Your popcorn & soda, sir. Anything else i can get you this evening?

Your popcorn & soda, sir. Anything else i can get you this evening?

cotton

Hot butter please

kek

If you could cut my throat or blow my brains out that would be spectacular.

apologize to Robert this instant

GODS THAT NAME SEEMS FAMILIAR

My favorite Mulanyan.
You got any gabagool?

Robert, make sure neither me nor my falcons are seated anywhere near this racist

Some cotton please, negro

I'd like to butter her corn hole if you catch my drift

No, that's all. Thank you very much Robert!

what did he mean?

Gabagool? Ovah here!

Take my wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crab legs with honey mustard please

I'm sorry, since when did I order a small soda, Robert?

>I'd like to butter her corn hole if you catch my drift

What did he ACTUALLY mean by this?

Robert you and I are one and the same
We are always at the kinoplex and we always work alone

>/?/

Can I have your number, Robert?

OOOOOOHHH IM A POPCORN MINER AND I WANNA BE FREE
DEATH TO THE SHITTY AMC

Tell my wife.... Tell her... to release my falcon...

Euuuuggghhhhh

Sir! You forgot your popcorn! Why are you running away from me?

what are you saying? catch where?

>P...Peter... You know what you must do... But please, just... Spare this man... Robert... He's like a person to me...

ROBERT LOOK OUT!

ROBERT NOOOOOO

...

F

...

user, I'm CIA (Formerly Robert)

ROBERT GOT POPPED??

I'm sorry sir, after becoming the new theater manager I've decided to crack down on our no singles policy. Would you like a male or female viewing partner assigned to you? The one you don't choose is going straight back to the popcorn mines, mind you.

...

all we had to do was follow the damn train

RIP in peace in pieces Robert

Kinoplex Diary
The air carried the oily vapor from the leaking butter crevasses shinning like a sea of dying stars in the light of our headlamps. The usual virgin walk of the newer boys became crawls as they moved around the mine; I would have laughed like the veterans did but knew that it would have been me on the ground too if it had not been my 183rd day down there. I already paid my dues the countless times when I fell on my ass in the early days in spots that were much more matte than what we were on that day. It was all second nature to me now, eventually I could have tap danced on the butter down there if I had someone to do it with.
Those laughs died just as soon as they started. Natural butter leaks meant only one thing: summer was there, the awful days as I'd heard. Popcorn production doubled in the summer to meet the demand for the hundreds of thousands of normies from all over the spectrum who had to watch the latest blockbuster flicks. We had to feed the free high school and college kids, the work friends, the families, everyone but the people like us. Getting that shit isn’t like getting the peanuts they serve at baseball games, it doesn’t grow on trees. But the grueling months of hard work that would break our bodies down to stiff mush after each shift was not what made us glance through the still darkness toward the elevator doors. I could feel it too even though it was my first summer, I couldn’t tell if I was sweating or if butter residue was melting on face and my intestines felt like they were being squeezed by someone with way more than just two hands.
“If it be summer and you can tell if yer shit’ll be a log or gravy, lumpy or smooth, and your face feels like a projector bulb after Lawrence of Arabia then you’re damn sure you’ve got The Dread, boy.”

That's what the 72 year-old virgin who has been in the mine since his 19th birthday told me a few weeks before all of this. Back then the manlet cut-off was only 5’4” and you could be a virgin as long as you had not been single for at least three months before your visit to the kinoplex. We all knew that the Chads were coming today.
“Sorry, but I must ask what is going on here?” said a concerned familiar voice that broke through the tense silence.
There he stood, just a few yards from me, his face illuminated by the headlights of the miners who turned toward the sound of his voice. He wore that familiar smile even on what seemed to be his sterner self, bright and welcoming, a smile that said “Enjoy the movie. Please come again”. It was Robert.
“Sirs, I cannot go back up there and tell my superiors that you are not doing your very best here. Must I remind you that popcorn outputting must double from summer solstice to autumnal equinox?” he continued.
“Hey, Rob!” I couldn’t help exclaiming through the silence of the others. “Robert! It’s me!”

ROBERT WHY

The other guys scattered for their tools and started their search for kernel pods. I stood there, frozen.
“Rob, what are you doing down here?”
He looked almost vexed but kept his smile. Somehow it was still just as genuine.
“Sir, I must continue my inspection of this section of our mine,” he said peering over his crescent lenses as he scribbled into an opened binder thick with paper.
“Employees of the kinoplex socializing with the . . . undesired is strongly prohibitted. Now please, sir, can you go do your work now and allow me to do mine?”
I slung my pickaxe and shovel unto my shoulder with one hand and carried my toolbox in the other.
“Fine, Rob. I’m gonna go now but can you throw a couple of crab legs down ol’ user’s way when you get back up there?”
He stopped a burst of laughter as I let mine out while I trailed behind the crawling newbies through the thickening haze of butter mist.
The sharp echo of a nauseating scream traveled through the tunnels of the mine while I made my way to my group. This was not the scream of a man whose face fell into a rusty rogue anvil or whose toe web slid down the adze of his pickaxe, those were painful. This was agony. I rubbed my soles in dry rock granule, secured my tools and jogged toward the ghastly sound. The tools on my shoulder slammed down on my bones after each leap forward as the ones in the box clinked to the pumping of the heart under my shirt begging me to do a 360 and walk away from the strange sounds of pain ahead but I could not stop. If I could not see kinos on a screen then I must see them in real life when such rare opportunities present themselves.
to be continued...

Can you take care of my wife while I'm watching Justice League?

Pls continu

>*CLEAR*
*bzzt*

can we only have these threads on Fridays from now on please?

A Robert falls in love with a Sneed

Gang violence in Theaters is out of control!

Pretty good

It was a hologram guys.

Who /BlackedRAW/ in here?

...

Racial ((hughmore)) reel ejee bro

Say that to my partner on more time

Sneed her chuck?