You're hosting a holiday BBQ and you've bought expensive steaks for all of your friends and family...

>You're hosting a holiday BBQ and you've bought expensive steaks for all of your friends and family. You ask a friend of yours how he'd like his steak cooked and he replies "Well done."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT HELPING???

GO FUCK YOURSELF THEN

>You put ketchup on your steak and then put the ketchup bottle in the fridge, then you...
>WHAT KIND OF FRIDGE?

>what's a steak?
-takes drag from VAPE-
>you know what a cow is?
>yeah
>same thing

Cells

>you enter a dining room, and you're the first guest to enter. Every single chair you try squeaks. What do you do?

I've never understood how you're supposed to answer the turtle question

this is why i carry a beanbag everywhere.

>An albino fortune teller dies in a fire
>She was a rare medium well done

you're shitposting on Sup Forums and your dear mother will have a relaxing and peaceful night's sleep tonight if you reply to this post what do you do?

>you and your friends are having a competition to see who can burn the most ants with a magnifying glass. Your friend is winning, and the neighborhood cutie is clearly eyeing him up. How do you come back to win?

Who the fuck thought these questions were useful?

Oh you.

Funny ha ha

Motherfucker.

Hope she does

Testing whether or not the subject is emotionally immature, i.e. shows either no reaction or overwhelming reaction to the injustice done upon the turtle

Love my mama

>injustice done upon the turtle
>injustice
You would get expired on the spot

what do you think Sup Forums, most replicants falls for the "yo mamma" question?

comment awkwardly under my breath and pretend not to make a big deal while actually making a huge deal out of the situation
what else would i do?

The answer isn't important, it's your physiological reactions they're testing. If you start twitching out like a replicant then they kill you.

dammit

Noice.

what if you're human but you have epilepsy and the desk lamp sets it off?

Maybe you shouldn't bother other people with your health problems then. Drink a beer to calm down before showing up or something, it's not everyone else's fault if you don't take care of yourself.

But they're the ones who are testing me! It's not like I'm going out of my way to prove I'm not a replicant
It just seems that there's a good chance they'll accidentally kill some real humans with this test

i reply

REEEEEEEEEEEE

Do you think Larry David could pass the voight-kampf test?

love mom

I love my mommy, so I reply

Also,in the book, animals are rare due to them all dying from space dust so people on earth practically worship them. It makes sense then that this question would provoke a strong response.

Nice, I reply

let me tell you about my mother

what's a chair?
you know what a seat is?
sure
same think
i just never seen one before

I ask him politely but firmly to leave.

I would ask if he would like some ketchup with that

beepidy boop

i reply

It is not something special where I live but some people could find "meat with blood" repulsive.

@89653601
I reply, but I don't give a (You).
I know that my mother won't die in her sleep tonight.

>expired
Its RETIRED, brainlet
I cant believe I even posted

it's too bad she won't live, but then again, we all die

Monsieur, azonnal kövessen engem, bitte!

Holy fuck weaponized beebs

No, they RETIRE you to EXPIRE you

>replicants aren't real humans
Anyway the questions are specifically meant to trigger aspects of replicants' bioengineered psychology. So "normal" autists like you can chill out I think. If not, no great loss

>He said you big guy!

>a synthetic human babbles about seeing shiny space stuff after breaking your hand and chasing you around like a madman, then saving your life
>then he dies in front of you
what do you do?

INTERLINKED

go rape my replicant gf... again

tell him I'm eating

We call it Voight-Kampff for short.

Hi, replicant.

She's been overworking herself recently and deserves a good sleep.

Epilepsy got filtered out of the gene pool pretty quickly!

fuk ur mom fgt

My mother is a saint.

>asking people how they want their food
I thought it was supposed to be the chefs expertise.

nn

mum deserves it

I reply

...

fuckin nice

Mom's gotta sleep too

wholesome

Luv u mom

sleep well mom

thank you, friend

I let her rest tonight since she worked hard decorating the house and psssing out candy for Halloween :)

you mean ranch right?

heres your (you)

why not

tru famalam

Why buy expensive steaks when I have so much free meat walking right through the door?

Well played.

I reply.

Whats a Sup Forums

I give the poster a (You)

Sleep tight mom

Pfft

You know what Reddit is?

R-reply to the post?

I read this at work and couldn't stop laughing while the news about a terror attack was on.

Those people are retarded the blood has long left that meat. That red juice isn't blood

give her a nice night's sleep

>no reaction
Could be a human sociopath, not a replicant in that instance.

Let me tell you about my mother

Love you mom

just cook all the blood out of it and stop being one of those assholes about people wanting their steak "well done"

"Leon: you've tracked down the idiot who's posting those Nyoro~n images. You come up behind him, wrap your hands around his spindly neck and squeeze. You're choking him to death, Leon. His feet are kicking feebly against his desk legs, but you aren't letting go, Leon. His face is turning blue and his tongue is sticking out.

His tongue is purple, Leon."

"Uh, yeah? What's the question?"

"Oh, no question, Leon. I'm just having a bit of fun."

in that case, shoot the sociopath. no great loss there.

Is this testing whether I'm a replicant or a faggot Mr. Holden?

I wouldn't let him

>I've never understood how you're supposed to answer the turtle question

Eat the turtle. At the beginning of the question it frames it as you are walking alone in the desert. It is assumed you would be both thirsty and hungry.

All white lives are valuable.

underrated

My mother... I'll tell you about my mother...

I always thought it was over the top how the interviewer got blasted through the wall when he got shot. Wth were they thinking?