A major studio offers you $100 million to adapt a classic fairytale into a feature film

A major studio offers you $100 million to adapt a classic fairytale into a feature film.
How would you do it? Which fairytale do you pick? Will the film be aimed at children or general audiences or adults specifically? Will it take place in its original setting or maybe something more contemporary? Do you go full franchisebait? Casting ideas?

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Is that a corpse?

judging how shitty cheap movies earn while big budget blockbusters fail, i would make R-rated adaptation of Grim brothers fairytales, keeping original grim tone, before censored shit
given 100 million, i would spend +/-60 mil on movie, remaining 40 for marketing

I would pick Snow Queen, make it as close as possible to original source material and aim at children, but in a way that can still be appealing for adults.
I know it would flop miserably but it would be beautiful.

The Golem but it's a modern version where it's an android

WHY?! WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO WITH THESE JEZEBELS? All I want to do is come here for an asexual experience that will exercise my brain but I am constantly titillated by these vixens with their prodigious hips and provocative figures. Can I never satiate this thirst, will I ever know the touch of a woman and enter between her loins? Will my seed ever drip from her moistened hole?

Life is a constant hell. No wonder I resent women too.

probably a family friendly movie. Makes more money.

To that end, I would make a film adaptation of The Chronicles of Prydain. I'd want a whole anthology ala LOTR.

Disney tried to do an animated version of the Black Cauldron, and it was a good movie on its own, but it missed the mark of the story as a whole

How old are you?

>Goldilocks and the Three Bears
>Action/Adventure/Fantasy
>Two warring groups (The Golden and The Bears). The Golden are upper class, greedy, and are adorned in gold. The Bears are mostly tribal, wear bear skins, and live deep in the woods
>As a child Goldilocks was captured by a group of Bears and tortured; she eventually escaped and returned to the Golden as a hardened survivor; she became their best hunter and warrior; however she is looked down upon by the others because of her 'savage' nature
>When the Golden King's daughter is captured by a group of bears, Goldi must travel into the heart of the woods for the first time since childhood to rescue the princess
>Starring Lucy Boynton

what a qt

Don't give 'em any ideas.

i want to pet abbeys lizard if you know what i mean

Are you saying I have 100mil to make it or the budget is 100mil?

>traditional hand drawn in black and white
>aimed at children
>traditional setting but with the plot twist that Trump is der further

>that look at 0:02

tfw a non-white manlet and will never have a gf like that

Faust directed by the guy who directed the new Maniac, also in first person. Full adult psychological horror, with the devilry more subtle. Like a much, much more subdued Constantine aesthetic, where any interaction with the devil results in the background just becoming endless black.

Viggo Mortensen to lead.

Does Anne get pregnant?

I would pocket the money and use it to pay Christian Serratos to sit on my face. Any excess I would spend on 40k models and bottles of Olde English 800

no you sick fuck, it's a childrens film

how to get abbey gf??

an Alice's Adventures In Wonderland film that isn't over-the-top CGI nonsense. No weird story twists either. Directed by Sophia Coppola or Wes Anderson. Starring Angourie Rice

Der Ring des Nibelungen, since GoT has made incestkino acceptable again

O-oh.

We were so close to getting this, but jews shut it down

youtube.com/watch?v=Pld6fHqHVLA

edgy

Snowwhite, starring Aidan Gillen as Rumelstiltskin

More pic

A dark and gritty sequel/spin-off to Peter Pan focusing on Tiger Lily.

>After Peter is killed by Hook, Tiger Lily must command the remainder of Neverland's resistance against Hook's forces. Wendy will eventually join the fight as well.

>Emeraude Toubia as Tiger Lily
>Katherine McNamara as Wendy Darling

Probably go with something easy such as Cinderella, go full fantasy setting however, none of that "modern day retelling" shit

However I would cast a black man as the prince and a white woman as Cinderella and watch as the internet does my marketing for me

Be skinnyfat music dude with a strong face.

...

I wish I had a rich gf who bought me vintage gear.

...

ask Sup Forums to give me a premis to run on, then go from there. Good luck homo.

Brilliant. I wish I had the 100 mill to hand you right now, get your ass to working on printing money for me.

I wish I had a gf.

>anchoring
2/10 would not date
I only associate with men with floating picking hands, such as Paul Gilbert.

>anchoring fingers on pickguard
eeeeeeewww

Speaking of incestkino. The Donkey Skin Girl would make for a good movie (I know there already is one but it changed a lot) It would be completely loyal to the original story. Directed by Lars Von Trier

Little Mermaid but the original version where she turns into sea foam at the end. Directed by Sofia Coppola or Lars Von Trier

The Snow Queen, but it's all Kai being a shota toy for his futanari Snow Queen mistress.

I would bribe the casting director into looking for barely legal teenage models who won't hesitate to jump on my dick for the part.

Then I would find a way to funnel filming expenses back into my pockets.

I mean who gives a shit about summer garbage flicks

lars pls

I can do that

This

Just recreate a brothers grimm story with all the details and add a psycholigal thriller feel to it. Not for kids.

"Death Godfather" and "Bluebeard" are kino tales.

And that russian tale about the soldier and a magic bag that got portrayed in a Jim Henson's show.

Turn the Grimm princesses into warriors with magical weapons in order to cuck Disney out of the little girl/Fantasy market.

>Rapunzel & The Black Forest
>Cinderella & The Sword of Fire
>Belle & The Prince of Sorrow
>Aurora & The Undead Queen
Then you put them all in one movie for maximum shekels.
>Queen White & The Wrath of the Black Witch

...

Little Red Riding Hood
the girl - elle fanning
the "wolf" - idris elba
hunter - some white actor

movie ends with the wolf knocking little girl up, and the hunter staying with the girl raising the wolf's child (he's not actually a wolf, just a black guy called "the wolf") like a good little cuck he is. as the movie ends, we see the hunter taking care of the child while the girl goes to the woods again to have a little fun with the wolf...

Man, it'd be really tempting to make something super dumb like that hansel and gretel, or snow white movie where they were turned into action franchises.

Maybe do something wacky like hire some soviet era animation artists and do an animated dream sequence.

Fuck you

God I love Zenescope

you're trying to hard there, beauty
just call Weistein and you'll get a role

same

who is that?

nvm thought it was a cunnypost fucking killyourself

some erotic story tale with ASR playing the lead
i dont know much tho...

Mortensen has played lucifer before though.

Bob Keeshan is Mr. Natural

Fund it.

>tfw i read she's really smart too
feels real bad man

CUTE