*Inhales*

*Inhales*

>even the director is slamming it
Damn.

*exhales*

I still have high hopes for Alfredsson, he should never have gotten involved in this shit.

The killer's identity isn't a mystery. They reveal it pretty early on.

What is his problem

it's a shame because Northern thrillers are top comfy
also using Massive Attack in the trailer was pretty good

Maybe that's the problem.

...

>*Inhales*
When will this meme die?

>TFW to intelligent for basic human reactions

WE'RE WALKING IN THE AIR

*exhales*

*Inhales
*breathes in

*inhales*

When will Fassbender actually be in a good movie?

Really? Got a link?

I don't know man, his career is totally tanking while he was going to be the GOAT in 2012

what about 'Shame'?

nevermind

*Breathe the pressure*

>bestselling source material
whoa a BESTSELLER? a BESTSELLING BOOK?

and you're telling me it's drivel?!! it SQUANDERS the opportunity it's given to brilliantly adapt "bestseller" absolute fucking airport novel drivel? say it isn't so!!!!!

*impales*

>Making a movie out of a book my literal 55 year old dad enjoys

literally why? You know books get lost in movie translations. The people who enjoy the book wont be enjoying the movie. And the people who wants to watch the movie will expect some Hollywood blowout.
What's even worse is that my government paid for this movie to be made. Like they missed out on literally free publicity when they wanted to film Lord of the Rings and Vikings, but then they go out and fund this piece of shit.

BREATHE WITH ME

>Grown man enjoys book
>This is bad
What? Is he retarded in some other way?

he unironically didn't enjoy Mad Max: Fury Road

Once you're past the age of 35 you are no longer able to appreciate art that challenges you and settle into mindlessly consuming pandering pleb trash.

is this the first bad movie with Fassbender?

>Insomnia
>Let the right one in
>Dragon Tatoo trilogy
>Dragon Tatoo Fincher version
What are some other movies like this?

forgetting about assassin's creed or x-men apocalypse? or alien covenant?

lotr and vikings isn't in (modern) norway, but that book is. they can show off oslo and whatever. the story takes place in norway and in their mind that = more tourism bux. that's what they said anyway.

>lotr isn't in (modern) norway
really?

Also, I know their purpose was to bring in tourism with this movie, which is why it's ironic that they didnt allow LOTR to be made in Norway. Which is literally hiking and landscape porn. People visit New Zealand purely to LOTR locations.

i meant vikings, i assume some might take place in norway. i don't know, haven't seen it.

Wtf I actually wanted to see this.
Was it really that bad?

Or Prometheus. Or Steve Jobs. Or Slow West. Or The Counselor. Or Centurion. Or Jonah Hex. Or 300.

>The Counselor.
>inb4 AKSHUALLY IT'S SEVERALLY UNDERRATED

>The Counselor
it's fucking underrated, you're a pleb

Fucking hell.

Is this the worst reviewed movie by top critics?

He should be in the next IT, he's perfect for Ben Hascom.

i'll pretend this was no deliberate

>prometheus
>300

>bad

Learn to form your own opinions memester.

What a waste. Who the fuck picks this guys roles for him? He needs to fire them. He should be able to land any role he wants but he's continuously in garbage.

Best thing about the movie was the drone shots of snowy landscape. It was also the only good part. This movie sucked so hard.

His agent fucking sucks or Fassbender as good an actor he is, has no idea what a good script looks like.

He seems like he's completely dedicated to his own craft, which means he never goes out and watches movies and so he can't judge a script to save his life.

His best role is unironically Magneto.

Can anyone dispute this?

...

>0%
Wow, I guess the first 10 or so didn't like it.
>28 reviews

this is like fassbender's eighth huge bomb in a row right? rip his career

David in Prometheus and Prometheus 2 is a legitimately cool character. He's wasted on that shitty aliens spinoff. Should've been a movie about an android finding out its place in the world a la Ex Machina.

Assbender is objectively shit

Completely true. That doesn't mean they're stupid, but old people legitimately have no taste. My father went to see the Dark Tower and liked it so much he snuck into two more showings afterwards and watched it again

I fear what lies in my future.

Assassin's Creed, 300, The Counselor, Slow West and Centurion are all good movies

> Shit

Massive book series. A list cast. Top shelf crew and writers.

Something went down behind the scenes though.

Scorsese walked from the project. Kilmer got sick and theynhad to dub and CG him because they weren't allowed reshoots even though Kilmer is in a separate flashback storyline and Alfredson said they had to leave a crucial 15 pages of screemplay unshot.

>Assbender
why weren't these depicted in Avatar?

Why does every single book get to be called a best seller

Because there are tons of different qualifications and publications that determine a bestseller. You could write a 20 page novella about gay cyborg clowns and self-publish it on Amazon, and as long as one person bought it you could be labelled a bestseller because technically yeah, you do have the bestselling gay cyborg clown novella in the world.

Anyone who couldn't see this coming is a pleb. The trailer was your typical generic mystery thriller.

Michael Fassbender is a good actor, but he has a gift when it comes to choosing terrible movies.

Jo Nesbo is one of the most popular pulp writers right now. He's almost does Dan Brown numbers.

>My father went to see the Dark Tower and liked it so much he snuck into two more showings afterwards and watched it again

That's very unsettling...

>tfw you grow old and suddenly love watching tv sitcom trash

Does the part of the brain corresponding with taste degrade so quickly with age?

He's been good in all of Mcqueens stuff
Shame is his best movie and best role

Smilla's Sense of Snow. It's super weird.

Oh that's good to know, someone spoiled it for me a while ago and I thought "Welp, guess I don't get to see this movie." Looks like I will after all, because I like Fassbender and I don't give a fuck what the critics say since they are wrong 99% of the time and the 1% of the time they are right it is only by sheer luck.

It totally does, bro
I'm 30 now, and I'm starting to notice that I can't enjoy art movies or complex novels as much as when I was 20

No, you just start to realize that all your preconceived notions are idiotic and that life is meant to be enjoyed not fretted over.

/meme

Except the movie ISN'T generic mystery pleb.

People were expecting, and should have got a generic mystery flick (though well made) like Dragon Tattoo.

Instead this is some kind of The Room tier disaster.

They literally have a central character whose mouth is CG'd in and dubbed over by a random person whose voice doesn't even remotely match the actor.

This.

Although it's not that I can't...it's that I don't WANT to. Work and wife an all the rest of it leaves me drained. All I want to do is put on some low IQ garbage that I know I will fall asleep through halfway.

i wanna nut on her face desu

Steve Jobs and 300 are good.

You probably didn't watch the full show

I remember back when people used to say he was just cashing quick checks before going back to being in good movies. Now more than half of his filmography is garbage.

Holy shit now I wanna watch this

...

Do people really appreciate stuff at 20? I was still deep in my quantity phase and mostly unresponsive to subtle stuff. Also tons of artists work past 30+ so it has to be a meme

I know nothing about the story but from the trailer it's like a serious crime thriller about a serial killer who makes snowmen out of his victims?

The premise seems too silly if it's going to take itself seriously.

ALL MY LADYBUGS AND ALL MY CLINGONS

>They literally have a central character whose mouth is CG'd in and dubbed over by a random person whose voice doesn't even remotely match the actor.
Pls be true

Abstract/lateral reasoning decreases with age.

Bleak Snowcore? Wind River

>implying Shame is a good movie
The wait continues...

All of Val Kilmer's dialogue was dubbed by a guy who sounds nothing like Val Kilmer.

Is Val still bloated?

doesnt he have tongue cancer?

...

That's why they dubbed him. His tongue was swollen from cancer treatment and he couldn't deliver any of his lines. Rather than recast the part they decided to do this.

>TFW watching fender bender flush his career away
Why is he doing this lads? I've really enjoyed him as an actor.

3 min is pretty good.

>16 AVE ALL THE CLUES
what happened on 16 Ave.?

...

Which will be the more terrible film?

Geostorm or This?

apparently they ran out of money for this film.

To be fair, you have to have a pretty high IQ to understand the *inhales* meme. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of human respiration it will go over the typical reader's head.

>wife
Fucking normalfag

*Emails*

I didn't either.

Sounds like he has better taste than you because Fury Road is shit

Geostorm looks like a generic disaster film with an admittedly unique premise. Not good enough to see, not bad enough to laugh at.