Riddle me this, Dork Knight!

Riddle me this, Dork Knight!

The

You're getting sloppy in your old age, Nygma. Everyone knows that "The" is usually prefaced before one of my better known sobriquets: "The Dark Knight". And I couldn't help but notice that you happened to call me "Dork Knight" instead. A quaint little insult from the mouths of any other rogue, Nygma, but not from you. Coming from you, it's just another clue from your wayward, self-sabotaging psyche.

You replaced the "A" with an "O" and both "A" and "O" are vowels. Which calls to mind the remaining vowels: "U" "I" and "E". I other words, the acronym for "User Interface Engineering".

This is where you really tipped your hand, Nygma. Even a simple Wikipedia search would tell you that User Interface Engineering is the design of user interfaces for machines and software, such as computers, home appliances, mobile devices, and other electronic devices, with the focus on maximizing usability and the user experience. Did you think I wouldn't notice that there was a recent release of a popular cell phone brand just last week?

And when you go back to your use of "Dork Knight" over, say, "Worlds Greatest Defective", your motivations become clear: you plan to use tiny bombs implanted in these phones to detonate them at the stroke of midnight.

You were almost clever, Nygma. But you forgot a well-known rule of vowel usage: sometimes all you need is the "Y": the rest comes naturally.

>12 minutes
He can't keep getting away with it!

Oh, good show, Bats! Old Eddie must be losing his touch! Maybe I ought to give a shot at this. Hmm, let's see...

Where do young birds go to have a good time?

I HAVE YOU NOW, RIDDLER!
The letter T, the letter H, and the letter E are the 20th 8th and 5th letters of the modern alphabet.
20-8-5=7
Lucky Number 7 is the racehorse expected to win the Metropolis Derby this Friday, which is being held at a racetrack owned by notorious monster Torbias Whale.
And it is a widely thought myth that Dork actually means whale penis, but it does not!

My God, The Riddler is planning to rob the racetrack during the event, and cause a multi-city wide mob war!
HE HAS TO BE STOPPED

DAMN YOU JOKER, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?! DO YOU WANT ME TO KILL YOU?! WE'RE LOCKED IN AN ENDLESS CONFLICT BETWEEN CHAOS AND ORDER AND THE ONLY END IN SIGHT IS THAT FINALLY FALL INTO THE INKY DARKNESS! WHEN WILL THE MADNESS STOP, JOKER? WHEN WILL YOU HAVE YOUR LAST LAUGH?!?!

Your mind games are ever so cratfy, Riddler, you fiend. However, you've made a fatal mistake.

You didn't add the proper ponctuation at the end of the word "The" to indicate that the sentence was over. It is known that in certain ideogram-based cultures the word equivalents are arranged in an order different from the ones normalized by the English language. One of such cultures is the Egyptian, and not so coincidentally there is an Egyptian exihibit at the Gotham City Museum.

Furthermore, by placing the "the" before the words where it could logically be placed in the preceding sentence - "the" riddle, "the" dork and "the" knight - It becomes clear you have referencing to the three most valuable items at the exihibit: The Tablet of Seti, which is known to contain the musings of the pharaohs... Riddles, one could say...; the statue of the Watcher of the Nile, a dutiful observer and researcher of the river flows... A dork by the modern standards of study, one could say...; and the Sword of Ra, said to be a powerful weapon reserved only for the soldier whose lifelong mission was to guard the realm: A knight, certainly.

But that's not the end of your devilish scheme! The remaining words are "me" and "this", "me" obviously referring to you and "this" referring to the treasures you aspire to steal, which are all held in the same location within the museum. They are laid you in a semi-circular pattern, and by geographically arranging the placement of the "me" within the spatial equivalent of the sentence, one can only deduce you are right at the center of the museum, disguised as an unsuspecting tourist, ready to strike!

The authorities have been notified, Nygma. The only relic you'll find are the trusty handcuffs through which you've been led to Arkham Asylum many times in the past.

Oh, Batsy, I can't laugh before you do! You still haven't solved my riddle! If you're such a great detective, this should be easy!

Where do young birds go to have a good time?

War of jokes and riddles mini when?

Birds never have a good time.

Trust me on this.

testing

Give up? The answer is...

DELET THIS

WAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA

It's been a while since you reared your head Nygma.

You spoilered your words. In order to spoiler your words on this board, you need to use the keys 'ctrl' and 's'
The 'ctrl' key was first used for teletyping systems, where certain commands were mapped into the American Standard Code for Information Interchange, or ASCII. In an ASCII file each alphabetic, numeric, or special character is represented with a 7-bit binary number.
And we all know that the letter 's' is the 19th letter in the alphabet.

Here's where you really slipped up.

The word The is English and English is of course a descendant of Proto-Indo-European languages.
It was first attributed to the 15th century English linguist William Caxton who imported typesets from Europe. Caxton was most notably a England's first printer.

And therein lies the rub - the only printing press still functioning in Gotham City today is the Gazette.
So, we can therefore deduce that you plan to blow up the Gotham Gazette on 19th July.

You should have stayed hidden Eddie. Now the only thing waiting for you when you get there will be Commissioner Gordorn and the GCPD's finest waiting to arrest you.

You magnificent bastard

Good one, Mistah J!

ITT: Batman Inc.

Wait, so which one is it?
Is it the cell phones, the racetrack, the museum or the gazette?

That's just it, Jonah.

It's none of them.

The Riddler's motivations are rarely as simple as they appear on the surface. The cell phones, the race track, the museum and the gazette were all red herrings intending to distract from his real target of the night:

The Riddler plans to shitpost on an anonymous internet message board!

I must be seeing double...

EIGHT Batmen?

Maybe it's all of them.
We got 3 Jokers. WHO KNOWS HOW MANY RIDDLERS WE ENDED UP WITH.

...

This is Gotham, there is a very good chance that it's all of them at once.

Holy fappening, Batman! We must stop the Riddler from getting (you)s!

Robin, don't you see what you've done?! You got dubs! This is exactly what the Riddler wanted to happen! You're feeding into his master plan to be the undoing of this quaint anonymous internet message board!

Read the thread, old chum. We are already too late.

Looks like that dastardly deuce finally pulled a fast one on us. He won.

This may be The Riddler's GREATEST PLAN OF ALL.
He has somehow obtained a device that can send a message through the entire multiverse, causing mass confusion for the Batmen.

We have to stop the Riddler, BUT WHICH EARTH IS HE ON?

Now Batman, now is not the time for fear... That comes later.

Nice digits
Almost too nice...

Don't worry, Batman! I'll use my telepathic powers to locate the Rid-AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Don't worry, Batman! I'll run up to him really fast and- WOAAAAAAH!

That's the power of the Riddler - obfuscation! At least, it would be for a mind that isn't trained in such matters

The cellphone was first invented by an employee of the Motorola company, Martin Cooper, in 1973.
Horseracing is a popular pastime that originally began in 18th century England before becoming an annual event that was founded by one of her late Queens.
In 1925, archaeologist Leonard Woolley discovered the world's first museum which had been constructed by the Babylonians.
And finally, we all know very well that the most noted reporter of the Gotham Gazette is Vicki Vale.

And thus his plan becomes apparent!
The Riddler plans to heinously murder Vicki Vale, using her cellphone as the instrument of her demise while she's out of the city visiting the Musuem of the Babylonian Queen Semiramis.

Too bad for him she'll be safe and sound in the Batcave. The only call Riddler will be making will be to his lawyer.

ITT: Riddles on Infinite Earths

Oh for fuck's sake!
Don't you ever take a day off!?

batman sucks

nygma pls