What would it take for The Last Jedi to make you stop shitting on Porgs?

What would it take for The Last Jedi to make you stop shitting on Porgs?
Yes, they're cute. Yes, they'll sell a fuckload of toys, but that doesn't automatically mean they're only about selling toys. What if they are (like Ewoks,) dangerous predators that would roast and eat the main characters alive? What if their feathers contain neurotoxins and they can shoot them through Stormtrooper armor? What if they shit Kyber crystals? What if they're hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings who created the entire Star Wars Universe just to be assholes? What if they're just basically background noise like Mouse Droids or the Mouse-Guy in the Cantina?

...

Fuck off shill.

i wanna see them as nothing more than chewbacca food. it's been mentioned many times about wookie being able to rip limbs apart, but never shown in canon movies. time to show bloodthirsty cheewie going on full-rage and eating porg or 2

That's a cute transgender couple.

every option you mentioned its equally terrible.
Porgs should be food

Daily reminder that all star wars threads belong on /lgbt/

The porgs aren't worth of memeing about. Everything Disney is so lame, it's embarrassing

Porgs are this trilogy's Ewok and JarJar. Disney just realized cute is more marketable than funny. They're just as cancerous. Maybe moreso since these things were probably focus tested to hell and back to ensure it's the most soulless aspect of the movie.

I would have preferred if the dole dippers penguin was a character instead of the porgs