Nothing happens

>nothing happens
>nothing happens
>then it ends

Great rec Sup Forums, you really know you're horror films

This that Shymanaln movie? Villagers?

lol stay btfo OP

pleb

Your I.Q was too low

t. brainlet

One of the greatest films of the last 10 years.

Now go watch Rosemary's Baby. It's the same thing only at twice the length.

It's a slow burn movie, and it's refreshing compared to every other horror movie made today which is all jump scares and no style. Anyone can do jump scares, it takes talent to do good slow burn.

It would be better if they never showed the witch. and was about the family going nuts and killing each other.

This is the most brainlet post on Sup Forums right now

I honestly thought it was a little boring and her bosom in a corset is INCREDIBLY DISTRACTING

I just want to see her fuck somebody

dont sexualize anya please

90s born faggot fuck off.

Anya is made for sexual

80s you dumb fag. I didn't say it was bad, I said I was a little bored.

80s were literally the 90s of decades

are The House of the Devil and The Witch the only two good horror movies to come out in the last ten years? don't give me any meme counter-examples like The Conjuring or Lake Mungo or whatever bullshit you want to believe is underrated

Are you retarded there was tons of psychological stuff going on between the family or does your autism get in the way of that

...

House of the Devil isn't that good, so... no.

no!

I want her to act all autistic on my cock

You're pushing 30 and you say things like
>Anya is made for sexual
>I just want to see her fuck somebody
>INCREDIBLY DISTRACTING
You're fucking pathetic user.

wait, somebody actually recommended this to you?

Never, ever listen to horror recommendations. It's a meme genre for retards and the only time it ever works is if there's some humor in the mix.

This shit movie is pure style over substance which wouldn't be so bad if the style wasn't junk. If you don't like old-timey shit that's severely enamored with how old-timey it is, you have nothing to look for here. There's a special sort of cringe with all this "historically accurate" stuff. They really show whatever atmosphere they're going for down your throat. Life was life, even back then. If you're shooting something that takes place in the past, ignore the "past" part, shoot it like you'd shoot anything happening in the present. Or don't, whatever, there's an audience for this shit.

"Well shot" they say. The same crowd that claims every single fucking movie where nothing happens is well shot.

Sometimes it's just a matter of nothing happening. Nothing happening does not automatically equal suspense.

There's nothing clever going on with the plot, it just dangles along and then the girl becomes a witch. Huh, bet you didn't see that coming? Whatever.

Ignore the pretense and you'll see the same old stupid horror building blocks, including fake jump scares. Spent the movie hoping that the twist would be that there were no monsters at all so the movie could at least have a point to it, as lame and predictable of a point as that would be.

So the source material is old folk tales, as they proudly proclaim. So I guess this amounts to a very dry rendition of old folk tales retold through the generations among very dumb people. What a grand idea for a movie.

There's even a fucking exorcism scene, a fucking exorcism scene. Holy shit, the movie is pretty much tailor made for idiots.

All this "slow burn" managed to do is melt my brain.

If the Witch ispraised for one thing, it should be that it is one of the best pleb filters in all kino.

Maybe you're to intelligent for it. Have you tried Rick and Morty?

>You're fucking pathetic user
Said the pathetic autist posting on the Chinese cartoon image board.

It's always rich when you losers try to argue you're less a loser than everyone else here.

LOL

this movie was great, pleb

giv ayylmao gf

>Slow burn

AKA "psychological horror" where nothing happens, a genre for hipsters who think they're hot shit for liking uneventful movies without muh jumpscares.

...

...

BINGO

One of the best movies of recent years and your reaction is "i want to see fuck" "hee hee cleavage" kill yourself.

go watch the new paranormal activity or something you troglodytes

The Witch (and Ex Machina) are unironically movies that appear patrician but are actually dumbed down for mass marketing to plebs.

Those movies were literally designed to make the audiences feel as though they were leveling up in taste

>best movies
nigger please

You unironically sound like an user who has strong and well-supported opinions on horror movies.

Which would you recommend? "New" is not even close to being a requirement. At least make a top 5 list.

When nothing happens in a movie, it's a stark contrast to most modern films where too much happens in a movie. People often confuse this departure from current norms as a sign of quality, it's not. Nothing happens. It's a story that could be told in

Nobody's comparing, just stating that you're a massive fucking loser

>It's a slow burn movie,

:^\

Slow burn, aka builds up tension and then releases at the climax.

Audition, Susperia, the original Texas Chaninsaw Massacre, The Shining.

I don't think you know what autistic means.

It was fantastic. Perhaps because i didnt know anything about it going in, i never saw a trailer or advertising for it but it was one of the most enthralling movies I've ever seen.

The missing key is that the movie has to have a climax.

Maybe you should stick to texas chainsaw 9: biels nipples.

The family dies, the goat turns out to be the devil, and she attends a witch orgy and flies away to neverland to fuck Peter Pan. That's a good climax.

Depends what kind of horror. We've had some great slasher movies in the last decade.

>Great
>slasher

that genre has been beat to death, it was beat to death before Scream lampooned it with it's "nudge nudge wink wink" humor.

i wouldnt even think about pulling out

still waiting on one of you kino patricians to explain why this movie is smart.

I guess if you sit down and think about it, you'll have to realize you were just sitting there stroking your chin with one hand and jacking off with the other over how smart you are to "get it". Feel free to prove me wrong.

VHS 1 and 2. That's about it, really. The reason I like these is because they knowingly play around with the horror template, but without devolving into outright parody. The movies are a collection of separate, short horror stories. Some are good, some less so. Some of them are essentially parodies, but as stated, never blatantly so. To better explain what I mean - one of the stories is about zombies. The catch is that the zombie is the main character and the entire thing is a first person account (quite literally first person, as in, shot that way) of what your average zombie will go through in a zombie movie.

Also The Blair Witch Project. I hated it back when it came out, but after rewatching semi-recently, I liked it for whatever reason. I guess it was genuinely "tense" or whatever. Maybe I was just in a good mood that day.

Just about every genre of horror has been beaten to death from slasher, found footage, torture porn, supernatural horror, monster movies. It depends on when the resurgence happens and when the trend dies out.

Scream breathed new life into the slasher genre just like the Conjuring series and insidious have brought supernatural horror back from near extinction. Though taste matters in the long run they're have been plenty of good modern horror films you just got to look.

>VHS 1 and 2.

Faggot teen opinion discarded

Ben Hur remake
ghost in the shell 2017
skull island
flatliners 2017
transformers last knight

There wasn't anything particularly complex user, it was just a very well made movie. No one is trying to trick you.

>I don't like/understand/appreciate the vvitch

pleb filter is still working.

I agree with this.

no thats a differetn movie and its call village

>. I hated it back when it came out
You were still in nappies faggot.

You do realize that "well made" is just a synonym for "well shot", "good performances" and other arguments that are really only platitudes if the movie doesn't deliver anything beyond being "well done".

A steak can be well done as well, doesn't mean I'll sit there and stare at it for 2 hours.

The VVitch made me realize how fucking scary the wilderness was back in the day.

nah, I was 11

VVitches aren't real user

Brainlet detected. Go back to Michael Bay films.

if the movie evolved to a shining-esque rampage with the father at the end it would have been one of my favorite movies of all time

call me a pleb or whatever, it's a shame

>It would be better if they never showed the witch
Fuck off, the witch kissing the boy was the best part of the film. My dick went from flaccid to hard in a second.

>I just want to see her fuck somebody
That's the devil speaking. Behave, user.

Yeah, that's not my point. People back then really did fear the wilderness. Some considered it evil

>Ignore the pretense and you'll see the same old stupid horror building blocks, including fake jump scares. Spent the movie hoping that the twist would be that there were no monsters at all so the movie could at least have a point to it, as lame and predictable of a point as that would be.
So you were expecting another Atheism is great, fuck god and fuck white people movie?

Fuck off and kill yourself

When the goat went all out on the family it was pure kino

so like he said, nappies.

Do you ever get tired of being a moron?

Is there anything going on in your head other than shit you picked up on Sup Forums?

he is right, you are a commie

Exorcist II was well shot and performed well, I've never heard anyone refer to it as "well done"

all I'm asking is for a tiny bit of creativity with these comebacks. Just something that doesn't sound like a half-assed bot.

i thought it was really boring
>MUH ATMOSPHERE

>no denying
commiefuck, no one cares what you ask for

>muh opinion should be basis for quality bawwwww

pretentious gasbag (You)

>>nothing happens
i don't even know what movie this is but this is the quintessential pleb criticism of movies

Waaaaaah, It's a movie that I have to pay attention to understand, instead of twittering on my facebook for two hours! Waaaaaah!

You're embarrassing yourself reddit.

>back in the day.
How long do you think you would last in the wilderness today user?

Fucking pleb.

Well it depends but my psychology is different from the pilgrims.

It Follows is one of the few modern horror movies that have actually scared me in my adult years

I'm still mad they cut the part where Thomassin consummated her pact with black Phillip.

Wait are you pulling my leg or was that really in the script?

It probably wouldn't be far from it after a couple of days isolated in the middle of nowhere

mostly because humans caused a mass extinction on all fauna across the world. Back in the 800-1100 the forests would be trimming with animals

>the forests would be trimming with animals
>trimming

le sigh
goback2school, illiterate donkey

Yeah but see, I know what to do in a survival scenario. The point I'm trying to make is that people back in the day saw the wilderness as evil. I mean shit, the witches in this movie lived off deep in the wilderness.

oh stfu and go watch IT in theaters again

It's hard to pay attention to anything, because almost nothing of substance happens. It has its own set of clichés, and anybody who decries mediocre horror films filled with jump scares and loud noises is a hypocrite who puts themselves on a pedestal for "having such good taste".

It is not a bad movie. But it is substanceless and devoid of anything resembling an interesting plot with intelligent themes. Slow+religion+well-shot!=great perforce.

At least the new IT had great drama and interesting characters.

it's the best remake so far: the post-9/11 Hocus Pocus

>handsome boy dead
>slut lives and eats delicious things

relentlessly awful movie

You're talking utter shit faggot

Embarrassing

Nigga countless fairy tales are cautionary tales about the dangers of the wilderness by showcasing countless acts of evil. It isn't absurd for people to believe that the wilderness was evil back then.

Such a horrible movie. I started to think of it as a Svengoolie movie just so I could enjoy it.

Never listening to suggestions again.