/trek/

Barclay a qt. A QT! edition

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Im half a season into voyager ands draining. Does it get any better? Or can someone post the VOY viewing guide?
Also Torres > Kes

Cochrane was such an odd character. I'm surprised they even worked with him.
>spike his drink with a sedative
>fix up his rocket
>throw him in it
>hit ignition
>job done.

>bynar
>binary

Oh fuck you, I can't believe I only just got that.

The official Voyager guide ends after Threshold and I know of no other. This site has the reviews of all the episodes tho:
ex-astris-scientia.org/

I sort of expected after seeing him that his prototype was never supposed to fly and it was always the enterprise who made it possible. Causality loops ftw!

oh, and here's the guide anyways, if you just wanna have it.

Good enough!

LMAO

>Picard is making us watch old people porn again
working on the Enterprise-D was hell sometimes, especially when Picard was off his meds

I enjoy Threshold and I'm sick of this meme that's it's literally the worst thing ever, it's just obnoxious 'lol I said the thing' tier at this point.

I'll agree that a good chunk of the episode isn't that bad and Paris had some great prosthetics going on there, but the fact that they decided to take the storyline from the more obvious (and less idiotic)
>well we can use Warp 10 but it'll be hard to control where we end up and also it will fuck us up to an extent that even our doctor can't fix us so we can't use it
to the more retarded
>and then Tom kidnaps Janeway and they turn into lizards and have babies and then they leave the babies on some planet and Tuvok and Chakotay just quip about it and later the EMH easily fixes them and Tom and Janeway laugh it off oh and this huge potential that can apparently be easily fixed by our holographic Doctor is never mentioned again
is the reason people hate the episode.

I must defend the honor of mai waifu! Ohkneegagh showmass!

Threshold is batshit, but it's batshit that you can make fun of. I'll take it any day over something like The Outrageous Okana or any of those stupid episodes with Janeway puttering around some Irish village

oh, sure, I completely agree, I was just pointing out why it's truly shit. But yeah, compared to many other episodes it does have its charm of being at least interestingly shit, especially when you haven't seen it before, but know from all the talk online that it'll get bullshit in the last half.

schisms - tng is the GREATEST episode of trek prove me wrong

Off the top of my head, the following episodes exist that are objectively superior
* Duet
* In The Pale Moonlight
* Our Man Bashir
* The Ensigns of Command
* Who Watches the Watchers
* Deja Q
* Cause and Effect
* Yesterday's Enterprise
* The Inner Light

Night night commander

reeeeee

I've been planning on starting to watch Star Trek, should I begin with Star Trek The Next Generation?

yes. Watch TNG, then DS9, then stop there.

Sure, but be aware season 1 is pretty bad. Season 2 is hit and miss.

This is advanced autism.

>Star Trek gets its first on-screen gay couple
>it's two lisping stereotypes
>they're also interracial
hehhhhhhhhh

Because of Data's poem, right?

I find it hard to choose any TNG episode over The Inner Light, but I guess it is mostly because that sort of beautifully tragic scenario is just appealing to me.

#notmygaybrowndoctor

yup, that's usually the best place to start. After TNG watch DS9. After that it's up to you. Many would tell you to go directly to Voyager, but I dodn't enjoy it so I can't really suggest it right after DS9. Give TOS a try, it's old and cheesy, but if you can get past that, it's really enjoyable. After that, depending on whether you watched VOY earlier or not, watch that and then ENT.

As for the movies, there are several orders to go in, but I just watched the TNG movies after finishing TNG and the TOS movies after finishing TOS. You can ofc watch them in release order whenever, or try to match them up to when they take place parallel to the shows.

>tfw garak steals bashir away

Start with TOS, give it 4 episodes + the pilot
If it's not to your tastes jump to TNG and only watch the good rated episodes from season 1 and 2 then proceed from season 3
If you don't like it either jump to DS9 season 1
If that too isn't for you try ENT

Hello, Captain, can you hear me? It's me, Ensign Clem Fandango down in engineering.

What did Janeway do to earn her admiralty?

Defeat the borg?

>Give TOS a try, it's old and cheesy, but if you can get past that, it's really enjoyable.
I put off watching TOS for years expecting it to be like the cartoon version of it you always see represented, but some of the first and second season episodes are truly fucking great, it surprised me. Like a proper exploration of the sorts of fresh and pulpy sci-fi from around that time, not mired in technobabble and lore as happened in the later incarnations.

The thing you really have to get past in TOS is the amount of scenarios that can be summed up as:
>omnipotent godlike being uses his incredible power to recreate an era from Earth's history using all the props and costumes that are conveniently available from the next studio over

but that was future Janeway

fuck off hipster

Yes, I can hear you, Ensign.

Matt Berry should have been Mudd.

Can't prove that.

I was surprised how much of it's reputation is really exaggerated and inaccurate.

god fucking damn it, how did I not notice

...

>omnipotent godlike being uses his incredible power to recreate an era from Earth's history using all the props and costumes that are conveniently available from the next studio over
oh yeah, it's kinda ridiculous how often that happens. Like I get why, they could only do so much with their budget (over 25+ episodes), but this shit happened too often. Not always unenjoyable ofc, but still.
>Like a proper exploration of the sorts of fresh and pulpy sci-fi from around that time
yeah, that's very refreshing to watch. I was also suprised how much TOS managed to hit me in the feels. When I first watched City on the Edge of Tomorrow, I expected it to be a really solid sci-fi story, but then the whole romance between Kirk and Joan Collins was so beautifully done and ended so tragically. I didn't expect that, but it was great. When TOS was good, it was really good.

Yeah, the normie pop culture image of TOS (that becomes the basis for the JJ movies which is why they're shit) is totally wrong.
It's not all "lol Kirk punches people, fucks green chicks and disobeys orders xDD"

>Matt Berry should have been Mudd.
Would be plausible too, he's been doing voice acting in American cartoons lately.

Why did Romulans go from sexy and beautiful in the TMP and TOS era to Goth Vulcans wearing like BDSM gimp outfits with stupid pointy fringes in TNG era?

Aren't Romulans supposed to be more deeply emotional, artistic, arts focused etc than Humans? (Romulus we're told is prized for it's beautiful gardens, art and architecture) Why do they all look the same in TNG era beyond then?

dailydot.com/parsec/star-trek-discovery-voq-javid-iqbal/

Chance is he's Voq.

UNF

I'm a Star Trek New Fag *aside for the Films*
I'm F'n loving TNG.

It seems especially true of the Red Shirts. There are a few episodes where they're dropping like flies, but on the whole they're not the cannon fodder they're made out to be.

Did you think it was a coincidence Garak interrupted Bashir right as he was about to get it on?

Garak probably had this planned for months.

He had to make Bashir a tuxedo, ask what it was for, Bashir had to tell him, then he had to figure out what times Bashir was in a holosuite, put on a matching tuxedo he handmade for himself, and break into the holosuite possibly by threatening Quark with his life to let him in.

If that isn't love I don't know what is.

>Made first contact with hundreds of species, potentiating expansion of the Federation into the Delta Quadrant
>Returned to the alpha quadrant with crucial tactical data and weapons, allowing all Starfleet to bolster it's defenses against the Borg.
>Prevented a galaxy-wide holocaust being planned by Species 8472
>Played a crucial role in the destruction of a Borg Transwarp Hub
>Returned to the alpha quadrant with quantum slipstream technology that allowed Voyager to cross 10 000 light years in a matter of hours.

...

>and break into the holosuite possibly by threatening Quark with his life to let him in.
The dude has a code that lets him get through any door in the event of an emergency, you think he can't figure out a way into one of Quark's holosuites?

Bajoran posters... your attention please. You must post your favorite episode immediately or I will be forced to release neurocine gas into your chambers. Consider your episode selection carefully, posting a bad episode will force me to release neurocine gas as well. You have five minutes.

>You have five minutes

Sub Rosa

First Sloan episode?
uhhh uhhh AHHHHGHGHGH NO DUKAT I...

The Visitor

Based

lol idk, let's go with Chain of Command II

Balance of Terror

...

The episode where Bareil gets his brains scrambled so Kai Winn can finish her negotiations with a cardassian?

THE ONE IN WHICH YOU FUCKED THE MAJORS MOTHER GUL DUKAT SIR

Is it bad that I'm liking DS9 more than TNG?

It's a common opinion around here, you are not special in the least.

>tfw no busty mature ugly midget gf

Guess I don't come here enough because I always figured everyone liked TNG more.

TNG is the least liked here
This is the official /trek/ ranking so you can stop embarrassing yourself next time:
DS9 = ENT > TOS > VOY > TNG

TNG is just considered the best identifier for what Trek really is at its core. DS9 may be better as a series, but it's doing something slightly different.

Ah okay. Thank you for clearing that up.

>ugly

What was she really doing here?

Someone here asked whether Riker was a chad earlier.

I think this OC answers that question.

Not as good as this one

...

>ywn make him make those orgasm sounds

>the Riker Manoeuvre
Holy fuck yes, that is far superior

I duno I sort of like it more. There are more Trek references in it.

>purposefully created ENT on the holodeck

Made me kek.

>Steamrolled by Klingons in a day
>"Respected Empire"
Only in your own mind, spoonhead.

I was playing the first episode where Kira and that bajoran priest guy hook up and my back was turned while doing other shit and all I could hear was him noisily mouthing Kira's face
>OOHHHMM HHHOMM HHHMM SLURP HHMMM

He ain't fat, bruh. Just a lil thicc.

It's 10am and the sun is about to rise over Anchorage, Alaska. He caught you on the turbolift, grabbed you by the waist, insisted that you spend your two weeks of shore leave with him, and whispered 'That's an order Ensign' as the coarse hair of his beard tickled at the nape of your neck. You said yes long before you ever reached Deck 10.

So here you are in a bed on Earth piled with marbled brown fox fur and flannel sheets. It's ten degrees outside and you are wearing nothing but one of his old shirts that he outgrew and a pair of underwear, but right now you've never felt so warm.

Your head is tucked just under his chin, and you can clearly smell the soap he uses for his beard because he insists on grooming it the old fashioned way. He is barechested and you can feel yourself sink into him. Absentmindedly you start lazily running your fingers across a particularly plump little roll that has formed just at the waistband of his pajama pants.

"What time is it?" he asks groggily into your forehead.

Despite everything in your body telling you no, you push away, bare feet hitting the cold wooden floor sending chills straight up your back.

"Go back to bed, Will" you say kissing him on the crown of head making his already disheveled hair more even more unruly in the process. "I have to start making breakfast."

...

MAJor, I beLIEVE I have TOLD you beFORE, my DAY does not START。 unTIL I have my RAktaJINO
*stands with arms pressed firmly to sides leaning forward slightly and head twitching*
*face slowly breaks into slow teeth-baring smile*

>mommy crusher will never sit entranced by a game while you quietly explore her body

Give me ONE(1) reason why Sisko isn't the best character.

>Purposefully created Star Trek: Enterprise

Got a chuckle out of that one.

I tend to agree with Julian on this one.

>you will never be this comfy
;___;

>ywn be jake sisko and get hit on by the cute black girl from saved by the bell

it's an abstract and black space kid sort of fEEl

>chief engineer
>season one visor

It feels like the Rikerposting has slowly shifted from him eating and stuffing his face to him being tired, late for work, groggy, puffy eyes, hungover brand of Rikerposting.

I tend to remedy this in the next thread.

I rike sleepy, vulnerable, lazy fat Riker, but I look forward to what you have to offer, user

I-is that.. a prince forcing Pepe to give him oral gratification?

oh god please stop i can't take the tfw no bf I used to have a bf so this hits even harder
btw i'm a dude

In the future Wojak x Pepe fanfiction is considered a classic subgenre of Earth literature

Is it okay if I'm attracted to Jane-way?

I'm trying to experiment more as a creepy fetish writer. Really try to step out of my comfort zone.

Post things you want to see get gritty and edgy redesigns in Discovery.

No more goofy Ferengi.