What exactly are the requirements to pass the penis inspection?

What exactly are the requirements to pass the penis inspection?
You guys always say that you failed them but never say why

Depends on the inspectors grip strength

>too small
>too much foreskin

the two main reasons

The penis has to be at least 10 inches and black

I didn't wash it for three weeks. You can imagine the spanking I got.

the penis has to be clean and needs to become fully erect in less than 12 seconds

what if the inspector isn't hot?

The penis has to be feminine

then you have to close your eyes and think of something quickly

depends of the cinema. Big ones have well trained inspectors so it's quick, not painful and easier

>be gay
>penis inspector always is a woman
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

My penis wasn't pink enough, needless to say I was escorted out of the building quickly.

>tfw you can't even get past the no-singles policy
I once tried to walk in holding a coat of my mother. I bought two tickets and said my girlfriend would be coming soon. They said I had to wait until she arrives so I waited for 10 minutes, then pretended to get call from her and left.

Too much dickcheese.

thats tough times user :(
in school a girl once made me believe she wanted to go with me to the cinema. While i was standing in line to buy the tickets she was standing behind me, but before i got to the counter she had snuck out the entrance without me noticing. When the cashier asked me where my "requiered female accompaniment" was i opened my mouth, turned around only to stare at an old fat guy with his wife. I tried to explain but they only said "Sure, buddy, she just vanished, hmmm?" and kicked me out in the dirty snow

I always just think of Henry Cavill and Chris Evans making out. Works every time.

My dick is really, really, really small and really, really, really stinky

>size
>smell
>cleanliness
>coloration
>skin softness
>ability to get and maintain an erection
>ability to climax
>pubic hair grooming
>aesthetics of veins and foreskin

>tfw fordice spots prominently visible when erect
i have always passed but i hate the dissaproval in the inspectors eyes

>that feel when the inspector tells you they will need to inspect ability to climax and she is really cute

Just B. E. yourself