Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend.
Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his dad...
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Why would he need to tell all of this to Luke?
>he ate the stale pasta
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the porgs?
>Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes
kek
The part where the robot somehow buys the bugs always gets me
Luke I know i just disappeared when i died but seriously that lightsaber will maim the fuck out of you watch out. i was a good friend.
Was he talking to Bigger Luke when he said this?
Luke, did I ever tell you about dengar's dump truck?
No it was Luuke.
>this meme still exists
Come on, Sup Forums. Don't be Sup Forums tier.
>luke did i ever tell you your dad built a full functional robot to help his mom when he was just 10 years old? Although he worked as a slave most of the time. He also build a pod raver on his own and even won the famous bunta eve race with it, remember luke, he was still just 10. Not to forget, he ended a whole war be destroying the opponents leader ship all ALONE, with a fighter jet he stole. And even when everyone was against him because he was too old, he became the most powerful jedi of all and even the youngest jedi to be a part of the jedi council. He probably saved doents of planets and my life for countless times. He even got your mom, a 9/10 queen/senator gf. Even when i betrayed him and chopped his arms and legs off, he became the boss of the whole imperial fleet.
and you luke? what have you accomplished? you moon rats shooting piece of shit, you are a bad friend
Fuck you I was just about to make this joke.
>then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs
Every time I lose it here
>Luke, I have to tell you something. It's going to be rough on you, but you deserve to know. Have you ever heard of Darth Vader? One of the Empire's top enforcers? Tall man in a black suit? You may have seen him in holonews stories.
>He is... your father, Luke.
>I thought about keeping this from you Luke, but that wouldn't be right. You trust me completely, and you deserve to know. It would be absurd for me to hide something like that, especially since I know you want to go fight the Empire and expose yourself to all kinds of danger. No, it would be ridiculous for me to let you do that without filling you in on everything I know, to the best of my ability. Especially given that feeling betrayed and left out can be a path to the dark side.
>Yes, it's obviously best that you know this about your father, Luke. It would not be in keeping with my character to hide it from you.
>They are force sensitive beings,natives of Anch-To
>Luke,did I ever tell you about the Prequel haters?
>Luke did I ever tell you that if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight? She was a good friend.
Fuck you buddy
Kill yourself
*n* baka user
What about Reey or Poo or Fiin
Luke, I see you're trying to blow up the death star but you need to bulls-eye a target about the size of a wamp-rat back in Beggar's Canyon. When you father was in a similar situation when he was a little boy and he destroyed an entire army by blowing up a ship without leaving his cockpit, he tried spinning. You should try spinning. It's a good trick.Your father loudly declared that it was working, it was working. Or was that another time? Either way, it will be just like pod racing. It was a good friend.
damn it, my boss saw me laughing.
rtrtdr
Luke, did I ever tell you about Luuke Skywalker? He was a genetic clone of you that was grown from cells extracted from the hand you lost during your duel with the Dark Lord Darth Vader on Cloud City. Your hand and lightsaber were recovered by Vader and taken to Emperor Sheev's Mount Tantiss storehouse on the planet Wayland. In 9 ABY, the insane clone Jedi Master Joruus C'baoth performed a mind trick on Imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn's subordinate, Captain Gilad Pellaeon, ordering him to make a special clone for him. The clone that later became Luuke Skywalker was grown in secret from sample B-2332-54, the sorting code assigned to your hand. The clone was grown in a Spaarti cloning cylinder over the period of less than a month. When he was ready, the clone was given Jedi training by C'baoth and over time became Luuke Skywalker.
r
Also Luke, did I ever tell you about your other clone, Luuuke Skywalker? He was a clone of you created by Grand Admiral Thrawn to serve as his agent in the galactic community, which the Admiral controlled secretly using a legion of clones to replace prominent people. After warding off the Lost Tribe of Sith, Luuke Skywalker, retired after serving Thrawn. Luuke was replaced summarily with Luuuke, who inherited duties as the Grand Master of the New Jedi Order and a significant political persona. Luuuke would go on to assemble a Clone Army comprised of the copies whom Thrawn had made over the decades. Working with another clone, Streeen, Luuuke devised a time machine that he used to attack the galaxy during the Clone Wars.
They were both good friends.
Ah luke dont forget when faced with a sith apprentice the best thing to do is abandon your friends and leave a female student on a desert planet by herself. You see luke while this sith apprentice may be waging war this child will soon collect enough midichlorians in her vagina to learn all there is about the force. She'll even learn how to do that nifty mind trick that took you three movies to do. Even though you may have abandoned your friends in their time of need take solace in the eventual balance of the force luke. Only vaginas can save the day luke..
damn he looks super jewish now
Luke did I ever tell you about how I sent your sister to live a life of luxury as a princess whilst I sent you to live on some backwater desert planet as a dirt poor farmer? It proved to be a great strategy as your father greatly detested sand and wouldn't ever step foot on this planet for as long as he lived. I am a good guardian.
Really like this one
kek
Also he sent Luke to a close relative who was also named Skywalker. And in the manner of a good friend Obi-wan lived close by.
fuck you
It’s better than any currently popular meme on this board. Prove me wrong.
Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you enough clairvoyance to find the rebels' hidden fortress.
Sure I was in my early twenties during the Clone Wars and considering my rank most likely fought in them and can personally remember when thousands of Jedi were using their devotion to that ancient religion to mega flip and magically conjure up shit all over the galaxy as intergalactic sorcerer cops. Hell, I even remember when the Jedi were an officially recognized political organization whose headquarter was located in a gigantic government building on the capital planet across the street from the Intergalactic Senate where the Jedi were called upon by the Senate frequently to use their mystical sorceress powers to lend aid in conflicts and political issues but that won't stop me from being dismissive of the existence of supernatural powers!
Luke's mother died in child birth tho D:
this one is good. I always think about that
Seriously, how fucking dumb are prequel defenders? Lucas had 15 years to write the prequels and this is what he came up with.
Yes, Disney Wars is shit. Yes, the prequels have more soul. No, the prequels are not good Star Wars movies.
>Luuuke
I thought this was a meme. No fucking way could shit like this be real but it actually is. Fuck star wars.
What's worse is that character is from the highest rated and most popular series of Star Wars books.
This was Obi Wan talking to newborn Luke. Obviously he didn't reply.
it's actually quite embarrassing that the soulless fanservice crapped out by the disney machine is objectively better than the prequels...
>Still Waiting for TFA edition.
The Jedi had a fucking temple on Coruscant, how did they just become a myth.
But he never says that Vader has no powers, just that his powers are useless.
As for the Jedi, the entire order was wiped out in a few hours. It's hard to take them seriously after that.
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RLM can not recover from this. The general public has rejected their cynical, pedestrian, and flimsy 'critiques' of the prequels and is able to recognize beauty, sincerity, and heart in the unusual form they took in those movies.
I wouldn't say objectively better, myself. I actually like the prequels more than the Disney stuff. At least the prequels have Lucas paying homage to / ripping off old school epics and have some interesting moments. But yes, they are shit. Absolutely absurd continuity problems and character development, plus dumb decisions that make the universe seem smaller, like Anakin having built C3PO.
The main problem with the prequels is that they look like hot garbage visually though
Anyone who cares about the story is a manchild since the original star wars flicks had terrible plots
Hmm. That's a good point, actually.
...
>unusual form
You mean bad filmmaking?
>Anyone who cares about the story is a manchild since the original star wars flicks had terrible plots
No, the original Star Wars had mediocre plots. Which is a lot better than the prequels, which had garbage plots.
i am 90% sure that disney initiated an enormous PR campaign to try and make the prequels cool again since they were going to acquire a huge IP and they wanted to make sure that every last piece of it was as profitable as possible.
like that subreddit /r/prequelmemes. i'm pretty sure it started with disney shills to get the ball rolling, but now it has enough momentum that it moves on its own now.
you have to remember that people in their early 20s were the same age when the prequels came out as most of the oldfags when empire and jedi came out. nostalgia hits hard and it's incomprehensible to people who weren't there at the time
HOly fucking shit both Luuke and Luuuke are a real fucking thing in Star Wars holy fucking fuck I thought Sup Forums was just being a fucking meme
You're a bad friend.
...
>me and your father were guarding
He's a Shakespearean actor and English Knight, you grammar-ignorant fuck.