Recite your baseline, user

Recite your baseline, user.

I'M A TORTOISE INTERCONNECTED

and blood black nothingness
began to spin
a system of cells interlinked
within cells interlinked
within cells interlinked
within one stem
and dreadfully distinct
against the dark
a tall white fountain played

>WHAT'S IT LIKED TO HOLD THE HAND OF SOMEONE YOU LOVE? INTERLINKED
.........I-INTERLINKED

>ARE YOU A VIRGIN? CELLS
c-cells...

ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli

RAVIOLI

How did the baseline test work exactly?

A boy falls in love with a girl. Unable to confess, he is gifted by a deus ex machina with the girl's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.

Screams heartbreaking questions to you at rapid and chaotic pace to induce a chemical reaction in your brain that shows that you have deep seated "rebellious" emotions. Aka you're a compromised replicant and you're too dangerous to be left alive.

>WHAT'S IT LIKE TO FUCK SEVERAL GIRLS A NIGHT? CHAD

Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

Interlinked.

HAVE YOUR EYES SEEN THE GLORY OF THE TRAMPLIN AT THE ZOO? ZOG
zog
HAVE YOU WASHED YOURSELF IN NIGGERS BLOOD AND ALL THE MOGRELS TOO? ZOG
zog

A system of memes within memes within memes interlinked.

>Am I a big guy? Cells
Cells

>Will it be extremely painful? Cells
Cells

>Is crashing the plane part of your plan?
Interlinked

Repeat memes within memes three times
Memes within memes interlinked
Memes within memes interlinked
Memes within memes interlinked
Interlinked

>WHAT'S THE COUNTRY IN THE CENTER OF AFRICA ? CHAD

>WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE LOVED? CELLS
c-cells

lol

>WHATS IT LIKE TO GET (YOU)S? INTERLINKED

i-interlinked

WHO IS THE MOST POWERFUL OF DR GERO'S CREATIONS? CELL

Cell

1. Mathematics is the language of nature.
2. Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers.
3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge.

Therefore: There are patterns everywhere in nature.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Nexus-9, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on escaped Nexus-8, and I have over 300 confirmed retirements. I am trained in Voight-Kampff testing and I’m the top sniper in the entire LAPD. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this system, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the net? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of blade runners across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Wallace Corporation and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Earth, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. Interlinked.

>Agent C-I-A-dash-4-U, let’s begin. Ready?
>Yes, sir
>Recite your baseline
>And a milspec-green jeep began to run…A team of Bane interlinked within Brothers interlinked within Bane interlinked within the fire…And dreadfull distinct against a plane, a man in a blue polo waited.
>Bane
>Bane
>Was being catch part of your plan? Bane
>Bane
>Do you get to bring friends? Bane
>Bane
>When they do not work for masketta man do you call them in your flight plan? Bane
>Bane
>For you
>For you
>Why does he wear the mask? For you
>For you
>Did they teach you he would die? For you
>For you
>Do you long for him telling you his master plan? For you
>For you
>Do you dream about it being painful…?
>For you
>What’s it like to have Doctor Pavel in your flight plan? For you
>For you
>Do you feel that there’s a hired gun who should be missing? For you
>For you
>Big guy for you
>Big guy for you
>Why don’t you say that three times: Big guy for you
> Big guy for you, Big guy for you, Big guy for you
>We’re done…Agent C, you can pick up your gun

>Does Gooseposting make you happy? Cells.
Cells.
>Isn't this a little gay? Cells.
Cells.
>Do you wish Ryan Gosling was your best friend? Cells.
Cells.
>You don't know him at all, do you? Did you invent an imaginary friend with your favorite actor's face? Cells.
C-cells.
>What happened to your real best friend? Interlinked.
Interlinked. Can we take a break pl-
>Did he move on with his life and leave you behind? Interlinked.
I-interlinked!
>They all move on, don't they? Are all your friends moving forward with life while you stay in the same place? Interlinked.
INTERLINKED.
>Why don't you move forward with your life, user? Why won't you leave the apartment and do SOMETHING? Interlinked.
INTERLINKED! STOP IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

I think I'd choose one of the earlier stanzas from Pale Fire as my baseline:

"In a bright sky above a mountain range
One opal cloudlet in an oval form
Reflects the rainbow of a thunderstorm
Which in a distant valley has been staged--
For we are most artistically caged."

That's one of the ones that stuck with me when I first read it. Plus it can still be used in the test with "caged" in place of "cells".