Why does this thing feel focused grouped to hell

Why does this thing feel focused grouped to hell

OY VEY IT'S LIKE A SECOND EWOKAUST

It's our fault, all the pengu memes made it popular

Because Disney saw how much Ewoks merchandise sells at Disneyland (trust me, it’s a lot) and decided to double down.

couldn't imagine why...

Because it obviously is. The whole movie has been built from the ground up through regulating and committee board room meetings.

Fucking think about that. You're going to see a movie designed for the lowest common denominator, from the ground up. It's like pornography at this point. Except porn is starting to feel more genuine. This ain't just a Star Wars problem btw.

Couldn't they make it cute? Or at least not ugly as fuck?

Completely honest though, I'd buy my young child both Ewok and Porg plushies if I had one.

It's literally an organic BB8, a half ball on top of another ball

fucktard

How will this help stop white supremacy?

>porn is starting to feel more genuine

Most of it is still shot on real sets with no CGI and all the actors are real and the penis really goes into the vagina. Of course it's more genuine.

They expanded the star wars universe with pokemon

>If you buy your kid a Porg plushie, you contribute to equating this with Star Wars in the mind of the next generation
>If you don't buy your kid a Porg plushie and try to show them what you consider to be "Real Star Wars" then because Disney is going to flood the market with nuStar Wars for decades to come, you're going to make social contact more difficult for your child, as they'll be the only one who holds onto the Original Trilogy, while all the kids around them probably only saw/remember the new shows/movies/comics/etc

ok ok so we obviously give him big puppy dog eyes thats a given now hmmmm how about some fish lipped jowls like the Lorax, a big ole penguin like belly and hmmmm....Bob?

WE GIVE HIM CHICKEN FEET LIKE BABA YAGAs HUT!!

BRILLIANT

Gtfo u feg

The entire Star Wars franchise has become focus tested to hell and back since Disney bought it.

Imagine if we could turn Porgs into a "hate symbol" and force them to recall them all like Bungie was forced to remove that skin from Destiny2]

You just know they'll pull out all the stops for a Marvel / Star Wars crossover at some point.

Disney know how to work parents' wallets.

Who here wan't a Porg comic? :D

>If you don't buy Star Wars shit for your kid and instead buy a toy for chads like a toy car, your kid won't be a beta loser nerd who obsess with geek shit when they grow up

Reminds me more of Mussolini for some reason.

Maybe give him the Pinochet hat.

Same. The name sounds fun to say.

the only thing this has worked for was pepe, and thats because we made pepe

It literally looks like a chew toy and not like a living creature that could plausibly feed and protect itself
The Ewoks were overly kiddy but you at least bought the idea that they're a bunch of natives on some planet who live in the trees and can make tools and work together to bring down larger prey

>thats because we made pepe

It's just a 'for the kids and people who like cute shit' thing. Yknow, like R2D2, ewoks and Jar Jar.

*blocks your path*

>Not getting him a BB gun and telling him to hunt little animals like Porg

>we made pepe

Pepe is a perfect example of stealing someone else's work and subverting it, no different than doing the same thing with Porgs.

You're an idiot. The creator is a leftist shitbag that is pissed it's getting used in 'hateful' meme's. That's verbatim shit right that

tfw you don't own porg.org

>we wuz pepe

I think they're fine. Least it's something light not like "THIS ONE IS GONNA BE DARKER CAUSE EMPIRE WAS DARKER" even though that was a muppet space wizard movie too.
Only star wars that wasn't made wit lh toys in mind was the original

Porgs make me think of PAWGs

God, it is so hideous

GotG follows much the same logic as SW does in regards to fantasy outer space physics.

Porg stands for Proud Of Racial Genes

>we made pepe

Thanks for outing yourself newfag

It doesn't you just think you are a lot cooler than you are.

No it "literally" isn't.

What a fucking retard

No, the reason this "worked" for Pepe is because HRC mentioned him on TV and told the sheep what to think about it.

You instantly know someone has no idea what they're talking about when they say leftist derogatorily.

Right on Comrade.

Same

I just knew about that thing when the official trailer came out.
And I'm a big fucking star wars nerd who practices with a lightsaber everyday.
And apparently there's already merchandise of that little shit?
What the fuck.

wow sure is weird how we never saw this animal before that will be all over this film, not even in episode 7.

really makes me think.

totally not grumpy cat

looks ugly as fuck.

What is this thing from a new kids movie looks cute?

i want one

This is the only answer!

The porgs are the key to all of this

Like what was done with Wendy's?

>thats because we made pepe

CURAA CURAA!

KURWA KURWA

WE ARE THE PORG
WE WILL ADD YOUR MONETARY AND CULTURAL DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

Thank God you'll never reproduce. Sadly, many others like you will.

>Not giving your Son Darth Vader/Luke/Boba Fett Toys
>Not Giving your Daughter Leia toys

So will I, in all honesty. The Porg thing is literally the only reason I'm hyping for the movie, not even memeing.

IT LITERALLY PRINTS MONEY

Simple, like people were saying last night.

The best way to make this bite focus group testing in the ask is make this the next Pepe. Just hijack the shit out of it.

>Ein volk, ein reich, ein Porg

>we made pepe

Holy shit, this. Get Sup Forums on it.

For some reason the legs annoy me. They don't fit the rest of the design. The thing is already a pretty clear mix of a penguin and a seal, do you really need to add the first thing a child would think of when you ask what bird's legs look like to complete the picture? It's just so literal. But at the same time they don't look like they belong at all. It fucks up the proportions and makes the Porg look too intelligent the way it's standing straight up. Design it like an alien. Pic related obviously resembles an ostrich or cassowary, but it's consistent in its design and is distinct enough to suspend disbelief. Worse, this was just a random example I pulled out of my ass in 5 seconds designed for a videogame as throwaway wildlife, not a major part of the marketing by a Star Wars film that costs hundreds of millions to make. The Porg is like a Mister Potato Head they just sloppily mixed and matched different cute cartoon animal parts on. Cynical!

>being mad that penguhamsters are a merchandising cashgrab
>not having the same outrage towards ewoks and jawas
what you're hating on now the younger-you would have enjoyed. star wars has been and always will be a childrens franchise. you guys just need to accept that you're getting older.

Ewoks were at least cute looking.

thats already been done they're wise to it now. I think it would be better if people made an absolute truckload of rule 34 porgs

because it exists solely for merchandising purposes, the thing that the prequels were shit on, but now its okay

The whole movie is focus grouped to hell, if you don't like the Porg on this principal, you may as well dislike the whole movie

They have seabird legs because they are things that live on a rocky coastline.

More like
>WE WILL ADD YOUR CUTENESS TO OUR OWN

But Boba Fetts aren't soft and cuddly.

FUND IT

>demographics department says girls love bulldogs and pugs nowadays
>yeah well demographics also says they love penguins

>JJ Abrams stops leaning back in his chair and his face reveals itself out of a haze of smoke that was floating around him
>I...I just might have an idea

Jackpot!

Go to the nearest door and slam it on your penis, many times.

>everything bitches about ewoks in episode 6 as a cheap way of selling toys

>the eternal jew does it again

>complains about shameless marketing tricks and merchandising in the film
>doesn't realise that the film (and by extension the franchise) itself is the merchandise that uses shameless merchandising tricks

If you don't like Porg, use those same complaints on the entire Star Wars franchise. Porg is emblematic of Star Wars as a whole. It has ALWAYS boiled down to Jewy marketing tricks and shameless cashgrabbing.

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Just porg my shit up

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