Jude Law

>Jude Law
>doesn't actually follow Jewish laws

After seeing Young Pope I'm not sure that's true

>Denzel Washington
>his den's in Baltimore, not washington

>Christian Bale
>Is actually a non religious human

>Harrison Ford
>he doesn't own a Ford

fuk me

BUMP
THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS

you ruined it

>his harr isnt on

>Kevin Spacey
>he actually sucks cock and loves twinks

>Mel Gibson
>probably doesn’t even play guitar

>Colm Meaney
>actually is a bit of a dickhead

He does have a hairy son though.

>Tom Hardy
>Is 70% water

>Ryan Gosling
>Isn't a baby goose

>Clint Eastwood
>most of his films are set in the western plains

If Jude Law was a drinking utensil, he'd be Jude Straw.

>Sam Hyde
>Can be easily spotted

>Tom Sizemore
>He's not even a big guy

>Arnold Schwarzenegger
>isn't actually a Black-Nigger

If Harrison Ford had an oesophageal motility reflux disorder, he'd be Harrison GORD

>Sean Connery
>He's actually an honest man

>Michael Fassbender
>has yet to defeat the firelord

FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Doesnt make sense, his names not denzin. Use your noodle cuck boy

...

>Shia Labeouf
>doesn't live in the Shire, is in no way beefy

>Armie Hammer
>Hasn't joined the military, nor is he a hammer

he couldn't keep getting away with it

>Peter Dinklage
Is actually caucasian

>Matthew Broderick
>actually didn't go to jail for murdering two people and destroying the lives of their family forever

>Finn Wolfhard
>Is actually a Canadian human who is pretty soft.

[citation needed]

>Shia Labeouf
>n'est pas connu pour excréter sa nourriture

>Sam Neill
>actually has bad knees

>who is pretty soft.

How do you know? Did you molest him too Weinstein?

>Robert Deniro
>His wife took all the money

>doesn't consist of a block of hay
fucking false advertising

>Benicio Del Toro
>is a human being with no relations to a bull

That would have been amazing, I share your pain

>Dustin Hoffman
>he's not dust nor in a human named Hoffman

>Paul Walker
>is more known for driving than walking

>Morgan Freeman
>Is black

He's also known for bad driving too.

>Joaquin Phoenix
>hasn't reborn yet, especially not in Arizona

he wasn't at the wheel m'dude

>Don Cheadle
>not the head of an Italian crime syndicate

>John Hurt
>can't even feel pain any more

>Christoph Waltz
>not a dancer

>Robert Downey, Jr.
>doesn't wear robes more than usual, grows hair from his skin instead of feathers

>Sean Bean
Isn't an edible nutritious seed

>James Woods
>not even a single tree in the horizon

>Jack Black
>Doesn't have dark skin

these are actually Jewish irl

>Jeff Bridges
>doesn't arch over a damn thing

>His father's name isn't Harry

How do I get hair like his? I've seen people my age look like Hugh Laurie

>Jack Nicholson
>none of his parents were called Nichol

One can assume one of his ancestors was the son of Nichol in order for him to have that surname

>Michelle Pfeiffer
>has never played the fife

genes
or female hormones that ruin your dick and expensive, painful surgery
life is shit

>Idris Elba
>not a river in Italy

>Mark Wahlberg

Isn't a mark on a Jewish wall

Even if you could prove it, can you blame me?

>Anne Hathaway
>Has a way with what?

>Reese Witherspoon

>Will Smith
>absolutely no guarantee if he ever starts doing it

Unrelated host

>Robert Deniro
>has zero pesos

>Wesley Snipes
>this pic is the proof he doesn't actually do it 24/7

why did I laugh at this like an idiot?

>Natalie Portman
>not a port, not a man

>Naomi Watts
>Lives in Hollywood

I'd dock in her port if you catch my drift

>not actually retarded

>lived in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

>Emma Stone
>is a homo sapiens instead of a piece of rock

>James Caan
>all his business deals are legitimate

>Jean Seberg
>Couldn't save the Titanic

>Colin Firth
>not a narrow inlet of the sea in Scotland

>Miles Teller
>6′ 0″

kek'd

>Marlon Brando
>never worked in marketing

>Kevin Bacon
>Is made of human, not pig

>Brad Bird
>Can't fly

...

>not a peanut butter and chocolate confection
>not an enchanted spoon with the power of anti-life

>Reese Witherspoon
>Spoon isn't droopy at all

The nose could have fooled me.

>Taylor Swift
>Mentally slow

>Edward Furlong
>has no visible fur in any length

>doesn't help to represent a function through the sum of an infinite amount of terms

FOR YOU

>Nicholas Cage
>incapable of keeping anything captive inside of himself

...

Marvellous.

>Brian Blessed
>... okay wait.

>ruth negga
>nvm

Topkek. This is the best one.

underrated