Why is there barely any movies depicting the thirty years war? Is that era in history so boring to people?

Why is there barely any movies depicting the thirty years war? Is that era in history so boring to people?

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youtube.com/watch?v=LpQRwC_leNM
youtube.com/watch?v=75oM6gTVRYM
youtube.com/watch?v=G9sVcRxopJU
youtube.com/watch?v=4y6agtVxWi8
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too nuanced and boring. people are dumb now user.

The powers that be don't draw attention to that period because it was when they were rewriting the history of Europe and underselling Roman Catholic power's expansion eastward, and you can't have films were white people are being genocided.

people know fuck all about Cathars and other sects like Arianism for a reason.

Jews cant have them questioning the media attacks on Christendom again and the origins


It's not boring, it's just too sad to make an entertaining movie out of..

People have barely no knowledge about this era.
Try explaining this shit to the average movie goer in less than 4h

Because it's an extremely complex and nuanced conflict, meaning that your average pleb viewer won't have the patience to watch or even get it.

it would obv be a miniseries

Doesn't fit the narrative.

No clear "good guys" and "bad guys" like in WWII. That war will be milked for decades after even the Boomers are dead.

It would be a series. Still tough to do though in the current year where everything has to be over the top drama and appease the SJWs.

m8 people think Game of Thrones has too many characters and showrunners can't remember half of the plotlines. We're talking about a war that start as a civil war between catholic and protestants german states, has a bunch of Swedes bankrolled by the French to remove the catholics while the French remove the protestants at home and ends up as a war between Spain and France that is waged mostly in the Netherlands. And also England fights on both sides because Cromwell.

what do you mean

Would the show have tits?

this is pretty good

What a lovely church you got there.

Be a shame if anyone reformed it.

Look at that smug anti-Semitic prick.

it paints christian white people as violent power-hungry imperialists (which they are)

so white media won't ever touch it.

aren't catholics the bad guys?

This. They would have to find a focus on the most simple part of the war and leave the complex political stuff outside. The whole construction was a mess

It would be too difficult for them to shoehorn a bunch of ugly minorities in there.

Kek

Anything involving the Holy Roman Empire doesn't fit the narrative and isn't allowed. Duh.

>implying Luther wasn't literally the Hitler of his time

Kinda. Even though the pope wasn't BFF with Ferdinand II if I recall correctly. Ferdinand would be the bad guy for sure.

>good guys
>siding with the Ottoman empire

So pitch me a descent premise and stoyline for a 120min Thirty Years War movie

They don't even pretend anymore. They just let some black guy play Gustavus Adolphus the greatus like it is the current year get over it

you mean he did nothing wrong?

They could easily do it since the Ottoman empire was involved in increasing its regional power and sending support troops to Bohemia.

Just have the movie follow some guys life. Wallenstein would be a good choice. Or Gustavus Adolphus.

Just do that meme *record scratch* "Yep that's me..."

In the seventeenth Century, in a small village in France, Thierry Bàlde is a young farm boy in love with his cousin Renee Ribery. When Renee gets engaged to the Dutch Captain Robin Amsterdam, Thierry challenges him to a duel of pistols. He wins and escapes to Denmark but is robbed on the road. Without an alternative, Thierry joins the French Army to fight in the Thirty Years War. He deserts and is forced to join the opposition Holy Roman empire where he saves the life of his captain and becomes his protégé and spy of the French gambler Chevalier de Balibari. He helps Chevalier and becomes his associate until he decides to marry the wealthy Lady Armagnac. They move to Austria and Thierry, in his obsession of nobility, dissipates her fortune and makes a dangerous and revengeful enemy

Bump

You mean a war that started because Bohemian estates wanted to keep the rights pic related's predeccesor gave them.

it's easier having color coded enemies

A boy falls in love with a church.
Unable to confess, he is gifted by a deus ex machina with ninety-five Theses. Never minding the strange writing, he immediately nails them to the door, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day’s confessions to the church, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the church he called is not the same church he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn’t exist in this dogma at all. She is the church’s alternate protestant counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC’s own catholic self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Wars ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most heretic secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to reform the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of PREDESTINATION.

This was good

hey I saw that movie

Anglos performed really poor during that war, no clear winner, a complex geopolitical matter, doesn't fit the actual gender narrative, etc.

Why are there almost no movies that depict the holodomor?

Depicting it accurately would make Christians look very similar to current Muslims and the Alt Right doesn't want that for some reason.

Yes and we all know how influential the altright is in Hollywood, they practically run the place

>it paints christian white people as violent power-hungry imperialists

>so white media won't ever touch it.

Literary no media doesn't agree with you

This. But man, the Venetian oligarchy and the founding of the Jesuit order would be kino.

Lovely

Damit, now a want an action packed historical biopic of Konrad Wiederhold and his legendary defense of the Festung Hohentwiel against the Empress of Austria.

>hurrr the Jews don't want us to see the REAL history
>Why aren't they showing Christians viciously slaughtering and committing every kind of atrocity imaginable!

lmao

>Jews are waging a war against Christianity, which is why they won't allow a movie about Christians engaging in an infamously brutal war filled with torture, massacres, and soft-genocide

this is your brain on Sup Forums

Don't think a movie about that era would be good in the hands of Hollywood, such a project could probably get more justice if produced by some Euro studio. Though it would probably not get that much attention and scare other people off from giving it a shot

>it's ok to depict christians as simple-minded, hypocritical savages that prey on the misery of the human condition
>it's not ok to depict them as people

back u go

>too sad to make an entertaining movie out of..
Bullshit. Dramatic sad grim bleak stories are fun too. Stop being a pussy.

There's actually that Bertolt Brecht play "Mutter Courage und ihr Kinder" that could be filmed and made into a movie.

One single reason, OP:

>England just sent a small force to fight the war and lost, and then they stopped caring about it, like, 15 years or even more before the peace of westphalia was signed. It makes sense this Anglo centered world does not care about it

When was the last time Hollywood did a proper historical film that wasn't either a World War film, a wild west film, Rome or maybe Arthur if you count that as historical?

I guess Master and Commander comes to mind, but other than that I can't think of anything

imdb.com/title/tt0053885/
Gustav Adolfs Page (1960)
Gustl Leubelfing, daughter of the mayor of Nuremberg adores the king of the Swedes. So she happily substitutes her brother as Gustav Adolf's page instead of marrying her fiancée Roland. Of course she has to hide that she's a woman, especially when they go into war against Wallenstein.

also a difficult period to shovel minorities into

Kingdom of Heaven?

Apocalypto

Barry Lyndon
Any of the many Revolutionary War movies

>Master and Commander (2003)
>King Arthur (2004)
>Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
>Apocalypto (2006)
There was a short resurgence of historical stuff in the early to mid 00s

imdb.com/title/tt0026564/

>When the village of Boom, in Flanders, learns a Spanish Duke and his troops plan to pass the night, the 4-man army deserts and the Mayor plays dead; so the Mayor's wife organizes the townswomen to greet the invaders and preserve the peace with womanly wiles.

I don't know man, pike and shot is bar none the coolest era of warfare.

More tits and gore than your stomach can handle.

Posting some comfy landsknecht songs that I believe come from this era(not sure though)

youtube.com/watch?v=LpQRwC_leNM

youtube.com/watch?v=75oM6gTVRYM

youtube.com/watch?v=G9sVcRxopJU

Protestants started it reeeeeeeeeeeeeee

10/10 would declare war on the hasbergs again

youtube.com/watch?v=4y6agtVxWi8
What an interesting time really.
I would love a series or more movies about the thirty years war.

You look thirsty user, let me give you a drink

youtube.com/watch?v=ORNOFGZgi2w
Why are mens chorus songs so comfy?

get the fuck off my board mehmet

Get off Sup Forums Jackson

woopsie doo

>There are protestants on this board RIGHT NOW

delet this

>France.

To me it sounds like friends that enjoy a nice drink in front of a fire after years of hardships, how can that not be comfy?

catholic dogs beware

Verhoeven's first American film flesh & blood is essentially a 30 yr war war film. Appalling knowledge of film around here

What is it about the germans that make them do this time and time again? Autism?

I'd love to see a series where Gustavus Adolphus was one of the main characters. Us finns could be play the part of the minority in his army.

tv show when?

OP didn't say there were no films about it, just not that many

>You will never see a hakkapeliitta Chad storyline where he gains the favour of Gustavus for his brave actions in a movie or series

>they need to reform the heart of their other selves.
Kek'd hard.

>people know fuck all about Cathars and other sects like Arianism for a reason.

the world is literally run by Satanic Cathars lol

REEEEEEEEE

>american film studio
>wanting to create accurate showings about european history

Why would that happen?

I remember one movie which setting was the Thirty Years War and it even had the soize of a Tangerine Man in it

literally how is he the bad guy?

He was smug because he was right.

Always

All according to keikaku

>no tv series about the imperial boys purging heretics

>tfw all the nationalist fags worship karl "autism" xii instead of the based lion of the north

>be born in dirt poor 17th century finland in a literal frozen hell
>as a fucking dirty finn
>Gustavus drafts the entire manhood of finland for his war because nobody lives in the scandinavia
>despite being a dirty fucking finn, get into one of the most elite cavalry units of the war, the Hakkapeliitta.
>get to witness the grandeur and amazement of civilization in central europe
>also get to fucking conquer it

Ebin simply ebin.

I dunno about you swedes but at least here in finland Kustaa Vaasa is taught in schools as the "definite" swedish king that "defined" sweden. And also build half of finland's cities, like my home town and the fucking city of Wasa.

>set in 1501
>16 years before Protestant Reformation
>117 years before Thirty Years War
>talk about none of the relevant themes, political or religious
>'essentially a 30 yr war war film'

Appalling knowledge of history around here

leave it to the fins to spell his name wrong

Don't hate them too much, they can barely spell at all.

Well it's definetly the same here in sweden aswell, but Karl 12 is a martyr so the gay nationalists like him more

Dude it's a film based on the first italian wars....

If we can't spell how come we beat swedes in pisa scores? :^)