>she says "yeah, I like SpongeBob I guess" instead of saying "yes I absolutely love SpongeBob and it is my favorite show of all time bar none, but only seasons 1-3, NOT the seasons afterwards!" emphatically (especially the last part)
>she can't immediately respond (under 5 seconds) with the season and episode number containing the quote you just recited
>if you show her a cropped still image from an episode she's not capable of naming the name of the episode it's from
>she can't tell the season by SpongeBob's voice (with NO visuals to assist)
>she doesn't watch at least one episode of SpongeBob per day
>she doesn't regularly pause the episodes to ask if the other viewers caught that brilliant bit of writing/joke, and if they didn't, she doesn't proceed to explain it to them
>she doesn't know who wrote and storyboarded each episode
>if you name an episode she can't name what year it originally aired
>she does not own a single piece of SpongeBob underwear
>she does not regularly dream about SpongeBob returning to its former glory
>she does not reference SpongeBob in every day life whenever the situation calls for it
>she cannot replicate the SpongeBob laugh, as it differed from season to season (1 through 3 only), pitch perfectly
>if someone talks or makes noise while an episode is being watched she doesn't get extremely angry and tell them to shut up and rewind it to watch that part again if it's not a live broadcast
>if it is a live broadcast in such a situation she does not turn off the cable box and launch the video of that episode on her computer and skip to the part that was interrupted and watch it from there
>she doesn't get extremely annoyed and condescending when you accidentally make a mistake with something regarding SpongeBob trivia and correct you on the issue and make sure you never make that mistake again
>she doesn't confront people aggressively when she sees them watching a newer episode of SpongeBob
Women make me sick
