Theater Stories

A thread in which we share cinema experiences.

>at BR2049
>enjoying this kino
>girl next to me and her boyfriend munching on some popped corn, but keeping it lowkey and respectful
>I've already offered them a gracious tip of my cap for their courteousness, they've reciprocated with a bow and curtsy, as appropriate
>half way through the film
>hear girl whisper to her boyfriend "Time to toot!"
>she stands up and unbuckles her denim short shorts
>quickly yet smoothly pulls her pants and panties down, lets them hit the floor
>bends at the waist, facing the screen, bare bottom illuminated by the projector
>emits a high pitched "toot" from her butthole, hear chuckles from my fellow kinoplex denizens
>people throughout the theater stand and do likewise
>entire room is filled with a symphony of toots, some high pitched and squeaky, some low and rumbling
>eventually becomes a "call and response" sort of game
>girl notices that I'm not tooting (trying to enjoy the kino, after all)
>angles her cacophonous keister towards my face
>emits a powerful blast of wind, accompanied by a short "toot"
>mfw

Real talk tho niggas I'm going to bed as soon as this posts. So I'll wake up tomorrow morning and before I head to work I'll go ahead and check this thread just to see what everyone has posted. So don't get nervous, take that extra time to craft your post so you don't embarrass yourself. Thanks.

>not tooting
why didn't you join in? what a loser.

I once asked "is that a JoJo reference" when Where the Wild Things Are was playing, and then my dad shook me

That’s fucking hilarious.

>Chicago
>West Side
>Midnight release of Snakes on a Plane
>Heavily buzzed from pregaming with a friend from school at the time
>I'm the only person in the entire theater who isn't black
>Crowd completely into the movie from the very beginning
>Every single person in the theater screams along with the "motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane" line

I don't think I will ever have a more enjoyable theater experience

>Saw DUDE WEED mans This is the End in theaters
>theater is packed, everyones quiet during normal scenes
>after a joke everyone in the theater starts bursting laughing
>eventually turns into purposefully laughing way too hard
>everyone starts hooting and hollering anytime anything remotely funny happens

Shit was fun desu

>be 11 in 1993
>super hyped to see the Mario Bros. movie
>parents dont want to see it feel im old enough to see a movie alone
>drop me off at mall theater while they do shopping
>ima big boy now dont need no supervision
>get kids movie meal box and walk into theater
>empty
This is in one of the larger theater rooms rows on the side too
> this is cool, sit in middle of 6th row and wait patiently for more people
>no one shows up, begin running around theater enjoying a big open space to myself
>doing cartwheels and summer saults in the isles
>starting to get scared
>all alone in big empty space that will soon become dark. Be still scared of dark
>start to lose shit and think about running back to lobby
>stick my head out the door and see boy & girl with a dad walking my way
“Are you comming to see Mario Bros?” I ask shakingly
“Heck yeah!” they reply
>am relieved
>tell them I was alone in theater & starting to freak out
>two kids are super cool and sit with me in middle of 6th row
>their dad sits further back & leaves us alone
>movie starts. Us kids have blast watching dumb movie.
>movie ends, we all think it was cool, say goodbye
>parents waiting in lobby pick me up.
>never see those two kids again.

I guess I will continue
>be older, now working at theater I watched Mario Bros at all those years ago
>begin to notice regular customers.
>a father, teen daughter, and pre-teen son.
>whenever daughter is with family acts normal
>when by herself and sees that boys are around begins to walk super slutty and exaggerated.
Think like Alihya in that shit Queen of the Damned movie
>all of us agree it looks retarded. Girls coworkers ask wtf is she doing. Assume no mom around and probably damaged goods.
If not undersge I totally would
>life moves on, get another job at other movie theater in town
>see same three folks going to this theater too
Havent seen them for over a year working elsewhere
>sloot is now teenage pregnant, still walks like retarded cartoon character when not around dad and is sure boys around.

>go see It with a girl
>theater mostly empty
That's about it really, chill experience. I just don't go that often.

>get date with girl
>go see Lake Placid
Its about a giant killer croc
>whenever something “scary” happens shit over reacts, screams and grabs onto my arm
In retrospect this was actually kind of sweet and realized this was an excuse to grope eachother but I dont post on Sup Forums for nothing and so didn’t realize this at the time
>super fucking annoying
>she a stout girl
>apparently also ninja because her finger tips & nails are hitting all kinds of pressure points in my arm and she is digging in with a vice like grip
>is my own fault for not being swole but I just want her to stop, don’t say anything
>have bruises on right picep next day
>dont have second date

>ababa jadauba
>dbababu kndauty
>yatay hatsgagbe
>mfw bdhsusbej
>"adatsbe siemsoabe kaeue tkxeo?"
>teretuat dje ronrata
>tfw ywn jsiosneodmrjeyeye

Adabadte rehate djdo??

This is what has become of Sup Forums

Motherfucking autism

heretedje sjoeeo

>I probably put more than 8 ounces of butter in my popcorn
>now my ass is leaking

Other than that, I feel pretty great

Op is a loser

haha nice

Watched BR2049 and some old fuck in the row behind me fell asleep and snored for 20 minutes straight

Seeing Anaconda in theater. Couple behind me wont shut the fuck up. Typical trailer trash.

Call Icecube “that nigger” whenever he comes on screen. Complain about Phillipino bitch who apparently gave them shit at concession stand. Loudly proclaim they are glad no filthy wetbacks are in the theater that day. Think Jon Voit is actual latino person. Call him a spick.

Loudly eat popcorn (how?), chew candy with mouths open, throw empty boxes and packaging around when done. Do that thing when you suck on empty soda cup straw and get that bong rip noise for 10 minuets.

I did that at one of the newer James Bond movies. I'd been up for days and the thermostat had to be turned up into the mid 70s, so I was out before the opening credits were done. Apparently I was loud enough for people to hear me for several rows in every direction and they were all laughing at me.

>watching a screening of Heat
>Philadelphia, 2008
>packed and no pun intended, that room was hot
>wearing my green jacket, my black t shirt and jeans
>All Al Pacino scenes made people burst into laughs
>some girl on my side was talking to me about how Val Kilmer body
>she didn't know the original theatrical release of the movie
>i told her it is from 1995
>she gets kinda surprised
>we didn't get our phone numbers
>movie ends
>i lost her
>until 2013 i think
>going to watch The New 300 movie
>this time we traded our numbers
>we were laughing at the sex scene
>she still my friend to this day

and yes, of course we fucked, but only after her boyfriend cheated on her, funny grill...

>she a stout girl

Cracked me up

i find this story difficult to accept as factual

>saw BR2049 alone on a weekday morning
>Huge fucking theater
>Only other people there are five other singles, all middle aged men
I'm glad I shared that kino experience with them

This thread will be long gone by the time you wake up bro.

Weird, the exact same thing happened to me about a week or so ago.
He was on my row not behind me though, and then not long after waking up he just left midway through the film.

It was cool when you could just hang out with random kids and have them be your bros for the day. When I was like four some woman who was visiting a house down the street just rang on our doorbell and asked my mom if I would want to play with her son, because she knew there were kids at our house and didn't want him to be bored, so I just played with the kid for the afternoon, had a blast, and never saw him again. Good times.

>Go to see Gladiator in the theater
>worked all week but bought tickets for the 8pm showing
>smoked a huge hogsleg in the car
>theater is packed
>every seat is taken including a big black lady to my left
>hogsleg kicking in
>zzzz.pdf
>I am now asleep on her shoulder
>There is a scene where the FUCKING TIGER JUMPS OUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT
>she screams and throws her hands up, accidentally smacking me in the face
>I awake to the sounds of the entire theater screaming and a FUCKING TIGER on the screen
>she apologized but not her fault
>fucking tiger I was just getting some good sleep here man
>don't do drugs

>be me
>go to see pixels in the theater with a friend
>theater is like half empty
>we sit up in the back
>watching pixels
>it's fucking dumb but me and my friend are just making dumb jokes about it and laughing it up
>get on my phone and start messaging about how dumb the movie is
>guy on the right wall eventually notices and comes over to complain
>"dude, who gives a fuck, this movie is garbage"
>he goes to complain
>manager comes out
>point out that we're in the back, the brightness is on low, the sound is off, so the only way a person would even notice i'm using my phone is if they're not watching the movie
>manager agrees
>guy stomps off in a huff back to his seat
>turn brightness to max
>flip volume on
>start watching youtube videos
>don't even use my earbuds
>look over to the guy
>he is fuming and on the verge of tears
>i kick my feet up on the chair in front of me (nobody was there) and relax
>he starts screaming
>some usher rushes in
>turn off my phone and sit up straight
>i flip the guy off as he's kicked out
>friend can't stop laughing

>>he is fuming and on the verge of tears>i kick my feet up on the chair in front of me (nobody was there) and relax>he starts screaming

I really hope this actually happened lmao

>BR2049
>bout three quarters thru
>dumb slut one row in front and slightly to my right with her boyfriend
>gets in her phone
>texting and on FB
>boyfriend keeps calling her attention back to the film but she doesn't foxy for long
>poor bastard
>movie ends, lights go up
>at least three fat ass neckbeards with fedoras inna theater
>MFW
At least the movie was good.

What's a hogsleg? A joint?
Me and gf smoked before the force awakens and I fell asleep, I suddenly woke up for some reason about halfway through, apparently the guy sitting next to us took a flash photograph of me

You did him a favor.

That's hot as fuck. I love everything about women's asses.

Me and a friend in high school saw Freddy Got Fingered in the theaters.

5 people in the theater on opening night and only us 2 left at the end.

Wrong, lad. It's still alive

Even pink eye