Star-Lord #1 storytime

Dance

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Dreamworks face

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This

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Can someone explain to me what Peter's narrative gets out of tying him back to Earth, or even having him have Earth-related adventures in general? I mean despite the fact that it's his home plane, his very origin is centrally about him leaving Earth and going off to explore the universe. As a result, he has fuck-all for narrative formula there, not much in terms of supporting cast, and barely any way to tie the adventures he has there into his larger themes.

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HAHA TIME FOR UNFUNNY AND BARA

We want the beefcake audience.

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B.M.B

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>With her initiative to save people through what experts had called 'predictive justice' overwhelmingly supported by the public.
It's been said before but it bears saying again: fuck Marvel civilians.

I didn't think I was gay, but this sudden boner has me asking questions

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Hey, Brand's right there user.

Unfortunately, she wants to fuck Captain Marvel.

It's called a fish out of water story. Live with it.

There's plenty of shit to bitch about regarding this, but the setup is not one of them.

That is the gayest, and I mean literally dick-in-ass homosexual, cover I have ever seen.

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The end

>Everybody who could loan the GotG a ship is intentionally not doing so because they hate them so much

Only way this shit makes sense

Is Old Man Logan coming onto Star-Lord?

so next issue is the marvel citizens are nuts and nuts for supporting captain facist?

>It's been said before but it bears saying again: fuck Marvel civilians.

Reminder they were overly cheering in Norman Osborn during Dark Reign. And of course 65+ years of being cunts. I think I rather be hated by Marvel civilians. Might mean I'm doing something right.

Peter's frosted tips has my peter's tip frosted. Sorry, not sorry.

Fish out of water stories work best when the "fish" is significantly different from the society they find themselves in. Pete's been an Earth man in a space world for decades, so with putting him back on earth, you're limited to insignificant stuff that different, like his space gun. It's pretty boring.

Wolve fuckin' rine.

I'm fully ok with this.

key word being decades

Isn't Carol like overload supreme commander for space and has governments at her beck and call? I'm having a hard time trying to imagine that she can't provide them a spaceship. Hulk lent Nova Sam a spaceship as if he was loaning him a bike. So it really shouldn't be this hard to get off earth in a halfway decent ship and then just upgrade somewhere else.

Hellooooo new waifu

Carol really let herself go

Right, but that's publication decades, not in-universe decades. Even with the most recent retelling, he goes to space as a young man. And the time he has spent in space, what does it really amount to here?

Why did he break up with Kitty?

Probably because the artist is an actual gay homosexual who likes penises.

Let's look at this another way.

Has he ever spent significant time dwelling on his time on earth or actually revisted earth for any significant length of time?

Is he more comfortable in space or on earth?

Oh man I hope this leads to him getting Ship back.

this is fine

I have no idea what the fuck is going on in the Marvel Universe anymore. I thought Logan was dead, why is he alive and old? When did Kitty get back to Earth? What happened to the GotG? I feel like I need to go back and read like five different previous books just to know what's going on.

She loaned Human Torch a spaceship so he could go visit Thing.

>another Star-Lord volume
i get why they do it with Carol but why even bother with this nigga?

>I thought Logan was dead, why is he alive and old?
its old man logan. he got stuck here post secret wars

Clearly more comfortable in Space, but not for lack of understanding Earth customs or culture. He just didn't LIKE his life on Earth and he left. It's not a story about a foreign individual exploring a culture he has to humorously or otherwise find out the customs of. It's a story about a guy who left one culture being forced awkwardly and against his will back into it. And so far, it's been as unenjoyable as a story as it is for Peter, because there's so little to tell a story about.

>this whole page

Fucking kek

I'm glad Zdarsky remembers that Quill hates Earth and doesn't think highly of Earth heroes

This was not nearly as bad as I was expecting

Small parts of the movie crowd will still read it, and when the next movie comes out, it'll see a massive surge.

Look man I want Pete back in space too, honestly I still think his classic stories are the best because he's just bumming around space, trying to learn more about the universe he loves and himself while finding trouble and saving lives in the process. That's my Star-Lord, that's the reason I love him right there.

That said, Zdarsky is not responsible for this setting, Bendis is. And I think Zdarsky is handling it pretty well so far, he certainly seems to get Quill's character better than Bendis or Humphries. I just hope he gets back to space ASAP once Bendis' grounded thing is over.

Also for a comedy writer this book is much less comedic than either Howard or Legendary Star-Lord.

Unrelated

I am pretty sure Abigail Brand hasnt used her superpower in years. She may have used them only in Whedon's run.
She can turn her hands on fire like a blowtorch. I wish she used them at least once here or in the Carol book.
she is a half alien half mutant furry, she fucked beast because her father was an alien as hairy as him. And the Siege Secret Wars tie in by Gillens with her as main character was one of the best books of Marvel in the last 5 years.

Literally the entire god damn point of fish out of water stories is to make the character be put in uncomfortable situations.

As I said in the first place, don't bitch about the setup.

If you have a problem with the content or the pacing or whatever, fine, but the setup is in and of itself fine.

And I laughed at him getting arrested due to no street cred. When was the last time that happened to anyone?

I agree with
>he certainly seems to get Quill's character better than Bendis or Humphries
but because of
>Zdarsky is not responsible for this setting, Bendis is
It doesn't really feel like Zdarsky knows quite what to do with it.

>And the Siege Secret Wars tie in by Gillens with her as main character was one of the best books of Marvel in the last 5 years.

I guess I should have read it.

>Literally the entire god damn point of fish out of water stories is to make the character be put in uncomfortable situations.
Really? Because most of the ones I've seen, Thor, Splash, Avatar even, one of the keys to the genre is less about how uncomfortable they are in the setting, that's part of it, but more about how unfamiliar the world is to them, and the character learning about a world that's not their own. I don't think we have the same idea of what a fish out of water story is, and don't really feel that it excuses this book's threadbare premise.
Also, why do you type like a tumblr user? Each sentence doesn't need its own paragraph.

It's far from my ideal Star-Lord book but so far it's not horrible either. After the last few years that's frankly enough to get my attention, sad as it is. I'm willing to see where he's going with it.

Either way we both obviously love Pete so let's keep our fingers crossed that it's back to space after Bendis is gone.

what have they done to him

Enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. Thanks.

>will uke for money

Ukemi aka "uke" is basically the japanese equivalent of a "bottom", looks like this guy's taking it up the ass

Pretty sure she used it once in the SWORD miniseries (which was hilarious).

Pete's a good character, and it's a travesty what Bendis and Humphries did to him, but so far, nothing here's a travesty, so I'll keep an eye on it at least.

They turned him into gaybait, which is an inspired decision that I'm totally OK with.

Not "them." Bendis. Everything that has happened to Quill (and by extension the whole team and Cosmic as a whole) since Marvel Now first happened is directly Bendis' fault.

Same, I don't dig the concept but the writing is already so much better than Humphries and Bendis it's not even funny.

>Peter having no friends that aren't the guardians
>doesn't know art but is drawn to starry night
>constantly complaining about earth
>making fun of earth heroes for always fighting

This was surprisingly entertianing for a story that basically cuts against the very concept of the character.

Humphries is the one that pushed Peter with Kitty and wrote books that were pretty much just about shipping them.

thank god he leaked civil war II and went to dc

Dogfucker is who pushed him and Kitty getting engaged, surprisingly enough. You'd think Bendis would have done it considering she's his Jew-girl waifu.

It's nice he's putting an emphasis on the element gun.
And beefcake.
Stupid sexy Star Lord

The element gun is such an awesome weapon. It's never been explored to its fullest potential as a tool either. It provides Quill with so many unique opportunities to manipulate the environment with his clever knack for improvising.

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This Howard the Duck and Guardians shit makes me cringe so hard. God damn, fuck James Gunn for adding in that meme slice.

>It's Star-Lord, but a black chick
Pass.
We just had that in Star Wars.

Pretty decent isuse otherwise though. Surprised.

you know what makes me cringe? attention whores on an anonymous imageboard

I wonder when Peter is going to find out that Rich is back

>"Hey Rich--"
>[Howard the Dusk phones Peter]
>"What do you mean the kablors are attacking the Badoon embassy on Earth!?"
>[Kitty Pryde phones Peter]
>"What do you mean 6 million Earthlings died by the hands of an evil Chitauri?"
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>"Sorry Dick, I gotta run!"

>Unfortunately, she wants to fuck Captain Marvel.
What the fuck is Marvel doing to Brand

A Wolverine teamup and "You're under arrest" in the first issue is not a good sign for this book.

Which Anka costume is your favorite? The one with the slimming vertical lines, or the one with the slimming vertical lines?

If Brand thinks that these guys are a menace, shouldn't that be all the more reason to loan them a spaceship in order to get them out of her hair?
The fact that the GotG are stuck on Earth because their spaceship blew up is already a pretty dubious premise, stuff like this only calls attention to it.

>A planet I haven't lived on in years
Good to see they changed the dialogue from the preview, where he said "a planet I haven't lived on since I was a kid", which is a movie-only thing.

Judging by this issue, turning her into green Spider-Woman

Bendis thinks they are 'lovable scams', but I'm pretty sure Bendis's favorite movie is Dumb & Dumber

ironic because in-universe Spider-Woman's costume was meant to be green but she defied orders and made it red instead

Cute bait, but uke is short for ukulele, the most annoying of hipster nerd instruments.

That's called a smirk. If he was grinning at the camera and showing his teeth, it'd be Dreamworks face.

>Look, Old Man-
>"Logan" is just fine
Truly, he was Marvel Now!'s Guardians of the Galaxy's Star-Lord: Grounded(TM)

Was Gillen the one writer who did Brand the most justice? S.W.O.R.D. was a great read

Zdarsky is only responsible for acknowledging Humphries' shit, not even Bendis did that.

But if he can do something decent out of it more power to him I guess.

Shut the fuck up, Rooney. You're worse than Boco.

Do yourself a favor, don't read about her in the Humphries Star-Lord comic because you might hate her.

Hopefully his reunion with Rich happens in this comic especially since Anka likes Rich and he would amp up the gay.

>Rich
>Dick
>Not Richie
>Implying Peter would let a pissy duck and naggy jewess get in the way of him seeing his long thought dead bro that he cried for.