“Trillions of prayers — new car, success etc. Usually on Sunday—His day off! Why are these people praying when God has a divine plan? How arrogant of them. Do they expect God to change His plan because of their prayers…and what if prayers were not answered?…”
By the time I was 16 years old, listening to my first friend's Carlin albums and trying to keep my fake smile in place, I'd already heard, or made, most of Carlin's religion "jokes". I mean, this one, I'd already had those sort of thoughts when I was NINE folks...And people were paying him to listen to these?
Sometimes, unlike Carlin, I actually thought more seriously about those questions and actually tried to think of an answer instead of ponder about pseudo-philosophically pretending I was deep. (Seriously, dude: the only people who EVER think of God as "a bearded man in the sky" are... angry atheists like you.)
I ignored Carlin most of the time, but like so many old hippies, he just wouldn't go away. And he never got funnier.
"And I think people have a lot of nerve locking up a tiger and charging four dollars to let a few thousand worthless humans shuffle past him every day. What a shi**y thing to do. Humans must easily be the meanest species on Earth. Probably the only reason there are any tigers left is because they don't taste good."
"Eating meat is one thing, but this whole beef-rancher-manure-cattle-hamburger side show is a different skillet of sh** altogether. Each year, Americans eat 38 billion hamburgers. It takes 2,500 gallons of water to produce one pound of red meat. Cattle consume one half of all the fresh water consumed on Earth. If Americans reduced their meat intake by just 10%..."
These are the jokes, people..."I'll be here all week -- DON'T try the veal"?
George Carlin was one of the most overrated comics in the history of comedy. He's like Dane Cook for grown-ups that like to pretend they're mature. There I said it.
