Turned 25 today :')

Turned 25 today :')

I actually did it with a hooker once but that just made me feel more sad and pathetic, does that count?

guaranteed 400 replies

Where did you find a hooker?

Asking for a friend btw

happy birthday. better yourself by the time you're 28, it's not too late.

Ok guys, how many of these apply to you? Be honest.

I just swallowed my pride and walked into a brothel (they're legal in my country)

41 and counting

This post will end in 41

>41
What's your story?

If you ejaculated in the presence of another human, and they were physically interacting with your intention to ejaculate, then you are no longer a virgin.
Until you have ejaculation purposed interactions with a girl that you are genuinely attracted to, all of your sexual interactions will leave you with some regrets and questions. Just go with it until you find what you want.

One of boundless cowardice

lel I just fucked my 25th chick the other night

I'm not a chad just cute :3

Hookers don't count. She has to willing have sex with you

>cumming in your pants from a lapdance means you're no longer a virgin

You're fucking retarded, no that's not what it means

>walks too fast
>compulsively needs to pass anyone
>long strides
>back slouched
>clothing is all neutral coloured

Wrong
Peepee enters vagoo means no virgin anymoire

>If you ejaculated in the presence of another human, and they were physically interacting with your intention to ejaculate, then you are no longer a virgin.

explain how that doesnt apply to a lap dance

even if you meant a handjob or blowjob you're still the retard

>only sexual contact was getting molested 17 years ago
>terrified of women now

Hot, feel free to greentext that shit

>neutral clothing = check
>walk too fast = check
>think people are looking at me and jugdging = check
>music while outside = not check, makes me anxious people will hear my edgy music
>slouched, head craned forward = not check, fixed my posture through core strength and physical therapy
>manual beathing and stiff walking = check
>insecure about how I walk = check
>avoid eye contact = check
I got a gf and it didn't fix shit. Insecurity and anxiety are probably for life.

I notice most people around me walk too slow for my liking, I guess I walk too fast.
I also wear running shoes everywhere because I actually like to go for a run every now and then

>I actually did it with a hooker once but that just made me feel more sad and pathetic, does that count?
As someone 10 years older than you who did the exact same 13 years ago, no it doesn't count.

oh for fucks sake, another "boo hoo im a virgin"-thread

start working out or shut the fuck up

I didn't cum though, I could barely stay hard in fact I was only able to stay hard by closing my eyes and imagining a pornstar and occassionally rubbing my self

if you're a virgin over 17, kill yourself.
not even memeing. you failed as a man.

41 year old guy here

no

who's your waifu

Rei

>41
>virgin
>safe to assume no friends either
you're already dead, cuck

nigga you were like 20 when Rey came out what are you doing

I probably do 95 percent of those things except the posture ones and I've fucked over 100 women at 23 y/o

It's bullshit but whatever

Me

Asukaabsolutleydisgusting.jpeg

patrish my man, don't listen to the fags

>you're already dead
That's most likely true, but I'm not going to make it entirely true just because a little peckerhead like you, champ

you will within 10 years

>head craned forward
>back sloutched
(isn't that like the same thing anyway)
>Struggles to find comfortable hand form

tl;Dr: WTF do?

Guys, I'm so tired of life. I see how empty it is. I see that all philosophies rest on arbitrarily chosen axioms. I see the changing fashions of pseudointellectuals demanding conformity through praise of Atheism or Christianity or classic books or whatever academia or corporations demand.

I am fully blackpilled about my ugliness disadvantaging me to an incredible degree. I see everyone, even leftists, angrily denying this because ugly beta males are the disposable batteries of society.

My current full time job requires almost no work but if I had to work from 9-5 my life would be practically over. The few weeks I actually stayed from 9-5 in the office were soul crushing and terrifying.

My main hobbies are browsing the internet, walking around central london, drinking coffee, hoping my 20s will spontaneously stop feeling wasted. Of course all that happens is that I feel crushed after seeing Chads and Staceys everywhere. Junk food is currently my main solace.

All sources of pleasure are hierarchies that require more work than my job. Read books? Read these boring classic books. Want to program? Go through these long, theoretical boring books.

I am bitter about everyone having easier lives: normies gliding through institutions filled with normies, judged solely on normieness.

Background:
>aged 26
>no friends or social life since 18
>no female attention ever
>went through university with zero social experiences
>became the loner nobody talks to within two days of my current job
>never been to pub, club, or party
>missed out on all the 16 - 22 formative social experiences that people look back on fondly (teen crushes, school prom, school dances, university fresher's week, any sort of relationships at all)
>know that women all have 5000 tinder matches and think the average male is ugly; seeing attractive women everywhere is demoralising
>feel completely bitter and detached from others due to being an ugly subhuman; lifting weights did nothing

> 29
> last time I weighed myself I was 413 lbs
> have banged 3 chicks

Lol imagine being more repulsive than a dude that weighs 400 pounds get your shit together faggots

i'm sure 90% of men wouldn't pay to fuck those "chicks".
can't even imagine how vile they were.

>peckerhead
Lol that's exactly the kind of word you'd expect a 41 y/o outcast to use. So out of touch it's endearing.
Good riddance oldfag. I'd nod out to opiates with you to escape the misery of existence.

This is copypasta right?

If it's not, you're fucked. You're set in your ways and you won't change them. In all likelyhood you will be bitter for life.

Yeah it counts user. Using financial means to access sex is a male mating strategy as old as time. Don't ever be down on yourself again cos you're the only true friend you've got in the whole world.

Trading cash for shags is as old as time itself and has happened in direct or indirect forms in all societies. As a man the accumulation of wealth is actually one of your primary strategies. They did some studies where they introduced food tokens to chimps like a currency
......guess what? The female chimps became whores almost overnight.

Not really, here's the last chick I banged

>never been to pub, club, or party
wew

her face is shit.
take away the filter/noise and show her fat vomit inducing body and you're just proving my point.

I'll be 29 next month.
Technically I haven't had sex yet but there where plenty of opportunities where I could have. I'm just kinda disgusted by vaginas so usually when I'm on a third date with girl and we end up in her bedroom I'll start making out with her, finger her some, turn her over and masturbate onto her ass. After I cum, which never takes more than a minute I'll act really tired and pretend to fall asleep while cuddling with her. In the morning I'll get up before her, leave and block/delete her on all messengers.
I've done this like 10 times already.
feelsokayman.png

Imagine being this much of a bittee faggot

>third date
>still no sex
>falling asleep and cuddling with a one night stand
>29
you're a loser and a weird faggot.

If it works for you why not? The fact they let you do it is some kind of validation no?

I think the answer to your problem would be obvious user.

like i said, shit.

It's copypasta but it was me who wrote it and it's true

Post pics of chicks you've banged then faggot

yea, let me go prove to some fat trailer trash faggot i haven't fucked ugly women like him

brb

I guess after I turned them over they're waiting for me to put it in and think I'm just jacking it some to get harder. One girl was so disappointed I had to leave before the pretend-falling-asleep part.

It's not really that big of a problem for me, maybe I'll find a girl that is satisfied with that.

How do you never go to a pub club or party? I quit uni 3 years ago to start somewhere else, and it was impossible to not get invited to one. Just by sitting in the common area of my study people would come up almost every day and invite me and others to drink, chill, party or whatever. If I wanted to go out I would literally just show up at school with a high chance of getting an invite - hell even not having gone to uni for 3 years I still get invited to college parties bi-weekly.

I go out drinking and have been since I was 18. No one has ever invited me to do anything or hit on me.
t. 33 year old virgin

I meant so long as you are happy then why not. Ain't your job to please random roasties on a one night stand. Hell if you don't care about repeat business its the perfect place to do all the pervy shit you want. Literally just stop caring what they think or feel

I lost mine at 23. Couldn't find the hole the first time

What is the reason so many chucks jave this shitty pouch/gut. Is it from beer. Or like an inflamed color? The fuck

I watched so much porn that by the time I lost mine at 23 there was no mystery or excitement to it. Feels bad man.

Skinnyfat from shitty diet and sedentary lifestyle.

how old are you? I'm cute n only fucked 4 chicks in my life so far

Like I said I dont get it. I studied 3d art before quitting to get a job in sound engineering (because it was my hobby and I had an extensive portfolio) and it was 90% male and they were all league of legends playing, socially inept virgins. But they were all-inclusive in their activies, not one person was left uninvited and everybody invited everybody to everything. You could bring +10s if you wanted they were just down to party. It had nothing to to do with who you were. This goes for every study and country I’ve partied with even, so far.

how? if I was 400 lbs my dick would be nonexistent let alone pleasable to someone

Try struggling with that for years.

90s born queer detected

>not a complete beta
>tried fucking ex
>super hard when fooling around
>get anxiety seconds before sticking it in

i already have an average sized penis but it was super embarassing trying to fuck w a half chub uuuuuugh i just know she told our friends too

>too polite, gives too much space for oncoming traffic, but secretly hates people who walk slowly when side-by-side
>Compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him
those I guess
>Walks too fast
>too fast
no such thing
gotta go fast

That's sad. You must be pretty ugly desu.

that sounds like a really dumb reason to kill yourself, get a grip and grow a nutsack sex is not the be all end all you can have a great life while staying a virgin all you have to do is respect yourself and not get bitter

t. lost virginity at 14 but grew it back after my life got fucked

Yeah I am.

Why the fuck does anxiety ruin literally everything? It's without a doubt the greatest curse on humanity.

yeah, report back in when you have an interesting story to tell almost fell asleep reading that

don t be a fag and grab pussies

>had sex over a decade ago
>nothing since then, became akward fuck.
>People at work make fun of me that i'm a virgin.

Seriously, fuck off faggots, it wasnt that great, whats the big idea.

Virginity resets at 18 for guys. Any moron can forest gump his way into pussy in high school. The reason people don't get laid in high school is because they try to clime the social ladder, and hover around the same top 20 girls. Most guys could get a gf in high school if they lowered their standards. No one know what's going on. Girls are out of it. Guys are out of it. There's a 4 year age spread that 99% of the girls don't date older than.

No getting laid in high school is the norm these days, and managing to do it isn't evidence of anything other than luck. No one got laid in high school on purpose except for the top 20 guys in the class.

After high school, all guys go back down to zero on the social ladder. No one cares if you were a player in high school.

it's not interesting it's barely even a story, it just fucking sucks. I did finger blast the demons outta her if that adds any spice

Your penis was in a vagina. That's all that matters. All women are technically whores anyway.

>Long strides

I can't help that I have long legs.

no offense, you could have made it glorious
pic related

>technically
wow did you study technology at university or something

say no more

cope more faggot

Lost mine at 22. I could, but couldn't stay hard. The girl I was with didn't put in a lot of effort to make me hard, though.

>when you fuck a girl so ugly you can't even get hard
lol

I never understood this. Is it just a meme or do people actually have trouble with this?

It's not rocket science, it's basic fucking anatomy.

Pretty face, but pretty fat as well. Glad I had the lights off. When we took a shower together afterwards I could only look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the fuck I was doing.
It made a good story, though.

29 and still a virgin, mostly because I was an awkward shut in living in podunk nowhere, and a traditionalist who wanted to marry first.

Getting /fit/ and going out a lot more, and hopefully I can get rid of the v-card, and then not have sex on my mind quite so much. I'm actually hoping it's a let down. I would be so much more productive if half my hobbies and motivation wasn't controlled by my dick.

>I would be so much more productive if half my hobbies and motivation wasn't controlled by my dick.

welcome to manhood, son.

I came in her the first night we met in the back of my friends van, dat was fun

Been there. Last girl I was with just grabbed it, dry hand, and started yanking it like like she was scrubbing a fucking iron bar of rust. Her hand felt like sandpaper. It pretty much killed the mood and the evening sort of died there.

>dat
Are you a nigger?

i wish

I wear new balance and I have fucked over 200 women

I had the feeling she was only slightly less inexperienced than I was.
Second girl I slept with (and so far the last) was better.

lel, ok kid

I thought it only counts when you ejaculate inside(raw)

am I right?

> gotta go fast