Sopranos thread

Continued from >tfw you realize Johnny Sack has the posting habits of your grandfather

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Based Vincent

>You know what that crazy bitch was into?
>She wanted to stick a dildo up my ass, make believe she was pimpin' me out. I told her get the fuck outta here.
what did He mean by this???

>tfw not momma's little hoo-er

Purple light in the canyons

That's where I long to be

With my three good companions

Just my rifle, pony and me

Based Johnny "Send All Muslims Back" Sac. True American.

...

>that girl's a thorough bred, but those choppers
>she was a beautiful creature and you murdered her

Non ironically makes you think

what's next, you get clipped for wearing the wrong shoes?

...

Ralph = Beta fag
Richie = Alpha as fuck

>tfw Norway and don't know where to get proper Gabagoo

I tend to believe that Ralphie was impotent.

It's just fat and nitrates.

He got Tracee pregnant tho

Morning after the election
Tony KLUMPS into the bing back office
Christopher is playing pool, Paulie and Sil are watching the victory speech
>Paulie: I knew that cocksucker would win, I called it.
>Chrissy: You didn't call shit, you can't even vote.
>Paulie: Oh yea? Who'd you vote for?
>Christopher: None of your business.
>Paulie: I bet you voted for Hillary. She got most of the fag vote hehe.
Sil chuckles as he peels apart a grapefruit.
>Christopher: Fuck you Paulie.
>Paulie: Hey Ton', you hear what I said? I said Chrissy voted for Hillary, she got most of the fag vote hehe.
Tony's mouth is so full of bacon egg and cheese that he can barely breath.
>Paulie: Who'd you vote for, Sil?
>Sil: Ah I didn't vote. The jews pick it months in advance. Hesh told me.
Tony swallows half of the entire sandwich in one bite.
>Christopher: The whole thing is a scam, it don't matter anyways.
Tony turns red with anger.
>Tony: You don't think it's important to vote?
>Christopher: I didn't say that, I just think it don't matter.
Tony is outraged
>Tony: It don't matter? Audie Murphy don't matter? What he fought for?
>Christopher: Audie Murphy? Who the fuck is Audie Murphy?
>Tony: Audie Murphy! The lil' guy, killed like a hundred germans in World War 2! Ah what the fuck.
>Christopher: I'm sorry Ton'.
>Tony: Oh stop it with the sorries.
Bobby comes in the door and drops another breakfast sandwich on Tony's desk. He sits next to Paulie on the couch.
The news reviews the election and Trump's victory, newscaster practically crying.
>Bobby: You know, Quasimodo predicted this.

based

CARMELA
AJ, your father and I have discussed it and we both think its time for you to get a job.

AJ
I don't know what you guys are complaining about. I have a job! I'm a janitor for a popular online imageboard. I clean up shitposts and one day I might make Moderator.

(Carmela throws her hands in the air and rolls her eyes)

CARMELA
Fantastic! My son cleans up virtual puke for a living!

TONY
And this online freak show you working for, Do they pay you a salary? Do you get health insurance? Union?

AJ
Actually... I do it for free...

TONY (rage)
You do it for WHAT? Whatsamatterwithyou?! What have I been telling you for years? About how a man make a living? Provides for his family?

(Tony smashes his bowl of cereal behind AJ's head. Takes his phone and breaks it in his bare hands)

AJ (crying)
No Wonder I tried to kill myself 3 times last week!

(AJ runs up the stairs. The door to his room slams)

(Bobby Enters as Tony Breathes Heavily)

BOBBY
You know Quasimodo predicted all this.

this scene happened every episode and I only just realised it

...

kek

>Ralphie
>high IQ, clearly extremely intelligent
>could have been an architect
>hated by low earning brainlets like Paulie for constantly bringing in the big bux
>gets killed over some fucking hoooowah while Tony eats beef and sausage by the fucking carload

He always didn't tolerate hoooowahs.
Literally the first thot patroller

Gabagool?

ova heeeeere

Just get "genoa" salami or soprosetta, and mortadella. Makes a better sandwich than gabagool.

t. non-Italian-American

...

They would have been celebrating all night after a Trump win.

B R A V O

Are Mad Men and the Sopranos in the same universe?

SUCK OUR COCKS ?

Yes. Boardwalk Empire too. Both their showrunners worked on Sopranos

...

Is Phil the most powerful character in all of television history?

I probably would have accepted if I were alone with her.

>"My words not good enough?!"

>"Not if you want him clipped over it"

(Carmela storms into the kitchen, Tony is eating cereal and pretending to read the paper)

CARMELA
Did you hear what your daughter, our baby girl, is planning?

TONY
What this Barcelona shit again?

(Meadow enters screeching incomprehensibly between sobs)

CARMELA
No, she's pregnant.

(Tony gets up, finishing his cereal like a whale gathering plankton)

TONY
Heeeey, my baby girl is having baby!

CARMELA (seething with rage that Tony enjoys something)
Yeah a real gift from god, except your precious baby wants to kill the baby!

TONY (the smile fades from his face)
You can't be serious. That child is a gift from god, a precious innocent creature! A member of this family and you want it dead?!

(Tony throws the cereal bowl against the wall inches from AJ's face)

MEADOW (barely comprehensible howling)
It's Noahs!

TONY (horror replaces the rage in his face)
The charcoal briquette?

(Tony walks outside and paces around the pool before making a phone call)

(Tony steps back inside and cradles Meadow in his arms)

TONY (a facade of paternal love masking barely constrained rage)
It's ok baby, Sil is on his way to take you to the clinic alright? You alright? You'll be alright.

(cut to Meadow riding with Sil- Billy Joel's White Wedding playing on the radio)

(car suddenly stops in the middle of the pine barrens)

Does this thing works or not?

>Richie
>Loyal
>Tough
>Protective towards his niece
>Not as crazy as He used to be
>Still crazy enough to take an eye out.

>Billy Joel's White Wedding
Billy Idol?

What was Richie's problem?

The jacket

YOU DIDNT EVEN WORE IT ONCE.

>He slipped off the kitchen counter while spraying for ants?

GARMELA :DDD

SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT THE DOOOOOOOR

...

>tfw no spunky Carmela wife

So did people hate Carmela the same way that people hated Skylar from Breaking Bad?
I didn't mind her, and she was usually in the right. Except for when she wanted to leave Tony because he was a gangster despite knowing that before they even got married, and then started to fall in love with another gangster.

If he had such an high IQ how come he died?

NY = 1
Glorified crew = 0

I love Carmela

hate Skyler

>James body
It's a shame that very few women are into this body type.

who says they're not into it ?

>tfw skinny manlet
>tfw would kill for Tony's build

>we never got to see Adriana poop her pants

He dumped Ro (who was still hot by that point) to fuck Janice, Ralphie confirmed for mentally retarded.

>build
if you can call it build

...

>dumped Ro
She pushed him down a flight of stairs and fucked up his back

that was janice, he dumped ro because she was crying about jackie all the time

Oh shit, you're right. I'm a retard. Now I've gotta rewatch the entire series to refresh my memory

Claim your Sopranos Waifu

You already stole mine, prick

C L A I M E D
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>killed by some fat woman
>Alpha as fuck

Another idiot who got out of jail and demanded immediate respect from anybody

Even better
>killed by some fat woman
>a fat woman acting on pure impulse after being hit
>she doesn't even really regret it

He was Jackie's brother

At least we got Chris doing it

>you will never be Adriana's toilet
Why even live, trips bro?

...and a wicked sense of humor

I don't care what anyone thinks. Janice was based

For what it's worth she did have a few scenes where she shits her pants in "Joey"

>I don't go down enough
>That's not what I heard

Everytime

R I S I N G D A M P
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Holy shit

I just started watching it. I am on the half of 3rd season

I mean, I watched it as a little kid with my dad and holy shit this show is fukcing great. All or seasons this good?

Also right now, Sopranos is very very close to The Wire. Will see which is better after I finish it

>stupid-a fawking game

Why did Furio hate golf and bees so much?

requesting talented photoshop artist of ralphie's head on russel crowe's 2000 "Gladiator" body

His brother was murdered by a gang of bees and his sister was raped by a golf club.
Did you not read the expanded universe books?

GOD DAMN, what other HBO show was she in again?!

Link?

I, uh, need to see this too.

How do you live knowing that you will never ever be a made guy?

Knowing that I'll never be forcibly tied to an organization that would kill me for fucking traps and taking a vacation without their permission?
I'm good

long and bored

...

I can't believe David Chase called us out

>that file name

Your crossing into Youtube comment territory my friend.

Except Carmela fell in love with a real gangster.

>2006
>AJ isn't nonstop playing World of Warcraft

Would AJ even be able to hang out with the cool kids if his father wasn't a mob boss?

youtube.com/watch?v=0raxiow9kPs
>tfw love this scene

everyone loved Carmela, LOVED. She was supportive and cared about her family. She only threatened to leave when Tony's bullshit cheating embarrassed her.

>tfw Janice would totally indulge my light fart and scat fetish
>tfw she would let me watch her take a shit
>tfw she will never be real

that 19 year old she was banging while she lived in Seattle post Richie always made me so jelly.I would suck her tits so hard her tattoo would come out her nipple

fuck you shine box references on Frank Vincent videos is youtube comment kino

Season 4 is slow in terms of action but still very good. First half of season 6 isn't the greatest but sets up the back half really well

Guys should always think when they do something.

What Would Furio Do?

>One time, back in Naples, I work in the garden as a landscaper for a very rich man. Just me, I work there alone. Growing olives. My hands in the dirt, the hot sun. I was never so happy in my life as when I work at that place. Sometimes, I get the smell of olives in the restaurant or store, maybe. It makes me very sad

No.

youtube.com/watch?v=QBglPptNlSA

>used to work irrigation
>dig all day in the summer
>freeze in crawl spaces through the winter
>day was done, have a beer and work on my truck until dark

I honestly miss it sometimes