SILENCE

SILENCE

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I KEEL YOU

HOWEVER...

youtu.be/351Aa5q_S98

SILENCE is what you should blissfully be sitting in after turning off the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

do you have this in higher definition

>I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated

I love the autism in that pasta.

This video gets way funnier if you've watched The Leftovers.

what soundtrack is this

"No!"

>Another year gone" Dumbledore says
>"And now as I understand it, the house cup needs awarding and the points stand thus"
>Every student except Slytherin is disappointed, as they know they are inferior. The numbers prove it.
>"In 4. Place Gryffindor with 312 points", the students clap
>"In 3. Place Hufflepuff with 352 points", the students clap
>"In 2. Place Ravenclaw with 426 points", the students clap
>"And in 1. Place, with 472 points, slytherin house"
>The slytherins cheer, fully aware of how mercilessly they obliterated gryffindor and the other irrelevant houses.
>The Gryffindors can't do anything but sit there, knowing they deserve last place.
>All is well.
>"Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin", Dumbledore says, but he seems not to have quite finished his speech.
>"HOWEVER", Dumbledore exclaims with a smirk.
>Oh no
>"Recent events must be taken into account".
>Snape, proud of his house, is thrown off visibly.
>"And I have a few last minute points to award".
>All Slytherins start aggressively sweating.
>They know this system is rigged.
>They already feel how they're about to get screwed over.
>"To Miss Hermione Granger, for the cool use of intellect, while others were in grave peril, 50 points".

Great intro.

>The old man just awarded the mudblood 50 POINTS for being a tryhard nerd.
>The gryffindor boys all have raging boners by now, as they cheer for her bullshit points.
>A Slytherin faints at his table, nobody is mentally capable anymore of helping him.
>They can only stare in disbelieve.
>"Second, to mister Ronald Weasly for the best played game of chess that Hogwarts has seen these many years, 50 points".
>For a well-played game of chess. 50 points.
>Weasly grins like a smug little cunt.
>Some Slytherins start having seizures.
>"And third, to Mister Harry Potter for pure love and outstanding courage I award gryffindor house 60 points"
>What the fuck is "pure love supposed to mean?
>Did he get those points for blowing the grandpa?
>The Gryffindors are hard as diamonds.
>Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are now also pitching tents.
>"We're tied with Slytherin" says the mudblood, not even whispering, so everyone in the otherwise quiet great hall can audibly hear her.
>Some Slytherins slipped into comas, others tried to use the death curse on themselves to commit suicide, but they couldn't say a word from all the shock.
>Draco Malfoy just whimpers about his father hearing about this under his breath
>"And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more, to stand up to your friends. I award 10 points to Neville Longbottom"
>All the Gryffindors orgasm simultaneously.
>Most Slytherins have aneurisms.
>That faggot Longbottom only fucks up, he doesn't deserve shit.
>"Assuming that my calculations are correct, I believe, that a change of decoration is in order" Dumbledore says
>He claps his hands and the Slytherin decoration is replaced by Gryffindor decoration.
>"Gryffindor wins the house cup", he says, also ejaculating.
>Hagrid cheers like the biased cunt he is.
>All the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws throw their hats in the air, as they're all fucking biased against Slytherin

FUCK YOU DUMBLEDORE

HARRY SE ESTA GARCHANDO A TODOS

youtube.com/watch?v=hTHYpA_du-A

>Miss Hermione Granger
>not Ms.
Fucking sexist.

Well done, Bateman, well done.

HOWEVER

Why did this meme have to die?

...

Best Dumbledore

How does this system even work that three students can lose a third of a year's worth of points for being caught snooping in the castle at night?

It doesn't, the point system was one of the dumber things JK Rowling came up with

>How does this system even work
magic

there is no system
points can be added or removed completely at the discretion of the teacher

this Also she completely dropped it after the second (I think) book.