I was walking home the other night, and I was thinking about it, and do you worry Steve...

>I was walking home the other night, and I was thinking about it, and do you worry Steve, that when you're old you will be on your own?

Ooh, he's done you again!

Karl was fucking savage towards Steve

classic Karl
steve is a cunt and deserves anything that goes his way

Little chimp walks in, takes the gun, takes the MONEY and starts backing out

why do you guys hate steve?

>I think you'd sort of be approached a lot, because they tend tuh go for people who look like they don't have much chance

He sucks himself off so often his poor posture isn't a surprise. That's why I dislike him.

he's funny but he's pompous as fuck and to be honest he isn't the reason why i watch anything he's involved with. i hate ricky though as well

He's ok, he's definitely the least funny of the three though and most of his anecdotes are boring.

Steve was always a 110% cunt towards Karl even when it wasn't deserved. (like Karl talking about if we think in our own voice)
Meanwhile Karl only tended to savage Steve when he was being a huge cunt and needed to a put down.

No way mate, he's by far the wittiest of the three. The show wouldn't be the same without him. His anecdotes are obviously made up though, it's quite pathetic really

Did Karl ever get that boiler fixed?

totally agree. steve is the voice of reason, rick is a charlatan

>what about you karl? what would you do before the world ended?
>well, I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse

one of the best moments on the show desu

Karl was too beta to say shit against Ricky because he was his boss. Anytime Steve laid down some mild banter Karl would get butthurt and say something extremely personal.

Americans don't understand this. They think Amy Schumer making fun of Steve-o because Ryan Dunn died in a car accident is "banter".

>LITTLE BALD MANC TWAT YOUR A FUCKING IDIOT KARL WHY WOULD I WASH MY HAND AFTER PISSING WHO DOES THIS HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE THOUGHTS???

>Mr. Dilkington

...

>Steve
>mild banter
Nah, Merchant doesn't do banter. He does legit ad-hominems meant to inflict hurt based on appearance, intelligence, etc and Karl only resorts to those in return.
Ricky, all for his being a screeching manchild, does know how to do banter and actually plays off Karl's musings, even deliberately misunderstanding them for comedic effect, whereas Merchant only manages to do dumb-as-fuck shutdowns, repeating the question in a sarcastic manner with a stupid followup question and fake-huffing for air while insinuating that Karl is mentally handicapped.

>They think Amy Schumer making fun of Steve-o because Ryan Dunn died in a car accident is "banter".
Nobody thinks that

It could of been your brother

>mfw I kick me height

'ang on a minu'e

"A'right, so there was this truck"

"A Truck?"

"Yeah, in the desert, someone in it with a bag o'er their head, couple of other guys in there. Not me this time."

"WHICH desert."

"It might not've been a desert, there were mountains and grass not long after."

"What?"

"Look, they bring him out of the truck over to the plane, and there's this fella standing there right, like he's not got a belt on...but he has got a belt on."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!"

"Just listen! ‘E says, ‘e says ‘I’m CIA’."

"You mean he was with the CIA."

"No, no, he just says CIA."

"He’s the entire CIA?"

"No he…, look they say…uhh…look, we were to give you this doctor…"

"‘What Doctor?"

"HE was the main one they were bringing, but they brought the ones with bags as extra."

"Extra Doctors? And there’s two with bags now?"

"No! One ‘ems easy to forget. Look, CIA…"

"His given name."

"Yeah, CIA says…look, don’t know what you’re playin’ at here…can’t be bringing mates. But they say they work for this kind of gangster guy, called Blaine. And CIA says…right, we’ll take ‘im."

"Ok, I’ll stop you there. If they lift up the hoods, and it’s a monkey, or any kind of primate, we are NEVER doing this feature again."

“No, no listen. They get in the air, and CIA’s like, carrying on trying to get them to talk about the gangster.”

“While on the plane?”

“He says…where they’re going…they’re expecting one less than there is.”

“What do you MEAN Karl?”

“Like, what he’s saying is he’ll throw one out.”

“Of the plane?”

“Yeah, and like, he opens the door, and he pulls one over and like, shoots out the window next to his head.”

“‘Shoots him you mean.”

“No. He only pretends. And pretends to throw ‘im out. And CIA says… oh, he didn’t fly so good.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Yes, he did.”

“No he didn’t. that’s not grammatically correct, you messed it up in your weird little Manc head.”

“Listen. And the other one, with the bag on their head, ‘e says…he says, well you wouldn’t shoot someone, would ya? if you were just going to chuck ‘em away anyway. And CIA walks over, takes off his mask, and its Blaine, and he’s got this like, metal spider thing, covering his mouth.”

“Oh CMON!”

“No, he does. It sort of looks like…did you ever open up a washing machine, and its all small pipes all close together. It was all that…but in face form.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“And CIA says…he says…if I take that off, would you be alright, or is it like a medicine thing. Would you die, basically, is what he was asking.”

*Sigh* All right, and what did he say.”

“He said it would hurt a lot and that.”

“Right.”

“For you.”

“What.”

“It would hurt a lot…for you.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN!”

“Nevermind. See its just ‘cause it’s me sayin’ it. If you saw that in a film, like, a film from that one who made Inception or what have ya, you’d think it was brilliant.”

“He wouldn’t PUT THAT in his films! He’s not that stupid!”

>"Ok, I’ll stop you there. If they lift up the hoods, and it’s a monkey, or any kind of primate, we are NEVER doing this feature again."

This is the best thing ever posted on Sup Forums

somebody screencap this, I'm fucking wheezing

>But they say they work for this kind of gangster guy, called Blaine

>But they say they work for this kind of gangster guy, called Blaine.
lmao

>“No, he does. It sort of looks like…did you ever open up a washing machine, and its all small pipes all close together. It was all that…but in face form.”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...

Fucking gold

If they made one of those screencaps whith all the reactions, please put me there

samefag alert

Ironic that Steve now plays Marvel superheroes in award-winning Hollywood franchises and Karl is still a bald manc twat

faggot alert

I think the time Steve tried to kick Karl off his own pub quiz team explains everything

The guy used every media opportunity to suck kike cock so that's not surprising, he even went so far as to state that his ideal life would be to be reborn as a short jewish new yorker ala Woody Allen.

lmao seeing him little for real makes all those stories even funnier

>little monkey fella

He already is a short jewish new yorker on the inside

>karl constantly making money with re runs of idiot abroad and moaning of life + all huge dvd/Blu-ray sales + his book sales + a new show coming up
vs
steves one glorified cameo role which will have been the lowest salary and he will never reprise the role.

that's a big post

>tight with his money
>always bumping his head on shit
it makes sense

I would bang Karla

lmao girl karl looks like current holly hagan from Geordie shore

>he will never reprise the role
How do you know, Logan was a sequel far off in the future. He's still alive in current timeline

Now imagine him agonizing on the ground with dozens of empty Tictac boxes around him.

Boswollocks

Boswell

He reminds me of myself too much

>so he... put the Forest Gump kid into a wheelie bin