So I just watched pic related the other day

So I just watched pic related the other day.

Why the fuck does pretty much everything about this movie undermine the entire franchise?

The Xeno suddenly being made by David, rather than the Engineers is fucking stupid. Especially since the ship in the original Alien had been there so long, the pilot had fossilized. What, will David invent a time machine?

And why does everything look so high tech? The movie is set 18 years before Alien, how will they reconcile the look of that film with this one?

And the twist ending, how the hell did none of them realize that "Walter" had injuries, when he's able to self repair almost immediately? And how did David even manage to swap with Walter at all, he literally had 3 seconds in which to do it.

The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=tDBr3xbgu0o
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien:_Covenant
youtube.com/watch?v=XeMVrnYNwus
youtube.com/watch?v=DJeIBM3T7FA
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

2deep4u *slips on blood*

Oh man.

They had to be aiming for comedy with that entire scene, surely.

what if humans were the aliens all along

What if, man. What if.

>holy shit david, you've been making aliens that kill us this entire time!
>yeah lol. hey come put your face this in this lol
>ok, but you're in a lot of trouble after th-MMPPPHHHH

I think everybody on the ship got brain damage during hypersleep, that's the only explanation.

LIke the chick that wanders off to freshen up. She wandered like 20 miles away so no-one could hear her call for help.

I think the only character in the film who wasn't a huge retard was Danny McBride's character.

>And how did David even manage to swap with Walter at all, he literally had 3 seconds in which to do it

i didnt see the swap coming but everyone here claims they did. i dont believe them. did they even hint at it at all?

The xenomorph was interesting because it was a mystery; every subsequent film dilutes the mystery.

this is the correct answer, they know it but they also know there's money to be made

Well, the fact he cuts his hair to look almost the exact same as Walter was a bit of a hint.

But it was more because it was such an obvious twist, especially as they had the resolution to the fight off-screen entirely.

>resolution to the fight off-screen entirely.
this was the give away for me. The only reason not to show the end of that fight was because there was a switcharoo.

*sips wheat juice*

Pretty much.

Also, how the fuck did that last dude get infected by the Facehugger? It wasn't even fully on him, but he still got infected?

And why did the first Xeno that burst out look exactly like the Alien puppet from the end of Spaceballs?

Like did Ridley Scott watch his own movie before he made this?

*A* xeno. Engies made them before (and probably worshipped them) and David managed to replicate what they achieved. This is not a difficult idea to grasp.

Covenant disappointed not because "SCIENTISTS ARE DUMB WTF? NO HELMETS??! PEOPLE MADE MISTAKES!?!?!" but because it was two films smushed together, each of them half-assed. Robot stuff and engie stuff, to follow on from Prometheus, had an identity of its own but wasn't explored. Boring shit Xeno stuff was an ALIEN CLASSIC HITS retread.

i incorrectly guessed the swap like 3 times before it actually happened, it was so awfully telegraphed

>i didnt see the swap coming but everyone here claims they did.

If Walter had just got back to the ship and said 'Yeah, it's fine. I killed him' and then it ended it would've been bizarre. Understanding basic film rhythms is enough to have 'guessed' the twist.

I don't even give myself (or anyone) points for guessing because it was so fucking blatant.

>David is the key to all of this
youtube.com/watch?v=tDBr3xbgu0o

That was the original idea, but Scott has said he changed it so David is the sole creator of the Xenos, because it's more "interesting" that way.

And while i agree that it was two films mashed together, the fact the Covenant crew were blisteringly retarded is still a valid complaint.

Like, the Captain literally sticking his head inside that egg when he's seen all the sketchy shit David has been up to.

Pr the chick wandering off and getting her head torn off by the Neomorph.

Or the fact that none of them wear even a respirator on an entirely unknown planet.

I could excuse the chick on the dropship wasting herself, just cos she was obviously totally out of her mind with fright, but the rest is just stupid.

Though, to be fair, Prometheus had the same issue with retarded characters, so there you go. Maybe everybody in the Aliens universe is just fucking stupid.

Looks like a glorified B movie

the reddit spacer

Man, I just like spacing, give me a break.

>Also, how the fuck did that last dude get infected by the Facehugger? It wasn't even fully on him, but he still got infected?
David slipped an embryo into his cheek

That seems far-fetched, but probably makes more sense than anything else in the film.

To me covenant have 2 parts

The first half when it plays like a classic alien film, shit is great.

Second half, when david apears for first (in a fucking cloack) Ridley Scott become operatic and shit feels more related to Blade Runner and Hannibal than Alien. it feels like a fucking bad pastiche

Well he's last seen alone patching the dudes cheek up and he's wondering why and what he is giving him

Do we have any idea of how big the embryo they implant actually is?

>Go ahead, get closer-- it's PERFECTLY safe
I'll take "things that are definitely NOT perfectly safe" for 200, Alex.

>movies where the antagonist wins purely for le shock value

I hate this so much. Makes me feel like I've wasted my time.

Oh, also, I could talk more about a million shitty decisions but I think the quickest summation is as follows: Scott is senile.

I think what gave him away for me was seeing him accept an award for The Martian in which he talked about how proud he was of the money it made until Star Wars came and blew it away box office-wise and how that pissed on his parade. I think he then did Covenant because he sees Alien as his multi-faceted franchise/universe that stands alongside Star Wars and Marvel. Problem is the Alien universe isn't that deep, it mostly just has a big fucking alien in it that likes to rape, that is unless you start adding convoluted shit like David to try and justify more and more films.

t. american

He regurgitates two at the end. They fit in the palm of your hand

Totally agree, as soon as David appeared in that cloak the film dropped the ball.

t. edgelord

Weren't they facehugger embryos?

Not to mention, if they were that size, how the fuck did Lope not spaz out when David shoved that down his gullet?

How did david become walter so fast? It's the most logical conclusion given what we saw and know

I'll agree that was one of the most fucking stupid parts of the film, but his character was a trusting one. He was always willing to see the better side of people, and wanted people to see the good in him. He probably spent how many years interacting with robots that have never told him anything but the truth, or been deceitful.

I think if they had shown a better way of him being tricked other than "hey ;) come look at this!", it would have been much better. like he comes into davids room, sees the weird shit, keeps his gun on david, backs out before getting a facehugger thrown in his face

Apparently the novelization says that David smeared some ointment under his nose that fucked him up a little and impaired his judgement.

the facehugger that was on the captain who got lured downstairs came off and fucked around a bit until people came looking for him. its the same facehugger and jumps onto the second guy.
It;s only on for less than a minute, but i think the less the facehugger stays on, the longer the gestation time

Facehuggers only carry one embryo though. Not to mention the thing didn't even put it's dick in his mouth, since he was still screaming for help the whole time.

its also from a deleted scene.
they're walking down the stairs and david smears some """lavender""" ointment to mask the smell. they don't say that it impairs his judgment though, but that kinda makes sense.

It would have just been better to have him be attacked from behind by david, it makes david more scary as a villain, and doesn't make the crew fucking idiots

this was so fucking retarded, my god

I'd be more curious as to where the fuck David got lavendar from.

To be honest, if humans in that universe are really as dumb as they seem in Prometheus and Covenant, I don't blame David for wanting to create something better.

Lope fell asleep and david was left with him. He could've placed it in his cheek then.

You forgot the part where he risks a trillion dollar ship filled with thousands of people to MAYBE rescue his wife?

well thats just not correct. Rewatch the film. There is only 1 facehugger, but somehow 2 xenomorphs? The facehugger is still active after crawling of Oram, and when the other dudes come to investigate, it jumps on Lope.
it's tail tightens around his neck so its obvious it is force feeding it the emobryo. Then the other guy cuts it off and acid gets on his cheek.

That is where the second xeno comes from. Check the wiki if you don't believe me:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien:_Covenant

>You forgot the part where he risks a trillion dollar ship filled with thousands of people to MAYBE rescue his wife?

humans are floored creature.

I liked when they depressurized the cargo bay and all the moisture on the surfaces crystallized and made the air sparkle
Only cool image in the whole fucking movie

Well, he still wasn't as fucking retarded as some of the others.

It's been a thing in the franchise from the beginning, once the facehugger shits out a baby, it falls off and dies, they're meant to be one-shot only.

There was more than one egg in the chamber,

Mind blown. Actually that's what should happen next. An alien should burst from someones head and the alien mouth should have David's face on the end of the tongue.

HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE??

Yeah like how he descended down onto the planet in the middle of a storm against the advice of Mother, endangering the whole fucking mission

no dude.. another xeno should burst out of a xeno and it turns out its gonna be a human wow

Why are the androids in these movies so gay and evil?

>Why are the androids in these movies so gay and evil?

because all gays are evil.

Fucking Hell is that a joke? Ointment???

how dare

there was no fucking reason to set this movies after alien 2

(((Ointment)))

Android semen driving men insane!

>not building your androids with intoxicating semen.

BRAVO, MEMLEY, BRAVO

I'm not saying how it has been in past films. I'm only saying that is how it was in this film.
I don't think it was a good idea, but thats literally how it went in the film.
You can argue that you think it is a stupid idea, and I would agree with you, but IN THIS FILM, one facehugger implanted 2 embryos.

I mean it KINDA fits in with the rest of the franchise, like once the alien can no longer implant embryos it is "dead" or no longer active, but since the one that crawled off Oram was still active, they implied that it could still implant.
I do think the facehuggers were fine they they were, but in this film, you only see one egg open and the facehugger is still active after implanting oram so its just putting two and two together.

I think it's safe to say that after Ridley got fucked over with Kingdom of Heaven and his brother's death he has never fully recovered

I think he pretty much admitted to not caring about movies anymore after his brother's death

This fucking real but edited

yeah edited for highlights

Annoyed that these scenes were cut from the film.

youtube.com/watch?v=XeMVrnYNwus
youtube.com/watch?v=DJeIBM3T7FA

but that last supper video is horrible, and it's not a deleted scene, it's exactly what it says it is, a prologue, promo material like the Weyland TED talk was for Prometheus
>directed by Ridley's son
of course it is

Were they really cut? I thought they weren't supposed to be in the film in the first place. I think they should have been, but I think they were supposed to be promotional videos. I dunno why they leave out information important to the film in some video on fuckin youtube

Did we actually see it leave Oram though?

Its on his face implanting. later on David throws rocks at Oram to wake him up and the facehugger is no longer on his face and no where to be seen. All the eggs are still contained except for one, so the facehugger still active was the one that attached to lobe

So can we see that there was already one egg opened when oram entered?

it was kinda hard to see, and the room stretches back into darkness with more eggs, but out of the ones at the front only one had the little flappy bits hanging down

Its funny because Ridley obviously just wanted to make the movie all about David.
But since it wasn't "alien" enough he had to splice in an hour of some random people getting killed by aliens.

Cool, cos in the scene when they discover his body, there're two open eggs

Nah, a good year, American Gangster and Counselor were pretty decent.

this, american audiences are too stupid for ridley's original vision

It would be shit, don't kid yourself. Ridley is completely incapable of doing this kind of thing nowadays.

link? I only saw the movie a couple weeks ago, and I thought there was only one egg open

>when david apears for first (in a fucking cloack)
The movie was already good but from this point it becomes excellent. If Alien came out today Sup Forums would absolutely despise it.

>Why the fuck does pretty much everything about this movie undermine the entire franchise?

because ridley is a senile old coot

Best answer I've seen all thread.

Wish they'd let Blomkamp take a crack with his idea.

Can't have been any worse.

The next movie:
> David infects everyone aboard the covenant
> A small pack of colonist manages to wake up due to whatever
> Intense cat and mouse with colonist, David and Xenos
> David kills all
> Engineers come in and kill david
> Send ship with eggs to earth
> OH NO Engineer gets infected by facehuggie
> Crashlands on LV-426
> Before he dies he sends out a warning to stay away
> Nostrome arrives

And thus the Alien saga concludes itself. Yeh top kino. I still wonder what Ayy came out of the Engineer in the original Alien. Is it the queen that we see in Aliens?

>remember Aliens?
>let's film it again
No thanks.

keked hard

I'd rather a straight up sci-fi action movie than another attempt at 2deep4u from a senile old fart who just seems to enjoy raping his own franchise.

Although, considering the Xeno is supposed to be an embodiment of rape, I suppose it's somewhat fitting.

Its literally the first thing i thought off when i saw the two fight.
I suspected Walter might turn onto Davids side, but the moment he didnt i knew Ridley senile ass wont do anything original except "everybody die, again" ending.

>Although, considering the Xeno is supposed to be an embodiment of rape, I suppose it's somewhat fitting.
Its pottery , it rhymes
Lucas was right all along

>And how did David even manage to swap with Walter at all, he literally had 3 seconds in which to do it.

Because he didn't. Walter was working against the crew from scene one. David attacked him because he didn't want to be left on the planet.

Think about it.

>undermines the entire franchise
>xenomorph made by david yet the ship on lv-426 is ancient (pilot fossilized)

well maybe david finds the ship on lv-426 plants the eggs and then activates the distress call.
there wow so difficult to write FICTION

jesus christ you franchise fags are truly the worst.

>Walter gets a message from David telling him "holy shit we found life activate order 66 get your ass here now"
>Walter's like, fuck, can't just wake them up for no reason let's go next to this sun that will shake things up again, modify the computer to show some miracle planet that nobody seen before that was closer
>fuck, captian will never go for it, Welp looks like the captian gots to go, his second in command believes in miracles easy peasy
>oh yeah, we will roast the captian alive in a cryo chamber, stupid emotional fleshbags won't question a thing.
>Hmmm, how will we get the crew there? Oh, just have the computer say the message came from x planet picked up by a fuckin helmet but not the giant ass ship right next to it, fucking maracles how do they work?
>zippy zoppity smuggle some eggs into my bodidity to get down planetside.
>oh hey random guy I have never seen let's just mention each other in passing no questions or anything
>oh hey David, you do realize we both can't go up right, these fuckers don't trust you at all...
>David: REEEEEEEEEEE
>bippity boopity kill off the rest of the crewidiy
>mission accomplished

And that's how riddly blew out all the brainlets.

Oh yeah, left out

>nu-captian:uhh, let's do a computer check to make sure nothing fucky happened
>WHAO WHAO WHAO NIGGA, NONE OF THAT, CAN'T HAVE THAT, NO CHECKS LEL IT'S ALL LOGICAL TRUST ME
>Nu-captian: okaly dokaly sounds good to me!

There is a billion other little things

David rediscovered the xenomorph. He did not create them. The engineers designed the black goo to kill the human race so it only makes sense they had tested it out before. This is evidenced by the fossilized pilot.

The movie looks high tech because Alien no longer looks like the future. I'm a huge fan of retro-scifi too but this is kind of like complaining that Star Trek looks too modern compared to the original series.

They were too busy dealing with the xenomorph that they didn't have time to think about the Walter/David switch.

>waaaah muh lore
>but muh.. muh.. LORE!!!!
>he can't keep changing muh lore!!

>implying switch

Brainlet spotted.

>walter kick david's ass and makes it on the ship
>suddenly acts and talks like walter for no reason

*acts like david

>"acts like david"

They are androids my man, he just had no reason to hide his core mission after the crew was ded.

>Why the fuck does pretty much everything about this movie undermine the entire franchise?

FUck off you piece of shit retard. The franchise was already undermined a plenty (aliens, alien 3, alien resurrection, alien vs predator, countless submental comic books).

If nothing else promoetheus and covenant elevate the franchise.

>>And the twist ending, how the hell did none of them realize that "Walter" had injuries, when he's able to self repair almost immediately? And how did David even manage to swap with Walter at all, he literally had 3 seconds in which to do it.

>>The more I think about it, the more annoyed I >>get.


idiotic nitpicking that can be answered by thinking 2 minutes about it

It doesn't make any sense, but the way you put it, I'm sure Ridley's senile ass will put it in the third movie.
All because he's pissed that people hated the shitty twist.