Tremble, Sup Forums for you are now in the power of STARDUST THE SUPER WIZARD

Tremble, Sup Forums for you are now in the power of STARDUST THE SUPER WIZARD.
Your bad deeds will be judged, and the punishment will fit the crime.

In what incredibly cruel and unusual way does Stardust punish you?

Have mercy!

oh no, my dick!

What would happen if he came to the DC universe?

Stardust and Popeye vs Plutonian. How many minutes would Plutonian last?

He forces me to keep living.

I got the I Shall Destroy All Civilized Planets! colleciton a while back.

This shit is just incoherent. Not in a "the Golden/Silver Age sure was weird!" way, it just doesn't even make basic narrative sense. Shit just happens, it's nearly gibberish.

How did it even get made?

Look at that FACE. That animalistic horror of the guy in the green.
This is the same face that a animal makes when cornered by a predator.
When a parent is confronted with a wounded child.

When Gandalf saw the armored trolls break the gate.

And now it's him. The sheer, utter terror of a man who's confronted with a GOD (probably that kid in the jack chick comic who found out he could lie, he could cheat- and nothing stopped him from ascending into what he is now).
This is a man that is helpless. Hopeless. His only expectation is in trying not to go mad from the pain that is to come.

Stardust summons a giant dinosuar that eats me and then shits me out am an egg.

Immigrant labor.
Cheap product.
Stupid snot nosed kids.

Literally that order.

Everyone needed a comic but quantity over quality hit now and then.

haha

For my crimes of lecherousness, he turns me into a beautiful naked woman encased in unbreakable glass in a provocative pose and places me in the middle of Africa's most populated city.
Unable to move, but also unable to die, I am stuck forever as a mere object of lustful gazing from savage beasts. Such is the law of Stardust.

YOU ARE TOO LATE STANKDUST!
I HAVE ENDED FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY 30 MINUTES AGO...
FOREVER HA HA HA!

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Silly mortals! Afeter i witnessed such heinous crimes involving sexual perversion and psychopathic socialization that your kind does, i decided to travel back in time and used my powers to create this digital cage that you call as "Sup Forums".

Now instead of spreading your plagues to the real world, you are all trapped forever in this diabolical island of lepers were the only ones that you can torture are each other on a infinite loop of shitposting and endless pain! Thus punishing and preventing this community from making real crimes in the real world at the same time

>minutes

Something about my penis for jerking off too much.

My headcanon always had stardust be the superhero version of a grown up Franklin. Just doing silly shit with his reality powers before maturing into Hickman's adult Franklin

CURSE YOU, STARDUST!

That's too far, even for Stardust.

But could Stardust possibly EVEN TOUCH Madara Uchiha? Let alone defeat him. And I'm not talking about Edo Tensei Uchiha Madara. I'm not talking about Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara either. Hell, I'm not even talking about Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikodou abilities and being capable of both Amateratsu and Tsukuyomi genjutsu), equipped with his Gunbai, a perfect Susano'o, control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in him so he has mokuton kekkei genkai and can perform yin yang release ninjutsu while being an expert in kenjutsu and taijutsu. I’m talking about Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan (which is capable of Enton Amaterasu, Izanagi, IzanamiI I'm talking about sagemode sage of the six paths Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Legendary Super Saiyan 4 Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, Rinnegan, Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, and Geass doujutsus, equipped with his Shining Trapezohedron while casting Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann as his Susanoo, controlling the Gold Experience Requiem stand, having become the original vampire after having absorbed Alucard as well as a God Hand, able to tap into the speedforce, wearing the Kamen Rider Black RX suit, with Kryptonian DNA implanted in him and having eaten Popeye's spinach while possessing quantum powers like Dr. Manhattan and having mastered Hokuto Shinken

>How did it even get made?

I imagine someone wrote it, someone drew it, someone colored it, and someone printed it. Not necessarily the same person in all roles.

No. Probably not.

hed drown me in beer and cigarettes

Real talk, "you are now in the power of Stardust" is the coolest catchphrase any cape ever had. It just says everything. You're fucked, don't even try anything.

Fuck, meant to use this one.

Agreed. The fact that he talks *at* people and not *to* them sends it further home. There is no bargaining, pleas for mercy fall on deaf ears, it's like trying to argue with an answering machine.

Fun fact #1: Fletcher Hanks actually did all that- he's recognized as one is the first true comic book auteurs.

Fun fact #2: He died alone, broke and drunk, freezing to death on a Manhattan park bench.

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>freezing to death
Just like Stardust did in Alan Moore's fanfiction.

It's worked surprisingly well.

Wait what powers does he have exactly?

Well I haven't done anything, so I'll be fine.

I would despair, but I haven't the strength.

Holy shit!

All of them.

He can do anything he can think of, ANYTHING.

Congratulations, you just died when racketeers set off a nuclear bomb in your city.

>racketeers
>nuclear bomb
Wait, what is this I don't even?

By the awesome power of STARDUST, THE SUPER WIZARD.

It was written by a man with fairly severe personality issues and alcoholism. It's basically just him getting even with everyone he perceived to have wronged him.

He was also not very young when he did it.

Teleports a giant artificial cephalopod with the cloned brain of a mad telepath into my town.

Was there ever 34 made of him going "You are now in the ass of Stardust"?

Literally anything you can imagine.

Was he serious with this?

Whatever, man.
I ain't reading all that shit.

...He'd still beat him. Stardust is One Punch Man with hair.

In the universe of Stardust, mobsters are world ending super science villains who are probably also agents of the reds.

He got what he deserved.

...That is very ironic.

Like Stardust would bottom

"The power of Stardust is now in you."

Power bottom, dude.

Literally and figuratively.

"Fuck off, I am not gay!"
>Literally sucks you in from across the room
>Reverse-rapes you as you scream in helpless disgust and complete bewilderment
> "Help! Help!"

>Just like Stardust did in Alan Moore's fanfiction
wait, what?

I'll probably be turned into some kind of space bong for a cosmic giant with infinite lung capacity, hitting the harshest weed in the universe forever

OK, nanoseconds.

Picoseconds?

Holy crap that's brilliant!

It's a copypasta. [Spoiler]The joke is to follow up with "Yes, but if... And re-pasta it with an extra power in the middle. I'm fond of adding Popeye's spinach.[/spoiler]

>I sit alone in the cosmic observatory watching over everything, anything
>The planet Earth does not need me. Even if a maddened dictator set of a nuclear device or if a mass viral infection wipes humanity from existance, Earth, my home, will still spin just as it always has
>What I have seen... nothing compares. Humans are just primative. Men who kill. Men who take are nothing more than cavemen. They angrily beat each other with sticks and rocks until the other is dead, crumpled on the ground.
>If someone ruled over everything, they would eventually discover laws of the universe that I oft protect. I choose to intervene to stop them from progressing. From learning what only I know
>Even if I am all powerful... and despite no longer having a shred of humanity, I still feel the cold touch of space seperating me from what I once was
>Maybe I do not just feel the need to keep secrets safe. This phantom pain that clutches the chest, labors my breath, and stops me for but a moment... I feel obligated to defend everyone else from this sensation that not even beasts should ever experience
>Loneliness
>I sit alone in the cosmic observatory. Watching over everything
>Anything

those villains would wreck Marvel and DC if Stardust wasn't there to keep them on check

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How often do you get to use that one?

In the ancillary material for League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Vol. III, there's a text story where the obscure Captain Marvel-derivative Captain Universe describes an encounter with Stardust.

I actually just made it, don't go throwing it around willy-nilly.

Anyway I got this new hardcover collection for Xmas there, it's fucking gorgeous: Turn Loose Our Death Rays and Kill Them All!

It goes shockingly bad. Re-reading it, it actually seems weirdly personal.

I long for the day when Constantine or Dr. Manhattan are put in their place in a similar unnecessary matter.

Popeye's spinach is in that one. Madara ate Popeye's spinach bro.

Actually the DC heroes could have stopped them. There was the time Mr. Mxyzptlk decided to cancel the gravity of earth.

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>we're stuck in an infinite loop, so Bionicle isn't off shelves and truly dead yet

FOOLISH STARDUST, BY YOUR OWN HAND I HAVE WON
THIS ETERNAL TWILIGHT SUITS ME WELL; I LEAVE FOR /toy/ NOW

Stardust is a monster dude.

And Manhatan and Constantine already have shit lifes.

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It's a shame Stardust couldn't handle his own comic and had to find a new identity.

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They both look like somebody just pinched their ass.

Love the way Stardust flies. Reminds me of Toy Story
>Falling... WITH STYLE!

I'm led to wonder what Stardust would do to someone guilty of diddling children.

When will Superman travel to the StarDustiverse??

Superman= star dust
Fantomah = Wonder Woman
Big Red McClain (the lumberjack guy) = batman

It begs for a sequel, where Stardust wakes up.

Maybe it's just me but there's something uniquely disturbing about this particular page. Like it isn't enough that Stardust reduces your form to just a head, oh no sir, he then takes you to some place out in space, throws your head at some giant, and then you become slowly absorbed by said giant. Like what happens, do you die or is your conscience/soul absorbed into this thing forever? The bad art certainly plays a part in the creepiness as well.

It's just the ease with which he distributes these fucked up punishments.

AND WHO WILL JUDGE YOU? OH, MIGHTY STARDUST?

You who act as judge, jury and executor, what can we do to escape your judgment?

Punish the leftwing druggies.

Something about the way the punishment is doled out, like of course this is the natural punishment for said crime! Head absorption!

And he never looks back, it's not a moral dilemma or anything.

This shit is why i love comic books. DC and Marvel should come back to stuff like this exclusively, instead of boring everyone with social commentary and pointless hero schisms plots.