/LOTRG/

Lord of the Rings general, No stupid questions edition, continued from

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Why didn't frodo shove the ring up his ass so he isn't tempted and orcs are repulsed by the disgusting aspect of taking the ring back?

Why didn't Frodo just poop on the ring?

>a general
It's been awhile since I've seen one of these.
THE EAGLES WERE TOLD NOT TO TRUST FAGGOTS WITH HAIRY FEET.

Orcs eat man flesh. They'd eat the cornhole figuratively and literally, twice over.

Does the ring makes you invisible if you put it on your dick?

What they should've done was handed the ring over to Sauron. Be like "hey man, here's the ring you want." And sauron would be like "why are you just giving it to me?" And they'd be like "oh, nooooo reason....wink wink" and sauron would be like "why what did you do to it??" and they'd be like "oooh noooothing wink wink" And then he'd be like "well i don't want it now"

>lotr
>general
kys you fucking cancer

Why didn't they encase the ring in a little block of iron, so that it couldn't be worn and wouldn't be recognizable?

Don't turn comfy LotR posting into a general you faggot redditor

Why didn't they just berate the ring in rivendell and use the plantiers to bully sauron constantly? I mean just constantly lay into the guy for months on end

>wouldn't be recognizable?

This is a good plan. They should have painted the ring a different color.

Why didn't they let sauron have the ring and just win the war against him again

why didn't they just get a lawyer and challenge the legal precedent that Sauron's One Ring held power over all the others? There's gotta be something in the Middle Earth Constitution about consolidation of power/unlicensed goldsmithing

He'd just send his lieutenants to kill them and take it. Elronds power was weakening and his region was declining.

It would be found eventually.

Why didn't they just fly to Mordor on Earendil's magic ship?

Nobody strong enough left. Aragorn was their best man, and he nearly got done in by an olog. It took them Gil-Galad and Elendil, both greater than Aragorn to defeat him once and they both perished doing so.

>endless palantir shitposting until Sauron deletes his palantir account and goes into counselling for anxiety

He wouldn't have be able to pass it after getting it to mordor. The ring would make his shit too big for any hobbit sphincter. No one hobbit could possibly pass a load that big by themselves

Bullying is not OK.

S H A R E
T H E
L O A D

But Frodo's sphincter is very trained, he probably took half of the shire's dick in in ass.

If the ring can change its shape to fit the wearer, why didn't they just try to put it on a microbe so it'd be so small nobody could find it?

Why didn't they just give the ring to another Hobbit all they do is turn invisible

The guys who killed Sauron initially were superhuman Chad's. Sauron was only able to become so powerful by dressing up like a woman and catfishing them all. When the might of elvish and numenorean armies were brought against him he played dead and started the beta uprising of orcs and goblins. Once the incels and NEETs realised they had strength in numbers it became easier to recruit and eventually they had a pretty sizeable army that could actually take on the 1%'s with jawlines and gf's

>nobody has ps the blacked images with green dicks and called it ORCED

The microbe would wage war against middle Earth and win because you can't see it

Why didn't they encase the ring in steel so nobody could wear it, and then take it to Mordor?

why didn't they forge a second One Ring, the One-est Ring, and imbue it with power over the One Ring so they could control Sauron and stop him from being so mean?

Was literally aabout to ask this

The whole point was that this was the age of man, and man had to learn to defend for himself, except man wasn't strong enough to go toe to toe with sauron.

Has anyone listened to the design team and production team commentaries? Are they interesting and worth listening to or are they too technical and kind of boring?

Why do people defend Boromir?

Brilliant

...

If the eagles were a representation of good in the Tolkien universe with no evil, then why didn't the eagles keep the ring?

Why didn't Aragorn just challenge Sauron to a dance-off?

they didnt have enough money

...

How would they wear it dummy?

Why do the mortal races/characters even care about the war when they are doomed to die anyway? Why not let Sauron rule over earth?

Why do the Elves give a fuck when they're leaving anyway?

Where to even begin with you

Why didn't the dwarves just bribe the enemy mercenaries and Soron's armies?

Aragorn's disastrous tax policies at work, I see.

Sauron policies were not very well received outside of Mordor, particularly his Manflesh Monday statutory holidays.

how come there's no slutty elf girls hanging around in taverns and such? its like Tolkien doesn't even know how to write fantasy

kek

Because all their dads are like Elrond and don't let them out of their houses.

Who created Eru?

Why did Peter Jackson make Rosie Cotton a skanky used-up barmaid instead of a cute, wholesome pretty young farmer's daughter?

Why didn't the ring call the nazguls name when he was so close? Or did it forget his name during all the time it was gone and he wanted to avoid emberrassment?

He's eternal.

It's a ring, it can't fucking speak

what's the name of the orgasm face in japaense?

Eru isn't real.

Get to fuck with your general thread.
Having said that, which is the better boxset for behind the scenes footage, DVD or Blu-Ray?

Because Sam's a nice guy and Rosie was done riding the hobbit cock carroussel and ready to finally settle down, the kids you see later on are hers not Sams

should've melkor and morgoth be diferent characters? I think he did too many thing just for one, Sauron ends up quite stupid

Then why can it whisper to everyone?

ahego

>hey...you. I'm over here

Why not toss the ring into the ocean?
>inb4 watchers
Uhh no sweeties those things couldn't even find the ring in a river

Sam, I like to go out and get tore up with my hobbit girlfriends on the weekend. I need you to watch my kid Elaneequa while I go to the Green Dragon for karaoke night. If you ain't man enough for this then just move along YOLO

I thought they both had the same appendices. I know there was one "special edition" boxset or whatever that had an additional documentary film in it but idk if that was included in the extended blu ray set

>used to think that sam marrying rosie proved that he was the only straight hobbit
>now realize he wanted to be a cuck and clean out rosie when she got back from the green dragon
share the load indeed

Because sam would disapear

...

Because the extended editions show he loved his brother and Gondor. He only desired the Ring because it was Gondorians dying to defend against Mordor.

Sauron with total domination of Middle Earth would likely go after the Undying Lands next.

That's made it an easier choice then. Blu-Rays have the shitty blue filter, don't they?

that's what I have heard and one of the reasons why I haven't upgraded yet

ehorgasmu faceu

just looked it up and apparently the "costa botes" documentary is included in the blu ray set so that seems like the only difference between the two content wise

Why didn't they just get Louis Theroux to interview Sauron?

>how come your ring of power is so much stronger than all the others?
>...
>where can I find a ring of power like yours?
>....
>can I hold it? Will you take it off for me?
>...
>[awkward silence]
>...
>do you think it's ok to torture and enslave people?
>...
>is that considered normal behavior in Mordor?

lotrplaza.com/showthread.php?78328-LotR-Trilogy-Extended-Edition-Blu-Ray-or-DVD
That's a pretty good breakdown of it all.
Now I'm more annoyed by the new Amazon colours and buttons.

I have the extended edition trilogy box set and It doesn't have the shitty blue filter

>tfw no gf who's self conscious about her A cups

Hey look on the bright side. At least you got dubs.

Do not remind me.

love

I tried listening to the one for Fellowship last week actually and while it's not too technical it's definitely boring. Especially because there are so many people on the commentary all recorded individuality, so you don't get the kino Hobbit banter from the cast commentary or the comfy writers commentary where Jackson has something interesting to talk about for almost every scene and Fran/Philippa adding in every so often.

Plus outside of Richard Taylor and Howard Shore and I guess Barry Osbourne too, it's impossible to tell who is talking on the production commentary track.

I listened to the design team for disc one of fellowship the other day and felt the same. Though there were some cool things that I didn't know before like how the actual weta blacksmiths ha a cameo as the uruk-hai blacksmiths and used the same tools and techniques that they actually used to make everything

In the Hobbit, what were those 2 mountain things fighting about? Do they just go around Middle Earth and fight all day?

that's fucking great

I haven't read the books yet, can't wait to get comfy and dive into Tolkiens world.