You have a twelve issue story to fix 616 Black Cat. Everyone, even Slott Machine, has to accept the status quo you establish for her for at least a year. How do you do it?
You're only allowed one retcon, and it can't directly effect the past of any character other than Felicia herself. Just killing her is off the table.
Hard Mode: No 'she changes her ways after a really good fucking'
It was Chitauri infiltrator.
Reveal she has a penis.
She changes her ways after a really good fucking from based Logan.
Doombot Skrull LMD clone
Claws wasn't even particularly good.
Plot by Mr. Negative after he heard about her capture by Spider-man to get revenge on them both.
Bam, done.
>twelve issues
Jesus Christ. I'd need six at the very most.
Felicia would get wind of some really bad shit going down where she inadvertently makes it worse and she's unable to excuse herself. All this time she's been a 'badguy' she's yet to really cross the line so far.
Then she'd go to Silk for help since they were already buddies. Throw in Miles and maybe Spider-gwen for good measure. And then in the last issue Spidey himself shows up and they leave things amicably with Felicia remembering why ahe admired him so much.
Bam! Done and done.
Also Spidey gives her a really good fucking.
This "Black Cat" is actually Chameleon who took the advantage of Superior Spider-Man incident. He keeps the real Black Cat in his rape dung--, I mean custom prison cell.
totem shit. the cat totem her bad luck powers are tied to is a god of calamity and it's been corrupting her for the duration of pretty much the entire mephisto verse. it reveals its gotten bored toying with her and is gonna eat her soul unless she does some herculean labors for it to indulge its vices. she has to bring it a legendary fish, some legendary milk, catch a legendary mouse, etc etc. From issue three onwards Loki tags along as a sort of spiritual advisor because the god of stories is a sucker for fairytale crap like this. one issue has a guest appearance by Hercules where he loans her his nemean lion capeand a really good fucking, another issue has guest appearance of Black Panther where its revealed her cat god is the spawn of his panther god.
Final issue she has to sufficiently entertain the cat god with a game of hide n seek without getting killed. she wins by assembling a sort of divine laser pointer from trophies she's piked up along the way. after some traditional mutual grooming cat god lets her reclaim control of her own destiny but warns her after its (decades long) nap she has to play with it again.
Totem shit is pure cancer.
do you actually hate totem shit or just how JMS applied it to spider-man? because a bunch of other marvel characters were already totemshit in everything but name such as Black Panther, White Tiger, Red Bull, and Moon Knight
>I can feel some disgust beginning to build from you user
yeah. four issues is way too long to get to the point in a twelver
She changes her ways in an attempt to gain a really good fucking, then sticks with it because the sex is just that good.
One of Black Cat's schemes goes south and she ends up responsible for the death of someone Peter cares about. She doesn't give a fuck, Peter realizes that he's been cutting her way too much slack because of his guilt over the Superior thing.
Goes full silent predator mode (like at the end of the Gauntlet, even gets his black suit out) on her organization, brings the whole thing down around her ears, and soundly trounces her in hand to hand. This all takes about three issues. The next 8 are about her going to jail for an unspecified stretch of time, and having to go through rehabilitation. Pretty much entirely character driven, lots of flashbacks and callbacks to earlier Black Cat storylines. Peter makes a few visits to check up on her. Felicia and Peter have an honest and open discussion about their relationship or lack thereof. The overarching conflict in the prison puts Felicia against some asshole female inmate who's running the place, and treating everyone like shit, especially the weaker folks. Felicia has some run ins with her, but the boss bitch doesn't really have a beef with her. She's just a cruel fuck to everyone else, and Felicia has some empathy with the inmates that are beaten and downtrodden. Final issue is Felicia kicking her ass to stand up for what was right and do something altruistic, which makes her seriously consider doing the rest of her time quietly and with good behavior, to make an honest change in her life.
Then some supervillain attack happens and the walls to the prison get blown out, leaving Felicia the opportunity to escape. She looks at her cell and once again considers doing the right thing and staying put. Then she says, "nah, fuck that" and goes off to once again be a morally ambiguous cat burglar with a heart of gold.
Black Cat is the new Venom.
Easy.
She attracts Frank's attention and has enough foresight to say "Fuck this" and get out of the criminal game.
Just like Otto body jacked Pete, that lady ock body jacked Felecia
This is pretty much how i'd do it
However, this sounds so fun
Black Cat has to lay low for a while and opens a casino in Madripoor. What follows is a Kaii-esque tale of high stakes gambling where she puts her life on the line to win information and arrange deals to accommodate other people, both heroes and villains, who have gambled and won the right to demand such favors. While it reinforces the 'no black or white' mentality she exhibited in Silk it also puts emphasis on how the whole world being overrun by this villain or that jackboot hero is bad for her own self interests
It's a clone
Someone said this in the Venom storytime thread, but give her the symbiote.
it would only take me 1 issue.
>everything that happened in Slott's books was only a dream black cat had while in a coma.
done.
Send her into space for fun adventures and tentacle dickings.