Build me a LOTR thread, worthy of Mordor

Build me a LOTR thread, worthy of Mordor.

Other urls found in this thread:

eurogamer.net/articles/2017-08-15-why-shelob-is-a-woman-in-shadow-of-war
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Eagles thread, Refugees thread or Tax thread.

Choose now.

did sauronman have a wife?

...

Why didn't the refugees just take the eagles to Gondor?

No, but I'm sure he got some uruk-hai pussy on the side.

I choose Galadriel's feet

How would you do a high quality Silmarillion tv show?

The main part of the story takes place over a 500 year period, let alone the few thousand before the rising of the sun and moon.

Would you start with the creation of music or the awakening of the elves or even just the creation of the Simarils?

I choose...a daring synthesis

Pilot episode starts with the creation of course. And it must be a musical. And for 2 hours at least.

I'd rather have it go full interpretive with a musical. That would have enough freedom to gloss over a lot without "leaving everything out"

I would make it one hour episodes which are semi-standalone. Of course the story progresses, but episodes like feanors madman quest or beren and luthien are isolated enough for a single episode. Maybe do a two parter for the longer ones.

The creation would have to be a voice-over. I don't see another way without taking WAY too much liberty.

The main issue would be the visuals of a world without a sun and moon, with instead two giant trees for light. It's seriously hard to imagine what that would even look like and it would be hard in terms of CGI.

>uruk-hai pussy
>uruk-hai
For what purpose

What's the most disturbing thing about this image?
>Why did they need such a massive Gandalf stunt double?
>Why is Ian McKellen's Gandalf wearing one black shoe?

Who here loves watched the Appendices?
I never get bored with them, you get to see the whole process of making LotR, from set building to costume designing, to music, and lots of behind-the-scenes camaraderie between all the actors. It's incredibly comfy and also interesting to see what effort goes into making those movies.

>Why did they need such a massive Gandalf stunt double?
To stand next to hobbit stunt double obviously. Use your noggin, user.

Hobbit scenes, dude.

I knew that, I just wanted to see if it got more responses.
The other question isn't really interesting, I just thought the image was funny.

why didnt they get the hobbits to kneel?

Good choice.

Because they had to pay a flying tax to get there so they went on boats to the river instead.

Tactical throwing shoe, he's wearing a normal shoe under it.
Since he's not allowed to cast fireballs, Gandalf has to think of something else to throw

Look at him all happy and smiling with his stunt doubles, which enabled him to act with Hobbits etc.
Then cut to the Hobbit trilogy where he breaks down in tears because he's forced into a tiny room covered in green screen "acting" to a tennis ball with a picture of Martin Freeman on it.

How would the one ring's influence effect someone who is already entirely evil?

Yes how else did they breed the uruk hais?

Kind of depends on their innate powers. Another divine being like Sauron would just take his place. A human would become a tyrannical despot and a lesser being would become another Gollum.

By having orcs rape human women.

You now realize that every scene where Gandalf is on horseback is performed by a stunt double and you never see his face while he rides.

are uruks half human or half wizard?

So was middle-earth, earth prime all along or is it another planet altogether?

Earth prime, that's why there are so many references to the age of men, the elves leaving, and so on.

How the fuck did this scene end in anything other than the Witch King taking the ring?

How would you have filmed that scene?

Earth prime. We're supposed to be living in the Fifth Age by now.

Because it isnt in the books and movie scripts are generally not good and full of holes.

What does Sup Forums think about Shadow of Mordor/War?

George Lucas stole a lot of ideas from, LOTR.
Luke=frodo
obi1=gandalf
han=aragorn
gay robots=gay hobbits

>tfw you realise the morality of the Sauron won

It's the video game right? I liked the design of the Balrog but that's about all I know. Didn't they turn Shelob into a milf?

Just as good as the movies, inferior to the books

Tolkien compared the modern world more to Saruman than Sauron. He said something like "When I look around the world today I see that Sauron has no equal, but Saruman has many apprentices."

Shadow of Mordor was really repetitive, even with the nemesis system, but at its core it was a fun game. Basically Assassin's Creed: Middle-Earth.

>Didn't they turn Shelob into a milf?
Yeah they did, they also defended it by claiming that Shelob is the unsung hero of LOTR. Yes really.

On the spot what’s the best line in the entire trilogy?

>I would have followed you my brother, my captain...my king.

>they also defended it by claiming that Shelob is the unsung hero of LOTR.
What? Explain this please.

Earth Prime.
>Aman= North and South America
>Middle Earth = Western Europe
>East = Eastern Europe and Asia
>Dark Lands and Hither Lands = Africa
We are currently living in the 5th age.

I still pick up and play Shadow of Mordor because I'm too poor to run / buy the new one

>muh brotha my nigga my kang

>It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. That there is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.

SoW is exactly the same as mirror which isn't a bad thing. Story is pretty meh until the final act, hidden ending is really good

>galadriel is supposed to be beautiful
>hire an ugly old hag to play her

>"Firstly, it's important to understand that de Plater's approach to Shelob comes from an interpretation that she and Gollum are, in fact, the unsung heroes of The Lord of the Rings.
>Put simply, it's his take that Frodo fails to cast the ring into the fires of Mount Doom at the crucial moment - instead Gollum succeeds where he cannot (albeit tumbling into the fire himself along the way). According to de Plater, that weakness in Frodo was something Shelob sensed, making a pact with Gollum and hastening him on his way to Mount Doom and the final confrontation that saw the ring destroyed. It also goes some way to explaining why Shelob tried to eat Frodo in The Two Towers."

eurogamer.net/articles/2017-08-15-why-shelob-is-a-woman-in-shadow-of-war
They also defended her ability to change shape as that of an inherited trait from her mother, Ungoliant.

>Where does my allegiance lie, if not here? This is the city of the men of Numenor. I would gladly give my life to defend her beauty, her memory, her wisdom...

Considering Sauron was pursuing a policy of rapid industrialisation, what do you think his tax model was?

100% of all income goes to Sauron

no taxes whatsoever
they hurt capitalism

>Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.

But Mordor is a shithole

Imagine being as gay as this user.

No taxes. Sauron was an Ancap, styling himself as a CEO and sole proprietor of middle earth with its citizens being his property.

They kneel to no one

>proceeds to slaughter millions of sentient Uruk-hai

Sauron owns every single grain of sand within his realm, private property doesn't exist, you only live to work for his glory. Your use runs out when your body gives up. Kind of like 1984 meets a bee colony.

At its best when it doesn't meddle with the 'high canon' (the Rings, Sauron, etc.) but when it does it feels like fanfiction.

Does a surprisingly good job of fleshing out Orcs without making them carton villains or overly humanizing them, at least the first one.

> moshi moshi baito desu

...

>I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
> So do Alwo Livtocesu, Chtymesbutté Datiznoth, Fordemdode'ayd Alwë, Av'dòisse de Coyde, Watto du Wittë, Dimedatiz Givhen "Tousse" Deraroth Erffources, Atvorkin Tiswold, Frodo Besiddins, Devil of Evil, Bilbo Wasmint, Duphaunde Ringin, Witch Caseyo, Wheralzomeent Dohavit and Datizan Encuradgingougt.
Absolute kino line, and a Silmarillion reference.

bravo jackson!!

What? That's goddamn retarded. Even if Shelob somehow sensed Frodo's inability to pay with the ring, how would Gollum have gotten to mount doom if she had eaten Frodo? Not to mention Gollum didn't exactly part voluntarily with the ring either. Eru pushed him.
And where did Ungoliant ever change shape?

Wrong, Orks are just cheap expendable labor force. Real Sauron's economy flourish in Harad and Rhun.

Mah nigga, really love that part

In battle. Gandalf never kills prisoners and non threats

But Sauron's approach was much more like Stalinist communalism than capitalism, user. Orcs probably had the best welfare program in all of Middle-Earth, at the cost of a few hundred entrepeneuring Orcs' private businesses, artesan shops, etc. being seized

do they tax the orc restaurants too?

So I know Uruk-hai pop out of the fucking ground but do the other orcs breed?

Old good fashioned orc-fucking.

>And where did Ungoliant ever change shape?
She didn't. There is nothing to suggest she is anything but a very large and nasty spider that just so happens to be a child of Ungoliant. She's an oversized animal, nothing more. Hell, Sauron even calls her his "cat". That's the limit of their relationship. He feeds her prisoners from time to time and she guards an entrance into Mordor in return.

Tolkien in his letters suggested orks probably have females but due to geography of the story we have never met them.

It says in the Silmarillion that "the orcs had life and multiplied after the manner of the Children of Iluvatar". So they reproduced sexually like humans and elves.

I bet they're THICC

Those were abolished, instead there are communal dining halls. Makes it much easier to enforce an import tariff on man-flesh and increase autarky that way

On the same note, why the fuck are there so few elves if all they have to do is fuck eachother

So at the end of the day why do orcs never rebel? I can't imagine it's a nice existence, living in Mordor.

Why wasn't he invisible?

Maybe sex isn't fun for them?

If only Tolkien had written a lengthy explanation of her mind and of her as being creature capable only of eating and growing insatiably that directly contradicts all of this...
Oh wait

He was very arrogant.

Glorious numenorian steal.

Sauron basically mind controls them to a certain extent. That's why they start becoming more dangerous all over Middle-Earth when he returns, and it's why they run away when he dies. Also where the hell are they going to go without Sauron? Do you think Gondor and Rohan are going to wave "Refugees Welcome" flags and hire orcs to work in their shops or on their farms?

I don’t think they’re so few elves, it’s more so few elves left in Middle Earth. Most have left to Valinor. There’s probably a large population there.

By that logic every spider on middle earth is a Shapeshifter

Elves are pretty asexual. Being immortal means that there is very little incentive to breed. They have a child or two at a certain point in life, and while they do enjoy childrearing and family life, they are generally more in tune with artistic and spiritual pursuits. The only elf I know of that have gotten more than three kids is Feanor, and he was special in more ways than one.

Because he exists between 2 worlds simultaneously

But in the case of shadow of war, wasn't the human able to become an equal to sauron without the ring?

kek

>should we fuck sauron up
>nah lmao lets go to the retirement home

Twilight Zone style Anthology series

Orcs are cowardly and opportunistic by nature. But they will never ever reach a point where they can seriously threaten Sauron. In fact he is the only one who can elevate them to a state beyond petty tribal conflicts and banditry. Orcs live for battle and Sauron gives them plenty of it. It is also heavily implied that he influences them through some sort of telepathy and when that link is broken they panic and become "mindless". It's like killing a queen bee. The workers will start cannibalising their own larvae and destroy the colony from within.

It’s men who must finish the fight ya ninny. They’re the ones responsible for Sauron coming back.

Pretty sure his brothers had each 4 kids