Thankssssssssssssssss

>Thankssssssssssssssss

Why did the snake thank Harry here?

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Harry fucked the snake's wife in a deleted scene

He gave the snake freedom by removing the glas of his cage. the snake thanks him for that

>Thanksssssssssssss
I almost went an entire day without remembering what a hack Rowling is

>that scene where the snake strangles hermione and fucks her tight cunny

what the fuck were they thinking?

Maybe it was thanking him for letting it escape one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

The snake eventually came back in the last movie though.

The snake wasn't Nagini.

I certainly enjoyed the scene afterwards where the snake ate her, but I think it probably went over the head of much of the target audience.

How did Harry make the glass disappear?
Are we supposed to believe that a child that didn't even know magic existed, performed a spell that doesn't exist anywhere else in the extended HP universe, without a wand(something only experienced witches and wizards can do)?

No. JKR is quoted as saying something about that snek, but it was probably some pottermore bullshit about it become Headmaster of Myanmar's top snek school.

Young wizards are magically volatile, if they are forced to suppress it an obscurus forms. Wandless magic is performed by kids all the time. Harry disapparates on top of the school he goes to before Hogwarts running away from Dudley completely by accident and only the thought of escape directing the magic.

Are all snakes magical or are there muggle snakes just like there are muggle humans?

Do snakes only vocalize their snake language in front of people who can understand them? How can they tell who is a parselmouth? If they don't then surely zoologists and linguists would have picked up on the fact that snakes have a complex language system, and speaking to a snake would be like learning a language. Or do they just speak so quietly that only parselmouths can hear them? Does that mean Harry has enhanced snakewhisperer ears too? Perhaps they reach out to the parselmouth's mind and speak to them via telepathy? But then why does Harry move his mouth at all? Speaking of this particular scene, do snakes in the HP universe understand abstract concepts usually associated with higher thinking animals such as gratitude? Do other animals as well? What makes snakes so special?

So could Voldemort summon giant snakes to fight for him? That would be cool

According to JK Rowling it was

>Voldermort hid one of his soul stones in a snake in a British Muggle school
>"No!"

Harry spoke snake language to it first, so it probably assumed Harry could understand it right back.

Parselmouth is a kind of hereditary curse created by Salazar to be passed on to his descendants. If you have the trait it makes snakes conscious enough to converse with in your presence, and they retain that intelligence while acting on your requests. Snakes do not naturally communicate with each other in parseltongue. They are not innately magical creatures. The wizard supplies the magical effect.

She wrote the books not the movie script

The snake wasn't magic, Harry just knows how to talk to snakes

Kind of pointless when you can shoot green beams that kill people they come in contact with.

Things like that and big V cursing the abstract concept of the DADA position seem to be on a completely different scale to the rest of the magic we see in the books. That's the kind of thing I want to read about, not some twerp bong stretching his legs

It's the least the snake could do before he slithers off to escape the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

You've come to the right thread.

hpmor.com

You can either read the full length novel as an ebook, or listen to it as a decently-produced audiobook.

It's 66 hours long and I thoroughly enjoyed 64.5 of them.

this never fails to make me laugh

>and then count olaf shows up
lol what the fugg :DDD

I think I read a chunk of that when it was incomplete, is it the one that suddenly starts being a Very Special Episode about bullying?

It's now complete and well-polished. It has a lot of Very Special Episode moments, but I decided it was worth it for the creative and philosophical aspects. Of course it's entirely informed by modern shitlib morality, but good luck finding scifi or fantasy literature that isn't.

I think its a reference to talking snakes in things like the Bible, perhaps hinting that some of the supernatural events in it actually happened in the HP universe.

also it points at the sign saying 'bred in captivity' so evidently it can speak and read english.

Yeah was just trying to place it. Thanks for the reco, I'll put it in the backlog

Np, user. I listened to it while doing yard work. It was a good background task that allowed me to enjoy it without flying into an autistic rage at the signally bits.

...

underrated