Will mankind ever come up with something funnier than monkey news?

Will mankind ever come up with something funnier than monkey news?

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youtu.be/smh4p-7hGWw
youtube.com/watch?v=3HnxHeZ6mqU
youtube.com/watch?v=Se2RN1t-XVI
youtube.com/watch?v=4xz88x0mm9Q
youtube.com/watch?v=Xw2bTpyHGCE
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What about Karl's Diary?

Karl on the XFM/podcasts is amazing, and at face value he might be the funnies person I've ever seen, but my enjoyment is always put off because I can never be positive that he's not acting at all.

How much of Monkey News was true?

>Received a letter in the post. It said, "To Our Valued Customer", and it was addressed... to Mr. Dilkington.

you calling Karl a liar?

All of it

KARL YOURE A MANIAC

Monkey news was always the least enjoyable part of those shows imo.

Anyone always hate the "Dicky Anderson" bits on XFM? Idk, just seems super forced and inauthentic to me...

The one charity special bit where Karl says he wouldn't give food to a starving African is pure laughkino.

I thought the "Karl designs the ultimate animal" segment was hilarious

I didn't care much for it either, it got repetitive really quick.

I'm just waiting for this new show he's making, any idea when it's out?

always gets my in hysterics, I don't know why it's so goddamned funny

Nothing will ever beat the pure kino that is Richard Anderson returning the office at Christmas.

>something funnier than monkey news?
Educating Ricky.

>"Can I have a sandwich?"
>"Where's ya brother?"
>"Oh, he died"

We did and it was called Rockbusters
youtu.be/smh4p-7hGWw

O: Do tell.

What's the best Monkey News and why is it the London Bike Race
youtube.com/watch?v=3HnxHeZ6mqU
>so anyway she's cycling along and this tricycle

I'd argue this is the finest moment on the XFM show or podcasts. Might have even been the first Monkey News, not sure.

youtube.com/watch?v=Se2RN1t-XVI

>Right, so there's this, Hitler fella...

Turns out...little monkey fella innit

>we should put a giant mirror on the moon to reflect the earth back at us
>KARL YOU STUPID IDIOT YOU ABSOLUTE KNOB YOU CAN'T PUT A MIRROR ON THE MOON BECAUSE THE MOON ROTATES YOU DUMB TWAT
fuck ricky

Yeah, typical atheist.

erm... so there's this pilot right

ricky is so insecure about appearing smart that he immediately backtracks when that bloke calls in, even though the caller is talking rubbish as well

>O: Do tell.
What?

>there’s a bank robbery going on
>suddenly doors open
>little monkey walks in

>and see the little monkey fella, he types out on the computer, "my name is marty, this is not a practical joke"

>karl, did you happen to notice the date this article was written
>april 1st

>are you sayin' the monkey knew it was april fools and pulled this prank?

cheeky freak of the week was better desu

I wouldn't hold it against him. That caller supposedly had a relevant degree and Ricky didn't. It's not unreasonable to feel insecure.

My favourite one will always be the one where a mans robbing a bank, ricky just keeps asking about the size of this man, and then karl reveals a monkey comes in (not sure whether its withdraw or collect) and takes the money, and as soon as he says 'doors swing open, monkey walks in' ricky just says 'oh god its worse'

Most of them are true to a degree
Not sure about the one where a 86 (the magician who called his monkey a number because there was too many monkeys) stole a car and drove off the spain.

The best segment was obviously cheap as chimps

all this time I thought he was saying "cheapest chimps"

I'm pretty sure the Chimp Eye Surgery is bullshit.

I love how he comes up with the name first and then tries to construct a game around it
I wish they gave big mother a go

Im sure there must be a grain of truth in all these
Chances are with that one the surgeon had a pet chimp in the operating theatre and karl decided that wasnt interesting enough

>Chimp doctors

DICKERS

Rock Busters > Karl's Diary >>> Monkey News

>God, you can make a right load of toast with them.
>G
>Gorillaz
HOW?

I'm sure most of them do have a grain of truth and that Karl embellished the stories.
I'm also pretty sure a surgeon wouldn't have a pet chimp in an operating theatre, think about it.

THE DICKMEISTER GENERAL

My favourite part about rockbusters is the progression of the attitude from ricky and steve.
Season 2 is obviously where it started, fairly early on. Ricky and steve liked it and though some of the clues didnt work, it was a laugh.
Mid to late season 2 is where it gets really funny. The clues get worse and worse and its cancelled multiple times, with karl bringing it back saying it was just being rested. They must've cancelled it 5 times but karl always managed to get it back in, presumably because his other games were a lot worse (songs of phrase for example).
By the middle of season 3, you can just hear how defeated ricky is. He barely even bothers to argue. When it comes to rockbusters, karls like a hyperactive kid and rickys like his single mother who hasnt got enough sleep. In the beginning she tried to put him straight, but in the end she gave up and let him run amok.

Thats certainly more plausible than a chimp being the surgeon though isnt it.

>Thats certainly more plausible than a chimp being the surgeon though isnt it.
Obviously. But again, no surgeon would keep a chimp in an operating theatre. Do you have any idea what the strict rules and regulations on cleanliness are in an operating room?

Either Karl made it up, or he mistook something, but there definitely wasn't a chimp present in the procedure, either operating or as a pet.

I know you're just 16, but looking all of 21 that's BECAAAAUSE the chiiiiiiiiiiiiineeeeeeeese look OLDERRR

Are you familiar with the phrase "monkey business"

Your assuming this was in the west where those strict rules do certainly exist. And I specifically said operating theatre, whereas really I shouldnt have. This could be just a dodgy backstreet 'surgeon' who happens to have a pet chimp.

I'm not saying thats certainly the case however, Im just trying to find the grain of truth in karls story. It might just be made up though, but its a bit more fun to think about how karl could be getting confused

...

...

The bit where Karl is about to say the Chinese all look the same and then Ricky interupts is comedy platinum

little monkey prostitute

new show? please don't ruse me user

Tbh everything that isn't karl centric is kind of shit

I meant I had no idea he was in the process of doing a new show.

monky thinks hes found a big orange

From what I've read it seems like a mix of curb and peep show, written by and starring Karl

Karl's working on an original show which features himself playing a fictionalised version of himself. Apparently it's based on an alternate reality where Karl never met with Ricky and Steve. It's called something like "Fed Up" I think. He's writing it himself. I'm very much looking forward to it.

I googled it and it's actually called Sick of It apparently. No real news on when it will air on tv

>OH MY GOD! YOU ARE A ABSOLUTE MANIAC HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE THIS STUPID YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE SERIOUS ABOUT ALL THIS MADNESS

Ricky ruined the whole thing for me

Grillers

...

Sounds pretty good or a terrible cash-grab, idk =/

Before the thread dies, Just going to post this in case someone somehow hasn't seen it:

youtube.com/watch?v=4xz88x0mm9Q

and a classic: youtube.com/watch?v=4xz88x0mm9Q

Fuck my life. First one was meant to be this:
youtube.com/watch?v=Xw2bTpyHGCE

I have faith in it because it's just Karl and the team behind Moaning of Life. Karl was much more based and funny without Ricky and Steve taking the piss out of him.
It's his own little project, with no interference or unjustified mocking.

nice, never knew about this one. thanks

If you gave infinite monkeys infinite typewriters, one of them would eventually write something funnier than monkey news

I think Karl finds these stories online and either over embellishes them or misunderstands them, making the stories a lot more ridiculous than they originally were

>curb your enthusiasm but with Karl Pilkington
my body is ready

>That bin rant

It sounds pretty great I have to say.

even if he is acting, it's still genius

>What seems to be the problem?
>it's my anus
>Of course it is
lost my shit there

Get your knickers off

If you gave infinite monkeys infinite typewriters, everything they wrote would be monkey news