is an affable caveman only good for manual labor and the woman 'designer' is the true mastermind of the project. It's so contrived in how it flatters their target audience (who presumably see themselves and their partners in the hosts they are watching) but people seem to love it anyway. Also strange is how they glamorize the house flipping business when it (among other things of course) contributed to wrecking the economy so recently.

>beg for applicants
>get 400 applications
>have 4 positions
>only fill 3 positions

Nothing will ever be a more tragic design trend than carpeted bathrooms.

...

the one episode I was near had a professional dog-walker with a budget of 700k

>with Mumbai outsourced labour

>we can't buy this house, I hate the paint color

If you're not aware, there's an RV version of this formula that's pretty funny to watch.
It's all people buying $300,000 land yachts that they'll either use twice a year to "bring the family together" or they want to live in it year round and work remotely to "simplify" their lives.

I'm probably the only person who finds wood paneling comfy.

Perfect space to entertain all of our friends

fuck i remember that one

The tiny house hunter douchebags are even worse. “It’s too small” we need more room

Which one are you?
Dark bronze interiors
or light colors and lights?

I would feel uncomfortable on both of those living rooms, but more so on the bottom one.

Whatever's dim
Dim
Dim
DIM
Why does everyone need so much fucking light?

*Great place for my man cave
*So this huge closet is great for all my clothes where will my husband put his stuff
*It just doesn’t have that WOW factor curb appeal
*We need a room just for our dog
*We have to travel 1 mile to get to the beach?!
*We need a home 3 blocks away from where we currently live

I like 'em both.

If you feel suicidal, take a shot every time you hear "open concept".

Modern day lighting makes everything look like a fucking Thomas Kinkade painting

example?

*bullies his hapa wife*

>time to find another husband to flip!

>tfw just got granite countertops installed today
don't ruin it for me you motherfucker I want to sell this shitty house someday

All right team, first we're gonna paint this foyer blue and then we're gonna paint my uterus white, let's hustle

Because female sexuality isn't primarily based on visual simulation

Oh fuck you television, cut me one fucking break

>market is so fucked here it's sort of a meme
>brother moves out
>help him out and make an investment by going 50% on his one bedroom condo
>we sell it 5 years later for $85k more
>put it toward my own condo i bought from plans in a very good location
>owned my first investment property at 23 and bought my own at 28
>anyone else I know are living with their parents, eternal rentcucks, or married and barely scraping by
>tfw single and independent and tfw no gf

Constant low light is bad for the long term health of your eyes, even moreso trying to read or see things in dim light.

If this was true then statistically they wouldn't ALL get gfs that look like this

You're not even arguing against my point. Women don't really actually care that much what their long term partner looks like. If he/she/xer/helicopter gives her the tingles mentally, that's the only thing that matters.

Also, lesbian couples statistically have less sex than any other pairing of humans

granite is better and what a shit spot to place the stove holy fuck

Too might light gives me a headache and I don't read in the dark.
Also
>not wearing a headlamp when you read
The only good thing to come from Peggy Hill

I still don't get why this show is called "Rehab Addict"

Alright let's settle this granite meme:
>Absorbs liquid unless it's sealed
>Even if it is sealed, it needs to be reassured l resealed every few years or it will start absorbing liquid again
>Gives your counters the appearance of constantly having crumbs and shit on it
>Pain in the ass to actually tell if you have cleaned it or not since it looks the same no matter how much dirt is on it
>Expensive as fuck for what it's essentially a rock

Did I miss anything?

I'm not talking about at night time nigga, I'm saying during the day your eyes need light. Being trapped in a dim neetcave all day will fuck your eyes up something good. Also if babies under one year are not regularly taken outside during the day they will develop nearsightedness and need glasses later in life.

by dim he obviously meant the lamps not the fucking daytime light openings you absolute mong

You don't get it user

She has to fix houses. She HAS to. She gets the shakes if she goes 12 hours without installing new drywall. She'll suck your dick if you let her retile your bathroom. C'mon man, help her out

I took it like he said it, which is dim interiors

but I like my granite countertops still under construction, that's my dishwasher in the corner

the house also has the original asbestos tile. uh oh everyone is gonna die

>tfw this will never be true
>no girl will ever touch my dick

>Getting a small-ass sink
>Using a dishwasher
>Falling for the granite meme
>Mixing beige countertops with stark white cabinets
W E W
E
W

too late

Yes, not all granites need sealing and the ones who do need it the sealing lasts for about 10-15 years.

what about my bathroom?

I had sealed granite countertops in my apartment and they absorbed fucking everything

Color contrast is better but not sure why you're going all /soc/ on us here. Careful or you might need to go back to redit

>>Using a dishwasher

Dirtpoor detected

Fucking hell that's a quality shitpost. Toppest of keks.