How would he react if he actually found out his son wasn't his?

How would he react if he actually found out his son wasn't his?

He did find out.

Joseph's an alien.

He did find out. His brain made up a story and a theory to cope with it.

You could tell him out-right and he'd come up with some different explanation, and then distract himself with government conspiracies.

Ok, but how would he find out that his wife slept with John Redcorn who has never payed child support and was sleeping with his wife for years after?

That's the whole joke. He's a conspiracy theorist who can't see the only real conspiracy that's right in front of him.

John Redcorn does pay child support. He just does it secretly under the table out of a sense of duty rather than according to a court order.

Knowing Dale and the writers it would be quite unprodictable.

Dale would be devastated but ultimately love Joseph all the same.
There's no proof of that but I'd believe it.

guaranteed erection

He knows, but he also knows any kids he'd make would be full of health and mental problems like himself, and raising an Native American child (who is half of the woman he loves) is pretty cool.

>implying Joseph isn't Dale's biological son

Dale got cucked for sure, but John redcorn is a mega cuck because Joeshp will always see Dale as his true father and John as a weirdo. That's way worse, especially for native American man

But in the thanksgiving episode they imply that John Redcorn told Joseph he was his son

>John Redcorn is an alien

I've just remembered how truly miserable John Redcorn was. Like, his struggle with the government, his loneliness. His home and occupation.

Wasn't it implied in the final episode that he knew?

And Dale did more for him getting that land back than anyone else.

John Redcorn is a secret tragic character.
Plus Dale steals her back at some point. I remember John Redcorn's reaction, "you slept with him!"

Doesn't John end up accepting later after Dale helps him get his land back?

But didn't Joeshp just think he was a weirdo?

I don't remember that. Details?

He was also basically a manchild that never really grew up. He kept sneaking into bedroom windows well into his 40's and continued his new age all natural healing thing even when it did not pay the bills at all, and still had dreams of making it big and becoming a famous rock star some day.

He was just some roadie that burned out and never did anything with his life until he fell into the family friendly singing gig by accident.

He gives some sly comment to Nancy about "not being John Redcorn" before rubbing her back. I didn't think it meant anything but somebody here once made a really solid argument that it meant he knew about the affair

This was all in the same episode, John wanted a nigh off from Nancy so she slept with Dale. She started liking him again and John got pissed about it but Dale also helped him get the land back which made John change his mind and let Dale and Nancy have their marriage.

He did try to pick Nancy back up about two years later but that didn't work. And we see John hooking up with a former lover that had an illegitimate kid with at the end of an episode but we never see them again after that.

There's a certain irony to the fact that John Redcorn is even more of a weird loser than Dale is. He lives in a trailer, he has a lame job he isn't committed to, his dream of being a rockstar still hasn't taken off, he's going around having affairs even though he's getting too old for that kind of thing, and his son doesn't like or respect him.

Apparently he has a few kids roaming around. Thing is they are all weird in some way.

Joseph being odd was actually not Dale's fault.

It's so...realistically depressing. God he's like a character in Bojack or something.

It wouldn't phase him. He already knows aliens abducted him to steal his sperm, alter it, and then use it to impregnate Nancy to give himan alien-human hybrid son.

He'll just spin it aroun until he figues it's still his genetic son, and Joseph will readily accept it.

>Oh my god, I can't believe I didn't see it, the answer has been in front of me all this time.
>John Redcorn is an artificial humanoid that the aliens designed to deposit my sperm into Nancy!

Most of the characters in KotH were 'realistically depressing' when you stop to think about it.

I agree. It being understated and realistic makes John Redcorn's misery all the more poigiant. It's like the characters in Megg, Mogg, and Owl.

He probably wouldnt care, Joseph is emotionally his son at this point he could never drop him at all. However if that was me I would beat Nancy's head with a hammer.

>Boomhauer portrayed as a ladies man
>Eventually reveal his method is asking every woman if they are DTF and getting rejected most of the time.

Deep

Hank and Peggy were mostly normal outside of their typical cartoon antics.

But Bill, Dale and Boomhauer all had shit lives.

>Dale, that doesn't make any kind of sense.
>Hank, Hank, Hank. How can you be so naive? The aliens knew I was preserving my life force by withholding sex, and my Nancy is smart enough to recognize the telltale signs of an alien presence in our house. So they created John Redcorn, and under the guise of a healer they sent him in to seduce and ultimately impregnate my wife with my genetic material!
>Okay, Dale, but the fact is that Nancy still cheated on you with John Redcorn, that is a fact!
>Don't you get it, Hank? Nancy didn't have a choice, once John Redcorn gained her trust he used alien mind control techniques to brainwash Nancy into sleeping with him! Poor Nancy, I don't know how I can break it to her that she was used in a sinister alien plot targeted at me.

>Principle Moss is a depressed failure who's incompetent at being a principle
>Buck Strictland is a drunken, irresponsible hedonist who has pushed away everyone that was close to him except for Hank
>Luanne dropped out of school and married an unemployed redneck, thus forgoing her quest to rise above her white trash origins
Misery pervades all.

>Kahn is a hard worker who will never succeed further than where he is because he's caught perfectly in the middle between being too white for the Asian community to respect him and too Asian for the white community to give a shit about him.

>but John redcorn is a mega cuck because Joeshp will always see Dale as his true father and John as a weirdo.

That's not what a cuck is.

Luanne at least has a much better home life. She's not rich, but she has a house, money, and a happy, healthy marriage. She's already a better mother than her own mother was.

She's way better off than when she started

I thought most of his problems were caused by being a complete asshole to nearly everyone around him.

Minh made several mentions as to that being the reason why they moved from California because Kahn was a dick to everyone and they burned every bridge in their community and had to leave.

And he constantly wanted to exist above his position when he was a middle class employee that desperately wanted to be in the country club and hang out with people making 2-3 times his salary, which only annoyed them greatly.

I think it does a decent job of showing off a small rural town in Texas. Everyone that remained there either had low ambition, no ambition, or fell into a rut of some kind.

Kahn and Minh talk about how it is sad how Hank has such high discipline but nearly no ambition and is happy to work a low wage job.

Luanne is pretty typical for a small town redneck girl. Buck is also not too surprising for a upper class business owner that plays with his money but keeps his position in the community.

The Native American people got cucked far harder than Dale ever did.

>your family's land stolen by the white man
>move into town filled with anglos
>cuck one of the men for years
>he obliviously raises your son
>his wife falls back in love with him and leaves you
>they have a happy family
>tfw you never told your son
>tfw you're still alone
>tfw you sing the pain away in an amateur hillbilly rockband

Was that the episode where Joseph and that other girl (who was also secretly John Redcorn's child) got along really well?

>hank is the ideal family
>knows cars, house repairs, lawnwork
>He probably could have a better paying jobs in all those fields considering how passionate he is.
>choose propane because of his figure.
>he stay assistant manager because he respects Buck too much to dethrone him.

Yea, it was another one of those times when the end of the episode solution was never seen or mentioned again. That happened all the time in the series.

Buck was a surrogate father figure for him and Hank just clings to that alone. He could do a lot of things but he wants to work under Buck forever.

>Implying Joseph's not his son

I feel like when Buck dies of his 8th heart attack, if he's as business savvy as is implied, Hank will get the business in his will. But at the same time I wouldn't put it past him to give the business to whoever he's fucking at the time because Buck is a sleazy idiot.

>that episode where it showed he suffers from manic depression

Had a whole new view of him.

\
He'd misunderstand you trying to explain and take a swing at you for trying to kidnap Joseph.

And the episode where he becomes white trash, the absolute mental breakdown Kahn has is fucking depressing

Melinda just ever think about it. She got six pack abs, she work out. Does it what I figure out happened just ever come like anything else for it. Everytime wasn't even think about it. She has a job. Hank was working with computer it been everything.

He's only a complete asshole to the people he thinks he's "above". He's a whimpering lapdog to Ted (at least to Ted's face) and when he was on the phone with his boss in the white trash episode, he was really meek and submissive. Like, the problems in his personal life largely stem from being a dick to his neighbors, but you can't pin his professional roadblocks on that.

Honestly, I say she did escape her white trash future. She lived in a trailer with her drunken, abusive mother and her con-man father who had physical altercations so often that it took "Flipped over the fucking trailer" to count as bad.

She may be married to a redneck, but Lucky genuinely cares about her, can keep her grounded in reality (like when he insists they use the settlement money on a down payment instead of paying to have Faith Hill at their wedding), and as we've seen with Bobby makes an excellent parent. He may be a bit dim, but he's a decent and thoughtful guy. Plus, she lives in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood, near her family.

Nah, he'd give it to his bastard son Ray Roy with the harsh stipulation that Hank is un-fireable, and that Hank's word is law.

>tfw your hillbilly rock band falls apart
>tfw you're reduced to being a Raffi ripoff

>tfw find out it's your hidden passion

That's kind of true for most "ladies men" though.

Even if you're a total Chad you have to play the field.

Right, but it's not a case of him playing the field with his charm and not batting a thousand, it's literally just him going "EY BABY U WAN SUM FUK" to every woman he sees.

pocket semen.

Fair enough. He's more a ladies' robot.

His conspiracy theories would be replaced with red pilled rants against cuckolding, feminism and how women are all worthless whores.

>episode where Joseph is diagnosed with some sort of medical condition
>doctors run tests to see if it's passed down through the family
>looks like Dale's finally gonna find out
>turns out Joseph really is his biological son, Dale had Native American ancestors that he never told anyone about because nobody ever asked about it

And a remarkable amount of the time he does end up finding one that says "Eh, sure."

That and a cannibal.

>John Redcorn was created by aliens
This. This is EXACTLY how I imagine Dale reacting to the reveal.

>Dale dies of lung cancer after years of having the NSA blasting his lungs with RF from a satellite
>Surrounded by family and friends who love him
>He asks for Redcorn
>He leans in close to hear his last words, whispered to him where no one else could hear
>"Do you think I'm stupid?"
>"I win"
>flatline

>daria was made because they wanted to see if they can do beavis and butthead without judge

anyone else find this interesting?

Dale probably knows. His interest in conspiracy theories is a coping mechanism. Take that away, and he'll probably have a mental breakdown.

Not even close. That makes no sense anyway.

It's far more likely John Redcorn was an alien created vessel that was incubating Dale's genetic material until the time was right to use it to impregnate Nancy, or that John Redcorn is actually Dale's clone from the future, given a new name according to his Mongolian overlords and sent back in time to ensure the savior of the future(Dale's genetic son) is born to save the Mongolian Empire from the Reptilian invaders of 2087

You're talking about a guy who thought his dad was an FBI agent instead of gay.

And when told he was gay, he remarked how he thinks John Redcorn is also gay.

John Redcorn was a licensed new age healer who did professional massages.

He was asexual right?

Didn't he try to get it after it was moderately successful?

>Dale awkwardly tries to hang out with Redcorn
>"It makes perfect sense, you live way out here in this dumpy trailer, you're not married, you don't have any kids, and you chose that crappy job as a "spiritual healer" for all these years."
>Redcorn winces
>"So can I see your spaceship? Is it underground or outside camouflaged?"

>You're talking about a guy who thought his dad was an FBI agent instead of gay.

Subconsciously he knows that Joseph is not his son and is related to John Redcorn.

During that trip to the sauna he had an interpreted vision of Joseph and John having the same Indian headdress.

Do you think fatherhood is merely genetic? do you think it truly makes a difference whether you spread your own seed when so many similar to you are spreading there's?
No, true paternity is memetic. to impart your wisdom down the line of humanity before you, to make others think like you and wish to be like you.
if you cannot recognize the value of memetic paternity over simple genetics, your hardly even a human being

wut

>Joseph and John having the same Indian headdress.

Dale still probably thinks it's because of his "Indian heritage" and it was a vision on him passing down the headdress after Redcorn told him that to throw him off the affair.

and no way Ray Roy is moving into Texas and abandoning his own Propane business. Hank's gonna be manager, one way or the other

you mean because Dale's gay dad didn't wanna fuck his wife, and in reality his father is native American?

he is a cop

John Redcorn stopped Joseph from killing a Panda and getting sent to prison.

Hank's biggest issue was his upbringing making him emotionally distant, to the point where his wife casually accepts that propane comes first and his family second. About a third of the episodes revolved entirely around Hank struggling to overcome it in one way or another.

>Hank and Peggy were mostly normal outside of their typical cartoon antics.

Despite how much of a straight-arrow who wants a "normal" life Hank is, people around him always expect the worst out of him and it's hard not to see why with all the stuff he gets involved with. He flubbed his big moment in high school, had a rocky relationship with his father, and is constantly baffled by his only son. He doesn't realize how unimpressive his job is, and for years thought sticker-price was the best price.

Peggy had an absolutely horrific relationship with her mother which crippled her self-esteem. She has to convince herself she is the best at everything in order to prove mama wrong. Her coveted substitute teacher of the year award is something she suggested, no doubt as a way to supplement at her own fragile ego over not teaching full time. People around her make jokes at her expense, she bounces around to different jobs, and gets fooled by scams/cults.

They are sad when you think about it, very sad.

That'd be a hilariously apt plot twist.

A white man stole his son user.
You tell me.

"Nancy, Nancy, Nancy; it's okay! You don't have anything to feel bad about. OBVIOUSLY you never slept with John Redcorn! That's just a memory the aliens planted in your head to cover up your abduction and insemination on their mothership. It's a common tactic of theirs for encounters like this."

If for some retarded reason they did a King of the Hill reboot or a spinoff set in the future or something, I want this plot to come full circle by having Dale successfully impregnate Nancy, resulting in him having a legitimate child. Then and only then does he put the pieces together regarding Nancy and John Redcorn, and concludes that his new child isn't his and that after so many years of happy marriage he's now shamefully wearing the horns of a cuckold.

After endless bitter arguments in which Nancy fails to convince him the kid is really his-- perhaps she even does a DNA test, which he rejects because New Kid's paternal DNA is different from Joseph's-- Dale decides to divorce his cheating whore of a wife and move out. He also takes Joseph, his REAL child, with him for revenge.

New Nancy/Dale/Redcorn plot is them eventually working their way back together an getting Dale to accept the bastard in his family by stepping into the role of "cuck," as Dale once again completely misunderstands the situation. Also Hank and the guys drink beer I guess.

>"Dale, LOOK at Joseph! You're white and he's...well, he's not!"
>"That's why they picked John Redcorn, Nancy! Because Joseph inherited my ancestors Native American DNA, they needed to give you a believable fantasy!"

Any particular reason you hate the Gribbles so much?

He was an upgrade over fucking Buckley. At least he wouldn't be stupid enough to blow up a Mega-Lo Mart.

I don't; just wanted to come up with a new issue in their relationship that's built on the affair without it actually happening again.

I'm sure in this hypothetical future spinoff equally ironic and fucked up situations would happen to Hank, Bill, etc. Haven't put much thought into it because Sup Forums loves its cucks and so Dale seems to be discussed more than the others.

It just seems like an unnecessarily harsh status quo is all. I'm all for exploring new territory and avoiding stagnation, but it would be unbelievably out of character for Dale to act how you described and it seems less like a desire for a decent continuation plot and more of an excuse to torture Nancy.

I mean damn, you could have saved yourself the time by just saying "Nancy gets kidnapped and repeatedly raped by the town rapist, then gets tortured to death and dumped in a ditch along the interstate, wherein her corpse is pissed on by wild dogs".

Does bring up the question: if Hank had never met Buck, and as pointed out elsewhere he has great discipline and is willing to learn all the minute details of the things he does...
What kind of man would Hank be without propane?

That's a pretty good assessment of the situation. Lucky wasn't terribly smart, but at the end of the day, he was a good man and had the best interests of the people around him in mind when he did something.
And in the end, that's a pretty good deal for a relationship.

Probably a salesman for some other mundane but somewhat niche thing, like used RVs.

Why did I just see John Redcorn's face to those two sentences in my head?

>He doesn't realize how unimpressive his job is

Once or twice, I've actually remarked 'I'm becoming Hank Hill.. I'm taking pride in a job nobody else in the world cares about or respects.'
...It was a depressing moment in my life.