You think THAT'S bad? Remember the time I was in a Jack Chick comic?

You think THAT'S bad? Remember the time I was in a Jack Chick comic?

Leviticus 18:22
>like the flowers which spring from the earth on God's command, Stewie from Fox's hit animated comedy Family Guy is gay

I had to google Jack Chick to see whether this was pro or anti gay. That seems to be a running theme when your only argument is "this person is gay"

The Bible is full of opinions of modern animated sitcoms
144:1
Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, Simpsons just isn't that good after Season 9.

Geez, you thought that was bad? Remember the time I browsed Deviantart?

Ephesians 6:3
>Trust in the LORD with all your heart and American Dad will be reborn on TBS

It will only get worse. Soon people will see homosexuality as not just normal but better than heretrosexuality. Then they will outlaw different gender marriage.

...

You think THATS bad remember......
[Spoiler] wait, no, that one's pretty bad

You know what's funny
We actually have transitioning toddlers now
The way the world is going it's no wonder most western women have become barren

Is that really the worst thing about Family Guy to him? The baby is ambiguously gay?

stop being paranoid

you can't change what someone is attracted to
one way or the other

also, nobody would pass a law that would automatically lead to the extinction of humanity

at least the Slavic master race will finally be able to take over

Psalms 7:11
God is a righteous judge, And a God who has indignation every day. Also Jimmy Pesto is a tool

Sup Forums snuck in

From the thumbnail I thought this was the comic about Peter talking about how Bleach is an awful manga, even when compared to Naruto or One Piece

Deuteronomy 28:20
>The LORD will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of cancelling KOTH for Cleveland Show

>snuck in
Sup Forums is omnipresent, don't fight it.

>family watching Famil Guy on a big screen TV
>50 years ago, this would have been unthinkable!
No fucking duh, Family Guy wouldn't have existed 50 years ago and LED TV's wouldn't even be thought of to watch it on. How can they think of watching both?

His dead soul should be ashamed over this obvious anachronism.

>you can't change what someone is attracted to
With shock therapy anything's possible

>I had to google Jack Chick
... Seriously?

Urge to kill myself rising…

Peter, Chris, and Stewie are abominations, but although I hate to admit it, Lois and Meg actually kinda look cute here

When everything is Sup Forums, then nothing will be.

Genesis 32:24-26

24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.

25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.

26 Then the man said, “AHH.” and did that thing where you suck air in through your teeth, and then he said "Ahh!" and did that thing where you suck air in through your teeth. And he did this long enough that it was no longer funny.

Pol was inside of you all along user
If everything you don't like is pol then you must be pol yourself

if that was true, gay reformation camps would not have a 100% failure rate

What is wrong with you?

>Biblical morality:
>Homosexuality should be a crime punishable by death.

>Secular morality:
>Homosexuals should be free to live their lives how they want, just like everyone else.

Keep that in mind when religious fundamentalists talk about how in the "end times" good will be considered evil and evil will be considered good.

>Not shocking them to death
They were doing it all wrong, the bastards

>I had to google Jack Chick
Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.

This is the next generation of Sup Forums. Around here it's like saying you had to google Stan Lee.

Shocking them? What are you an Electric-type? You're supposed to be stoning them to death.

That's a bit of a false equivalence.

Maybe he's not from a bible thumping state where you can walk into any gas station bathroom and find a Chick tract.

>Lev says eating and touching pork is bad
>Christians eat pork
>Lev says men sleeping with men is bad
>Christians hate lesbians

No that's for adulterous wife

You guys are fucking idiots. You're supposed to put them in gas chambers, fairy types are weak against poison

To be fair shit also gets a lot worse in their other ideas of evil.
Nah it's more likely he doesn't post on Sup Forums which is why he doesn't know of Chick Tracts which have threads constantly

>Satan dishes out super powers to those who spread his name
>God does literally nothing for us in our mortal coil
>Realize Satan could help advance humanity like nobody's business
>Satanic Moon and Mars colonies within the century

This is why the Christian faith doesn't make sense to me. If one really dished out super natural powers a huge portion of the world would be exploiting it. The goat industry would be booming too.

Because Satan's superpowers would probably result in human suffering and in the end you get to suffer for all eternity.

>Lev says eating and touching pork is bad
That's because he never ate saucisson

What's eternity though? When time doesn't matter, bliss and suffering are all equal.

>Satan wouldn't be on board for spiting God by pushing humans along the technology track
>Having humanity jump ship and praise him all day
>Implying our modern capitalist culture wouldn't want powers in the now and care about repercussions later.

he's been infected, he's turning into one of them now, we have to put him down, for his own sake.

What you are both referring to comes from the Faust legend. In truth Satan doesn't grant anyone powers in bargaining for their soul. Rather he just temps people.

Pork stopped giving people trichinosis.
Sodomy went from prolapsing anuses and spreading syphilis, to giving lethal AIDs.

If that's not heavenly clarification, I don't know what is, fag.

years ago, this would have been unthinkable!

I agree, as show as shitty as FG would have never been tolerated 50 years ago.

Oh, you're right. I was thinking of Islam.

says who? why can't existence just keep ducking for all eternity

Do it

>what is the Flintstones
really, the biggest difference between now and then is the greater number of alternatives we have today.

I think the biggest point should be that there were lots of things unthinkable 50 years ago. One very important thing is Blacks having rights.

not if you repent and accept jesus before death

then you get all of Satan's gifts, and don't have to pay him back

or wimmin

or indjuns

or cheenks

or scots

or brits

or canucks

or meezicans

or anyone who AINT USA APPA {IE LUVIN MUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSS

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
USAUSAUSUASUASUASUASUAUSUASUASUASUASUASUSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

actually those last 5 week
regarding probably okay. And maybe the injuns

Now THIS I can believe.

truly repent and accept Christ. The kind of asshole who would accept the devil into his heart for a spaceship doesn't seem the type. Also unexpected death which is probably like 66% of deaths

But what was this an aligory for?

Why are these people so bad at puns?

Straight sex gives AIDS too, Cletus.

If you're fucking a junkie, a nigger, or a monkey.
Which is also a bad idea.
Stop putting baby makers in shit expulsion units.

>Mix up christians and jewish

Weak bait

Post-cold war Russia.

Don't you have a Klan meeting soon, Cletus?

...

Not the first Jack Stan's claimed, and unfortunately not the last.

Sup Forums has the most offsiters joining here from reddit and tumblr.

We opened up every orifice from here to Germany to them.

The last show you watched is now a family guy cutaway. How does it go?

...

Kek

As long as you only want to change somebody's preference to 'potato', sure

Shock therapy doesn't make you straight it creates negative reinforcement every time you feel attraction to the same sex which deters you from looking at them. It's pretty cruel actually. It usually leads to intense self loathing and suicide.

Wow, I always knew it was fucked up, I just never knew exactly why. I learn something new everyday.

Couple things that have always confused me about the Satan God dichotomy

>Wouldn't Satan reward people for doing bad things? Isn't that was he wants people to do?

>If Satan is punishing wicked people isn't he doing the Lords work? What did God do with sinners before Satan created Hell?

Did you never watch A Clockwork Orange?

Peter: "That's sadder than when Buffy the Vampire Slayer died for the 23rd time!"

I'm no theologian, so please correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure God made Hell for Satan to suffer in for all eternity, and Satan tempts people to sin so they would suffer with him.

>Wouldn't Satan reward people for doing bad things? Isn't that was he wants people to do?

He does want people to do bad things, but those bad things are the reward themselves. Satan just persuades people to do bad things.

>If Satan is punishing wicked people isn't he doing the Lords work?

You are correct in this, which is strange because the goal on Satan's side of things is just to separate souls from God by having them break Gods commandments in life. He's just sort of sadistic like that.


What did God do with sinners before Satan created Hell?

Nothing, there was neither a hell or a heaven, just sheol. It was basically like hades. It's never mentioned who created hell. Only that Jesus was the first to speak about it.

Pic related. It's one interpretation of sheol.

Shit, I really wasn't paying attention in religious studies, I never even heard of sheol, the great lovecraftian eyeball worm.

>Wouldn't Satan reward people for doing bad things? Isn't that was he wants people to do?

He does want people to do bad things, but those bad things are the reward themselves. Satan just persuades people to do bad things.

>If Satan is punishing wicked people isn't he doing the Lords work?

You are correct in this, which is strange because the goal on Satan's side of things is just to separate souls from God by having them break Gods commandments in life. He's just sort of sadistic like that.

>What did God do with sinners before Satan created Hell?

Nothing, there was neither a hell or a heaven, just sheol. It was basically like hades. It's never mentioned who created hell. Only that Jesus was the first to speak about it.

Pic related. It's one interpretation of sheol.

I thought all souls went to heaven before Satan was cast out. Then he took the form of a snake and tempted Adam and Eve to break the Lord's command.

As punishment they too were cast out of paradise. Something like that.

Discussing theoloical texts is like discussing ghosts or time travel. It unravels cuz it doesn't make a lick of sense.

Whether or not it's a worm is unknown. We only know that it is a beast with an ever gaping mouth and that it's in water.

These still piss me off. I haven't worked in the food industry in a while but getting tipped in Chick comics and false/counterfeit $20 bills with Bible verses on them made me hate working Wednesdays and Sundays in Texas. Black Christians wouldn't give you anything. White Christians would just get your hopes up for no reason.

This is the cosmology of Judaism.

Basically Sheol is a place underground where the dead would toil like they did in life. It later became a hell where you're in a prison in the mouth of a giant monster in water where you serve a sentence for your sins. By then the notion of heaven existed. Well, heaven always sort of existed but it was only for God and his angels.

Man, I am screwing up left and right. Here it is.

Since nobody knows how Satan works:
>Satan was an angel who offended God (I think for not respecting mankind, but that might just be from paradise lost)
>Satan is punished for eternity in Hell
>Satan DOES NOT rule Hell
>Satan tempts mortals to sin, not because he loves evil or some shit, but because misery loves company and he wants others to suffer with him
Being "an angent of satan" or whatever the fuck is just silly. You trade finite gain for infinite suffering. If you don't believe in God or Satan in the first place, of course, different story.

That's still dumb
>God gives humans free will
>Punishes them immensely for not following his rules
>Doesn't stick around to make sure that his rules are well known and followed
Isn't the bible just one big game of telephone

>you can't change what someone is attracted to one way or the other
doesn't stop people from trying to change me

That I can give you. There are "explanations" for that, but they aren't really satisfactory. I just don't like "lol why don't Satan reward you for evil, he lieks evils right?" because even a basic understanding of theology answers the question.

I watched to the part of them breaking and entering the ladie's house and on to the end. But, if I'm not mistaken, they didn't use electroshock therapy. Didn't they just have him watch shit and listen to a Mozart piece? Anyway, I understand now it's a similar method. But, if I'm also not mistaken, isn't electroshock therapy used for people with severe cases of depression and other mental illnesses?

That first part reminds me of Islam.

I think it's in Isaiah where Lucifer is banished to hell for trying to usurp God.

You think THAT's bad, remember the time I was on wikihow?

...

How does the concept of free will exist when god already knows what you're doing to do before you do it?

Did you ever have free will if your actions are already known?

>Think it's a dollar bill
>Says some shit about the wealth being inside you

And the Lord sayeth "Purple Monkey Dishwasher"

In Clockwork Orange they play his favourite music while showing him distressing imagery so that he connects things he used to like (Mozart, rape, vandalism) with physical pain.

I've never heard of electroshock being used for depressives. That sounds like the worst thing to do for someone with depression.

Imma zap you till you cheer the fuck up

IIRC, this was the article on understanding randum XD1!! humour

I thought the bible forbid being a faggot

>I had to google Jack Chick
Dear God, are you serious?

well I don't think you should use a flick from the 70s as your reference for medical science