ITT: Best theater experience

Post good times in the theater.

Now that we got that out of the way, thoughts on my kinoplex novel.

I put finger in pusy

>circumvent no-singles policy with mom pretending to watch the film with me
>dump too much butter on popcorn at the butter spray, but ends up tasting better, plus the butter than got on my shirt makes me smell good
>flick is absolute kino (BvS)
>mom comes back from her "friend's" house just on time to pick me up
>ticket ripper didn't even flinch when I failed to tip him
literally 10/10 experience

...

>go with a friend to see some movie about a boat that sinks and flips over or some shit
>was pretty good, enjoyed it
>fuck around in the arcade/lobby area for a bit
>put money into a capsule machine hoping for candy (half had candy, half had shitty toys)
>get half a capsule and nothing else
>not a jaded bitter cunt at that point in my life so we're howling with laughter over my meager prize
>he pops in a coin and tries it out
>out comes a capsule full of candy and another half a capsule
>the timing of their drops and the way they land atop each other has us laughing even harder
>a friend from school is exiting some horror movie (quarantine, maybe) and notices us wiping tears from our eyes
>tells us we have to see this movie he just watched
>yeah fuck it, why not
>he comes in with us
>some mother brings in a 5 year old and sits next to us
>hatch a plan for our friend to grab the kids leg or some shit at a jumpscare, as he would know when they're coming
>mother takes the kid out long before we can do this, i have no idea what the fuck she was expecting but certainly not what was playing on-screen
>rest of the movie goes by uneventfully
>mutual friend leaves with his dad
>late at night and pouring rain at this point
>refill popcorn and drinks and walk home
>i slip on a rubber parking space marker like pic related and drop all of my shit before we even leave the parking lot
>laugh uproariously
>friend refuses to share his so i shove him into a bush at the earliest opportunity
>he falls with way more grace, or cares more for his food, doesn't drop a bit
>gives me the remainder when we finally get to our houses

i kinda thought reminiscing would be nifty but now i'm just sad that i'm an adult and can't have nearly the same fun without the assistance of illicit substances

...

surviving the Aurora movie theater shooting

soundcloud.com/lazerbird-98477393/afternoon-at-the-kinoplex

Empty theatre watching la la land
Fucking great

>simple knight out with friends
>buy a tub of popcorn, candy, and soda all combined in one, free insulin shot included
>well-built negro hands everything to me with an unusual smile
>"that will be $40 kinobucks sir..."
>reach to get my wallet
>"...plus tip."
>freeze
>I fucking forgot to bring a 50% tip
>friends begin to get impatient
>negro eyes me suspiciously and is about to signal the kinoguard to take me away
>gotta think quickly
>reflexively stab the negro with my rapier
>get pardoned because I am a knight and he is a fucking nigger
>mfw

Saw Grindhouse as a true double feature with the trailers in the middle. Had to sneak in, all of my other friends got caught except one other guy I wasn't that close with.

It was the greatest movie going experience u ever had.

madman

>falcon pecks my penis off as soon as i enter the kinoplex
>fail penis inspection and get sent to clean up crab legs
What the fuck did I do to that falcon?

>notice beta-looking falcon
>through empty crab legs at it from behind
>won't do shit but shriek a little because beta
was laffs

>get free ticket to number 23 when I buy a DVD
>Theater empty
>Sneak in beer to get drunk
>Movie sucks
>Pull out my psp that has porn on it
>Fap and cum on seat
>Get new seat
>Start playing psp games
>Piss in empty beer can
>It doesn't work as well as I thought it would, seat covered in piss
>Get new seat again
>Just ignore the movie and play psp till little over
>Slip out before the clean up people show up and find my jizz and piss can

My friend and I smoked some dude weed lmao and went to see Drive.

We hadn't seen any trailers and assumed it was going to be a fast and furious type of movie.

We were very pleasantly surprised.

Today i saw Mother! I went out trembling, i swear. I'm afraid of large amounts of people so that movie was just scaling and scaling and keept me on the edge of my seat

>be 14
>spider-man 3 just came out
>seeing it with my mom as per tradition with the spider-man raimi films
>take a shit in the bathroom beforehand
>somehow clog the toilet even though those toilets are basically designed for industrial sized shits
>laugh and leave it there
>everyone is in the bathroom outside of my stall
>movie probably just let out
>everyone's doing their thing, pissing, washing hands, etc.
>the hand dryers are SO fucking loud for some reason
>literally almost nigh jet engine loud
>no one seems to give a shit though
>i'm holding my ears
>i manage to wash my hands and slip out of there unscathed
>movie was pretty good, I enjoyed it

>not opting for the extra butter bucket for only $22 more
win will you guys learn?

Well here goes my funny story!

>go kinoplex
>man night couple fe
>I sweat phew close man seats
>nice man Robert crab leg here you go sir"
>butter....
>cave popcorn deep dark scary
>a loooong time
>chad can hear
>finally movie
>over
>reeeee

When I worked at the theater it was way too common to find a trail of shit leading into the women's restroom. It's almost like they pooped out their skirt on the way to the bathroom, then just wiped and went back to the movie.

i have known multiple women who's "i need to poop" scale looks like this:
>I have absolutely no need to take a shit, if i tried, nothing would happen at all
>i need to use the bathroom within the next 5-10 minutes or i will shit my drawers
>i have shit my drawers

i don't fucking understand how they can be so out of tune with their own body like this

I didn't come here to feel user

just picture me hopping on that parking thing like i'm the coolest guy and then eating shit spectacularly immediately
the slapstick imagery helps a bit

Huh, I though that those thing are reserved for Walmarts

>be me
>go to local theater to watch a showing of FWWM for the 25th anniversary
>David Lynch is working the counter, says I can’t buy a ticket on my own due to the no-singles policy instituted to keep virgins from shooting up the place
>he says “Don’t worry user, I think I can help you out”
>opens a trapdoor to the cellar behind the counter and goes in
>I can hear Lynch yelling and some indistinct screaming and sobbing from the cellar
>a few minutes later he returns up with Sheryl Lee on a leash
>gives her to me so I can buy a ticket and get by the no-singles policy

Pretty based of my theater desu, I didn’t even have to worry about the designated shooter since Sheryl has the VIP Protection Plan

When I worked overnight janitor duty at Kohl's they had little garbage can thingys in the women's stalls for tampons and pads, and daily I would find atleast 1 pair of shit and/or blood covered panties crammed into one of them.

Women's restroom are so much more disgusting than men's.

i can't help but imagine a 10 year old burmese kid with a smartphone, who's never been to a movie, reading these and rushing back to school and telling his classmates all about the magical land of america

>been depressed because of high school
>IMAX a ways away is playing Interstellar
>been reading reviews and participating in Talkbacks
>”I just want a movie I can escape in, something where I can be like ‘fuck it let’s go to space’”
>go with some friends (a black guy and a trans guy)
>we’re dicking around, making jokes, enjoying life
>we’re squished up against the walls but don’t care
>mfw the black hole scene
>mfw us shitting on the “Love Transcends time and space” line
>mfw coming out of the theater and processing what we just watched

I don’t even care if the movie’s just okay, that experience was fucking excellent. Haven’t experienced that kind of raw amazement in a while.

>arrive at my kinoplex by bike the new friendly economic discount is in full discourse at my theatre
>climb through the barb wire, luckily I've dressed in the proper gear before hand and slide through with ease
>chuckle to myself as I slide past a hopelessly entangled child and his crying mother pleading for help
>greeted by the lowest tier recruits of the kinohiearchy as I withdraw my wallet from my pouch
>welcome user please pay the current viewing fee, today's fee is 29.99 including your economic pass your movie will be in sector 416 unit 09
>I pay for my ticket not daring to ask which flick I will be watching tonight
>

>not using the secret tunnel next to the oak tree just outside the watchtower.
Get on my level bro

>i'm leaving
>be at bike rack
>he comes up and asks me for my number
>go out a couple of times
>we fall in love

And that Sup Forums is how I met my boyfriend at the Rogue One midnight premiere. It was the best thing that has happened to me in the theater.

Ur a fggt

>go to see X-Men
>rowdy black guys in the back
>they keep talking loudly and making jokes and puns while the movie plays
>they're actually fucking hilarious and more entertaining than the movie
>theater staff doesn't even stop them

Times when I was the only person in the entire cinema.
It's happened twice.
Ant-man and a resident evil movie i forget which one it was.

>that pic

KEK

one of the more recent friday the 13 movies was empty and we just hung out and did whatever
hardly paid attention to the screen, basically paid our money to rent a dark, large room for a couple hours

I like your story user

got a handy from my qt3.14 high school gf at a screening of friends with benefits. I do not remember the movie.

Also had this very hot but very crazy feminazi lust after my D, we went to see rise of the planet of the apes and she was feeling my arms/shoulders/pecs/junk the whole time

Thanks.

>Be young me at Kinoplex
>Waiting for the next screening of Spiderman 2
>Playing Time Crisis II on the arcade system
>Ticket ripper is mirin my skills
>"That's some fine shooting their kid, how about being the designated shooter for today's screening?"
>Hands me an AR15 loaded with 30 hollow point rounds

>My local kinoplex was shut down due to the expired food license
>Not the daily theatre shootings, endless amount of falcon shit, or underage workers
>Fucking food license
>mfw