What are you seeing tonight, sir? No date, huh... must be Blade Runner. Well anyways, enjoy the movie :)

What are you seeing tonight, sir? No date, huh... must be Blade Runner. Well anyways, enjoy the movie :)

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How dare you talk to me.

you too

N-no, my gf is just getting a few things
*buys 2 tickets to avoid embarassment*

Might I ask where Robert is, Adrienne?

Fuck off roastie wheres Robert

Is it true that you have the rare Green Icee, Adrienne?

You’re a 4/10 and I’m being nice

...

Now that you mention it, I could use a date to this film if you'd be so inclined. *unzips dick and crosses arms*

>unzips dick
what the fuck?

Imagine yourself walking alone in a desert, Adrienne. You come upon a tortoise that has been flipped upside down. Why are you not helping it, Adrienne?

Imagine that someone gave you a calfskin wallet, would you accept, Adrienne?

You have a little boy- he shows you his butterfly collection along with the killing jar. What do you do, Adrienne?

You're so fucking smug but I know for a fact your boyfriend Brad is fucking your best friend. Yeah, he's fucking Brooke because unlike you, she's not a fucking bitch and isn't an ugly piece of shit either. Suck on that. Better go get your things from his apartment.

>unzips dick
Holy shit how, that's fucking disgusting. I bet they tried to do that in The Thing.

Talk to me again and it's instant death

what kind of retarded theatre owner would make their female employees dress like that?

imagine how many single tickets they could sell if she was a bikini usher

Apparently every single theater owner ever because only a drooling idiot would pay to watch a movie just because pretty girl was offering tickets

Where the fuck is my nigga Robert at?

Robert is dead

You're the prettiest boy I've ever seen. May I have my fucking popcorn now, you chinless cunt?

Last thing JFK ever saw.

Sir is reserved for over 30 year olds, then again Sup Forums looks like shit irl

...

Wait, your theater doesn't have a no singles policy? Where do you live? I've been wanting to see Blade Runner, but haven't figured out how to get around the no singles policy yet.

*grabs you by the throat*
BACK THE FUCK OFF?!

/ourguy/ spotted

Same, I've tried everything and I almost always get kicked out one way or another.
>tried to buy two tickets and say I was meeting someone, something almost always goes wrong like the ticket seller blindsinding me with "SO WHAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND'S NAME" and me fumbling on making up a guy name but then realized my mistake and tried to correct myself with a girl name because I'm straight and just making a fool of myself for what felt like forever
>sidled up to the group in front of me hoping the ticker-taker would just think I'm one of them, he said "you and your boyfriend have fun" to the girl in front of me and she yelled "EW NO" while side-eyeying me with disgust which blew my cover and everyone laughed at me
>tried to get my dad to go with me and stay in the theater long enough for the movie to start, after he left they rearranged people's seating because it was a packed house and realized I was there alone
I wish they would let me be, I just want to watch movies.

I think most theaters waive the policy for extra-fedora movies like BR. I mean, it's not like people are taking their girlfriends to see it, so they've got to make that money somehow.

Poor man's Tane.

no

Be honest, most of us would fuck her and be grateful

...

turn 360 degree, then 720 more.

>last weekend, walking into theater with my Starbucks coffee that I JUST bought
>attendant stops me, says I cannot bring any food into the theater
>"What are you actually going to do?"
>Walk right past him, sit down in my seat
>Take off my glasses in case he wishes to pursue me with reinforcements and a description of my visage.
>Watch the first 30 minutes of the film in blurred definition

You don’t... remember... do you user

Sir the rent-a-date aisle is over there.

This video has been completely misinterpreted. This is a male tortoise that just knocked over the female tortoise to wear her out so he can fuck her.

Robert nooooooooo!

You must have lots of friends

Thankfully we got Big Concession Nigga to take over

Sorry it hurts your fee fees so bad, but it's true.

You're going to be replaced by a machine, roastie.

I'd fuck her

No-singles is a meme, but it is also actually real.

In Thailand they have scheduled screenings that are for couples only. You cannot buy a single ticket. Thai's are very reasonable people, and long ago figured out that it is nicer to take a date out and not be bothered by screaming children or glares from dried up roasties.

They also have these fucking awesome reclining loveseats that have a flip down middle armrest, and a bunch of space between the seats so that you have relative privacy from other couples. The theater is full of asian teenagers making out and feeling each other up, and a few fat old sex tourists knuckle deep in their teenage (18+ of course) 'dates'.

Not everybody is getting it on, but its definitely the reason for the 'couples only' screening. Good on the Thai's for encouraging pair-bonding like that.

...

Not even a thank you.

Your newfag is showing.

>tried to buy two tickets and say I was meeting someone, something almost always goes wrong like the ticket seller blindsinding me with "SO WHAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND'S NAME" and me fumbling on making up a guy name but then realized my mistake and tried to correct myself with a girl name because I'm straight and just making a fool of myself for what felt like forever
>sidled up to the group in front of me hoping the ticker-taker would just think I'm one of them, he said "you and your boyfriend have fun" to the girl in front of me and she yelled "EW NO" while side-eyeying me with disgust which blew my cover and everyone laughed at me

Normgroids are truly fucking evil.

I'm just here to use the bathroom *shits on the floor* clean it up

[visibly enraged, pull down my pants and just start wanking it right in the lobby in front of that bitch, never once breaking eye contact with her]

Based Thailand

By best gay sex was a college student from Thailand. They have uncut penises.

i saw this movie with my gf tho

ree

I hate to tell you this, but it's not gay if its with a thai.

At least I don't wear men's clothes

Well that's ok, I don't really care either way. Sex is sex.

Did you leave her and get an AI gf instead?

when it becomes a possibility I might

Your baby, spitroasted by female hyenas.

did the dude just stand there and film that shit? really?

I assume he was the one that flipped it over to see what the other would do

i went to watch blade runner with my mom

sad but true

>Since you bought 2 tickets, would you like to buy our Couple special? 2 Large drinks and popcorns for double the price of course, he-he... Also the condom machine is out of order but we have some xtra-small ones under the counter.

>tfw this crap is the only thing close to being an AI gf and it's not even on the market yet

Blade Runner? No. I was going to see Tuntematon Sotilas
youtube.com/watch?v=Yu9Q2ZHfROM

Where's Robert? I want Robert.

N-noooo ;_;

>go to BR2049 on a workweek day
>Sup Forums said its a movie better to watch alone
>women don't watch 2049
>it's better to watch it on a workweek day
You lied to me you cunts. The hall was filled with couples and big groups of people.

It should have been me...

...

s shut up r roatsie

Is that what happens when user pretends to be buying pop corn for his friends ?

And they all saw through your social awkwardness and virginity.

Only faggots wear sandals.

if Robert was still alive he'd know what to do in this situation

>Corpse isn't wearing a uniform
Robert's alive

Robert changed into casual attire when his shift was over

Wait, this is actually a thing? I thought it was just a meme. Sucks to be you I guess, I go to the cinema alone all the time.

lmao what's the big deal, just go back to robert and he'll give you a refill

>when his shift was over
user, I..

My cinema stopped playing Blade Runner and I missed it

>they all saw through your social awkwardness and virginity.

*he thought to himself as he scurried past, eyes locked on the floor*

Why do virgins punch way above their league? Is it a defense mechanism?

Is this a metaphor for permavirgins who think girls owe them sex?

do you want to be my date?
I mean we're already here together right?
ehehe.

What's being retarded like?

because nobody likes ugly people you dumb fuck
good for you if you hit the genetic lottery but you can't expect ugly people to be naturally attracted to people in their league

if it's any consolation, this is a lie.
a very common symptom of social anxiety as well as other mental health issues is feeling like everyone is always watching you in public and can see past anything you do.
You feel like an intruder even when you're just in public like everyone else, you feel like your every action is being hyper-scrutinized by everyone else.
No one knows who you are, what you do, where you're going and even if you're some ugly neckbeard no one cares.

Guess who pissed when nobody was watching in that spot? After all, the costumer is always right so I can piss wherever I want after my 2 liters of Pepsi.
Blame it on wagecucks who should have cleaned immediately my puddle...

popcorn is $25 in america so he dropped over $100 on the floor.

the tortoise on its back is a male

You pay 25, but they buy it in for like 3 cents

I took my gf to watch Blade runner, she hadnt seen the original.
She loved it.

Say that to the women who demanded that virginity detectors must be installed to the cinema here. They started beeping when I walked past the doors with no intention of going in.

I can't even buy food from my local store, they go immediately on orange alert as I step in.

Someone with skills please shoop robert and some crablegs into this.

>rent a date theatres
This is a great idea. Imagine the money.