WHO'S READY FOR PIRATES 6?

WHO'S READY FOR PIRATES 6?

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jag

YAG ESBARROOOOO

I haven't seen any of the movies, am I missing out on much?

First one is great, the rest are okay. Watch the first, if you like it keep watching more.

You could torture me by forcing me to watch these trash movies at least transformers normally has some eyecandy and fastnfurious is so stupid it's comedy at times these are just dull.

Here's an hour long video essay on how great the first one was: youtube.com/watch?v=zhdBNVY55oM

The others kinda became transformers-tier (especially 4 and 5)

youtube.com/watch?v=YgHNtzxO0y8

They're pretty damn good films. First one was spectacular, first three are all pretty great. Quality certainly takes a dip for 4 & 5 but that doesn't mean they're bad, they're just not as good as the earlier ones.

I'd say you're missing out, for sure. They're fun to just chill out and watch. Not switch-your-brain-off tier but still pretty simple, enjoyable action films.

>53 minutes long

It's actually pretty well done.
yeah 4 and 5 aren't bad, but they could've been better, and definitely needed a few more drafts written before it went into filming

JAHG

Why is this only just now becoming a meme? Did it just come out on DVD or something?

YAK SBARRO

>YAK SBARRO

This line here reminds me about some article written by a guy who moved to Chicago from San Fran for a year or two, and as he left he wrote this thing giving his "hot take" on Chicago as he was leaving and in it when he talked about Chicago people he told this funny little story about trying to get his flirt on at a Chicago bar early on.

>super awesome SF guy spots a table with 3-4 chicks and no dudes
>buys himself a beer and walks over to the table like HI I'M [NAME] AND I JUST MOVED HERE FROM SAN FRANCISCO AND BOY THESE WINTERS SURE SUCK DON'T THEY??
>"uh [name] sorry but we're not interested"
>*stands up and picks up his drink*
>"YEAH WELL JUST SO YOU KNOW I DIDN'T WANNA FUCK ANY OF YOU ANYWAYS!!!!"
>dude notes how saying thatade the chicks seem legit bothered after he got up and left, like they couldn't believe he actually didn't want them

And of course he blamed it on Chicago for having different customs for meeting chicks at bars and rah rah rah, but holy shit if I was those chicks I'd probably be cracking the fuck up like "holy shit how gay is this guy? He *IS* from San Francisco, you know..."

I honestly don't think I'll ever get tired of Pirates of the Caribbean, even if it took a nose dive in quality even more. There's just something I love about it.

You know what I love about it?

Barbossa.

Fuck the writers of 5.

>video essay
hola reddito

That's my main gripe about this last movie. The daughter thing just really had no fucking place. I understood Will Turner's kid, but not her. She was just "there"
It honestly made no fucking sense for her to be in the damn movie.

Both characters they clearly just wanted to have "new Will" and "new Elizabeth" but the actors themselves are apparently getting too old to go on adventures. You just know they want some lesser known actors they can start a whole franchise with.

Still, killing Barbossa is just dumb, especially when he died and came back before. Maybe he thought "You know what, someone's probably going to bring me back to life, so why not?"

They do not have the attraction of Will and Elizabeth, especially Elizabeth. She was fucking great. Hamfisting it into her being Barbossa daughter was shit. W/e tho, still a comfy fun watch

I unironically love these movies.

My 20 year old liberal arts major, feminist cousin will love posting about this on reddit in-between watching Dr.Who and Star Trek.

I agree completely. They felt like shoddy knockoffs. I will also agree that it was mostly fun and the humor was as good as ever, though.

>Tfw will never have a good strong lead like Elizabeth's actor again

I'm just gonna rewatch the first 3 movies, still excited for 6th. If they could somehow turn it into Will and Elizabeth plus their kid fighting w/e thing and turn it into a family thing that honestly would be kinda cool

We all know how that turned out in the third Mummy film.

I hope so but I don't think Keira Knightley wants to have an active role in Pirates ever again. At best it'll be just Will.

probably fewer moviegoers than the previous installments

Fug you're right.
I realllyyyy hope she reconsiders

I am.

The first one is great, the rest that followed had the misfortune of coming out during the time LOTR was glowing hot, so everything was turned into an epic, no matter if it worked or not.

>Elizabeth gets a badass pirate outfit in Pirates 3 where she's a competent swordfighter and it's highly successful
>FUCK THAT! BACK TO BOOBS!

DVD quality

SERIOUSLY. Why couldn't we get Elizabeth going full pirate, conducting pirates business and killing people while meeting Will in his spooky boat here and there and-

>She got preggo

Welp shit, pirate life is no place to raise a baby.

youtube.com/watch?v=2A0h2Akj1dM

Listen to this song and tell me how that's not an epic.

they've killed of both Barbossa and Jack Sparrow before, if they want to they can bring him back.

Stupid though, he didn't even need to die

The series is effectively garbage. 5 was directed terribly.

what disney did to the pirates of the caribbean franchise is like giving a michael mann crime drama sequel to michael bay, and then firing michael bay and letting kevin smith run the show
her face kinda looks like beans from even stevens, then again i'm an autist with facial blindness
while not elizabeth, i bet that's what the new girl is going to become in the next movie. which disney is getting rid of all the auction scenes in all their rides (where they sell women as slaves) and replacing it with a new female pirate scene lol

I don't know how they'll bring him back unless it was planned from the start. Davey is apparently back though from the end scene.

These movies aren't even that good. They should just do a crossover with another franchise they won't stop shitting out.
>Pirates of the Underworld
>Transformers of the Caribbean
>Sparrow and the Furious
>Piratnormal Activity
>Saw Meets William Turner
>Pirates of the Ice Age

Elizabeth did her role well and grew with it, which made it likable and loveable. This bitch did not. There is nothing I found interesting or even remotely attractive about the character she played. It felt shallow.

I am fucking salty.

SHIFT YOUR CARGO DEARIE, SHOW 'EM YOUR LARBOARD SIDE

People like Kaya because she was in Skins and has BIG boobers. Don't expect them to care much about character development.

Wait, that's effy? Fuck I did not recognize her at all. She was hotter when she was younger tf.

First one was ok and the rest were all shit, why do they keep doing them?

Give Kaya 2 more movies and she'll grow with the role. Also I loved her.

oh boy, they're gonna milk it like there's no tomorrow, aren't they?

>movie makes money
>they keep making movies
WOW WHY DEY DO THIS?

Critics don't decide whether or not a movie is made. The people do.

>avoid watching Pirates 5 because I heard it was shit
>turns out it was swashbuckle kino
>easily the best since Pirates 2

Although I do hope Depp isn't such a tired pudgy alcoholic in the next movie.

First one is damn solid entertainment. Second has its moments, mostly Davy Jones related. Third is shit aside from the climax. 4 is worthless garbage. 5 has a good sequence from time to time but is mostly stupid.

I sure hope so, I need my milkies.

Not really, they are ALL shit. I couldn't even finish the last one

She's shit and you have shit taste no surprise here.

I hate Elizabeth, she was just that annoying feminist trope. And that girl with boobs was just another one, she's a smart scientist, and fierce too...

there was a 4th and 5th once?

Elizabeth was shit, there's a reason why that actress disappeared after POTC.

>that girl with boobs
Insinuating Keira Knightley doesn't have boobs?

Give me an example of how she was shit.
>annoying feminist trope
Big Boob girl does everything right, holds the answer to everything, witty and everyone loves her.

>This is not a feminist trope somehow and he's bitching about Elizabeth.

Shit taste user

What the fuck? I've never stopped seeing Keira in films. Maybe you just stopped watching good movies?

WE wants the redhead!
we WANTS the redhead!
we wants THE redhead!
we wants the REDHEAD!

>Give me an example of how she was shit.
I'm not saying she can't act, the chacater was annoying, it was a twerp girl, typical feminist trope.

>What the fuck? I've never stopped seeing Keira in films. Maybe you just stopped watching good movies?
Come on, only her fans know what she have done after POTC. she only makes small movies. She accepted a cameo in the last one because her career is dead

Knock Knock POTC crossover when?

This reminds me of this part in Monkey Island 2.

Really? I never got that from her, she fucks up from time to time and her character grows up imo. Oh well. To each their own

>Tfw cant wear pirate aesthetic

YAG

YAG

YAGGIE SPARRAOW

Cross it over with John Wick instead.

>easily the best since Pirates 2
Faint praise.

No, this is faint praise:
ᵉᵃˢᶦᶫʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ˢᶦᶰᶜᵉ ᴾᶦʳᵃᵗᵉˢ 2

Cross it over with The Transporter. Jason Statham plays the great great great great great great grandfather of Frank Martin, and he and Jack Sparrow have to use a schooner to transport stolen Spanish gold because the dutch kinapped his niece.

Original Trilogy ia worth watching. last two movies, not so much.

2isn't so great and 3 is fucking torture.

Does no one like 3?

>Transformers of the Caribbean
I would probably watch this one desu.
Giant robots transforming into pirate ships, fighting with giant swords and cannons on their arms sounds cool af.

I liked 3 way more than 2. No idea why 2 is so beloved. "Ello beastie" - only good scene, I nearly cried.

Personally I am really looking forward to Fantastic Beasts for the sole reason that there's going to be a long franchise with Johnny Depp hamming it up as the villain.

6? I wasn't aware that 4 and 5 existed.

That movie was shit.

Just do a Pirates & Transformers Crossover already.

Call it 超级垃圾空间机器人杀死魔法海盗

Part 1 is a decent Star Wars movie and Keira A Cute.

Part 2 & 3 are crap but contain some of the best effects work ever done.

I couldn't even finish Part 4 and I'll never watch Part 5.

>not Fast & Furious: Caribbean Drift
or even better, they should have made the 7th one the crossover, The Fast and The Furious Seven Seas.

Forget that you learned they exist today, they aren't good.

True.

Except at the end Vin's car turns into a robot and we reveal we're in a three way multi-verse.

Set aside what you think of the first one because from now on we're going to have Johnny Depp hamming it up as the villain.

Will Chink pandering die in our lifetimes?
Has to be the most braindead audience ever targeted.

That movie was better than every single Pirates flick though

No. America's days of influencing the world are over.

They're not.
Now we just have to watch braindead American blockbusters with forced trips to China, people speaking Chinese and Chinese product placement unnaturally sprinkled in.

It's not like the Chinks can actually create cinema that will work on a global level, they just want enormous American franchises that they recognize.

>implying Depp won't kill himself before they get the chance

Why do they keep crossing out the o? Can't they back space?

And they make the money.

So.

O with a cross through it is pronounced "oy." It's a special character.

How do these movies get worse and worse?

I didn't think anyone could make a bigger pile of shit than 4 and then 5 came along.

>How do these movies get worse and worse?
This. Bob iger, former weatherman, now president of Disney. Reboots and rehashes , buying better companies and turning them into slaves is his signature.

Disney focus on making 6 or 7 movies a year, and they are all mega blockbusters with +200M marketing budgets. They need to play safe as fuck because another John Carter situation and the entire ship could sink. So all their franchises safely and steadily become shit

5 is definitely better than 4 despite being quite shit.

>5 is definitely better than 4

Is there any other series of movies that has "ended" as much as this one? I remember when the first movie was just a one-off, then they said they would do one sequel to it, then it was a trilogy, then they did the 4th and that was it, now the 5th one was the last movie ever, and now they're already in pre-production on a 6th?

Sucks that John Carter flopped so hard, I ended up reading the book and it was pretty damn good.

If the 5th one was supposed to be the last movie they did not do a very good job of it because they went and gave it the most sequel hook-y post credits scene in the entire series.

Like imagine if they ended it here. Davy Jones just walks into Will's room, watches him sleep for a bit, then goes "eh" and walks away. And that's the end of the Pirates series.