The Last Jedi

Saw the film this weekend. Not a larp fag so I’m not going to answer questions. Just going to give a brief summary of the movie.

This is different than most Star Wars movies and actually focuses on the “War” part. Luke and Rey’s stories take a backseat to Finn and the Resistance and Poe struggling with some demons and losing himself in the desire to completely eradicate the First Order.

The movie opens with a massive space battle as the Resistance attempts to flee D’qar. Finn is woken up from his coma in the evacuation and outfitted with a “biohexacrypt” which is basically an artificial spine. The biohexacrypt needs to be charged every hour or Finn will be paralyzed again until it gets reactivated. With the help of a small faction of the remaining New Republic fleet and a brief moment of hesitation by Kylo Ren, the Resistance does just enough to remain afloat and opt to regroup at an old Rebel Alliance base called Crait.

Leia sends Finn to a Planet called Catonica where the extremely wealthy denizens of the galaxy play games. Some games are harmless like cards or races. Some games are more dangerous and the price is life.

Finn discovers that these people treat the war as one of their games, and simultaneously fund both the Resistance and the First Order and then gamble on which side will win.

Luke Skywalker finds out very quickly that Rey is dangerously powerful, and may be the most powerful potential student he has ever seen. He refuses to train her but she can feel the strength of the force on the planet and proceeds to teach herself. He watches, equal parts terrified and equal parts curious.

Snoke is absolutely furious with Kylo Ren and berates him. Kylo gets so angry he destroys his helmet and leaves in search of Luke Skywalker despite Snoke warning him not to.

Despite being ordered to lay low, Poe forms a rogue squadron that has no disregard for rules of engagement and targets civilian planets and likens them to “farms”.

Based. The fact that you didn't drag this out through some attention seeking questionnare makes this more believable. Sounds like a decent plot desu.

Bordering on near terrorism tactics, an all out open war erupts in the galaxy between Poe’s guerilla tactics and the responses of General Hux who begins fighting back on Poe’s terms.

Rey steals a compass from Luke while he sleeps and finds “The journals of the Whills” and begins teaching herself from the books. Luke catches her one night and becomes angry. She begins having visions of the night Ben Solo destroyed Luke’s temple. Kylo Ren experiences them as well and can feel her through the Force. He exploits this connection to find Luke and Rey over time.

Luke finally relents and decides he will train Rey.

Finn breaks out a Slicer with the help of Rose and they escape Catonica on his surprisingly fancy ship. The guy is never named as “he doesn’t do names because he doesn’t want to get attached to dead people”

Time goes by and Poe’s tactics increasingly endanger the Resistance culminating in an ambush that forces Poe to be tracked back to Crait.

Rey has an extremely powerful vision when she nearly drowns and sees the truth of her family: her mother was the illegitimate daughter of the Emperor and when the First Order found out they hunted her down and killed her. Luke knew from the get go who she was and she gets angry with him for not telling her.

Kylo Ren feels all this through the Force and he and his Knights head for Ach To.

Finn Rose and the Slicer are sent aboard the Supremacy to attempt to bankrupt the First Order by hacking into their accounts where they store the credits they receive from Canto Bight. The Slicer betrays them and they are captured. Finn is sentenced to an execution, but Rose has been planting bombs all through out the Bay as the First Order prepares for a ground invasion of Crait. The bombs go off as he’s about to be executed.

Luke and Rey have a fight as a storm approaches and Kylo and the Knights arrive. Luke runs but Rey attacks Kylo immediately.

The Knights beat the hell out of Luke and destroy the

This shit sounds to grayarea to be a Disney Star Wars flick

Must be larping; not even an actual Star Wars "fan" could remember all this tedious crap.

But a final cut hasn't been turned in yet...

yeah and i literally dont even care enough to read this. disney somehow managed to destroy any interest i had in star wars and it was my whole world growing up

True. I'll download them for the set and props and stuff, all top-notch and the best hollywood can produce... but I'm not particularly interested in Star Wars after being force-fed a remake last time. Blech.

>>>>>Catonica

Not Canto Bight ULTRA FAKE

The what?

Rey meets Snoke segment of trailer? Praetorian Gaurds? Missing some parts.

Tree with the journals.

Kylo reveals the truth to Rey about the night the Academy was destroyed. It was an accident. Kylo lost control of his powers upon learning the reason he was tempted by the dark side was because his grandfather was Darth Vader. Ben didn’t betray Luke, Luke cast Ben out because he was afraid of his power. Ben did the only thing he felt he could do: go to Snoke to help him learn to control his power. Rey understands now that they’re connection is the will of the force and they share a passionate kiss.

Luke finally loses his temper and destroys the Knights of Ren with red force lightning.

Rey leaves Ach To with Kylo Ren. An absolutely livid Luke Skywalker decides it’s time to leave this planet. We find out his compass points to Snoke’s Star Destroyer, which is an ancient technology capable of not only being a battle station but manufacturing entire fleets as well.

The battle of Crait is won by taking the ground out from underneath the walkers. Leia is wounded in an explosion.

Snoke tests Kylo’s commitment and orders him to kill Rey. He turns on Snoke’s Guards instead and together Rey and Ben defeat the guards.

They prepare to attack Snoke but he just laughs at them and vanishes. Ben and Rey are confused until they hear Luke behind them telling them Peace can only be achieved through order because “Peace is a lie”.

He lights up a red lightsaber and duels Ben and Rey briefly before the Supremacy comes under heavy fire, ending the duel without a winner. Poe sacrifices himself to take it down.

Ben is reunited with his mother as she draws her dying breath and makes him promise to bring his uncle back to the light. He reluctantly promised he will as she dies.

Cut to Rey and Ben on a bridge looking out at the galaxy. Finn sees them and looks a bit hurt and concerned. They embrace and the movie ends.

I hope this is true, so that I can drop Star Wars forever after Disney kills it.

Why did you have to ruin the bait? It was going so well

It's Tree-son, then.

>another Star Destroyer

Color me shocked

>Rey understands now that they’re connection is the will of the force and they share a passionate kiss.
I kekd.

Catonica is the planet. Canto Bight is the City.

>which is an ancient technology capable of not only being a battle station but manufacturing entire fleets as well.
Based Star Forge

No you didn't.

7/10 excpt for what they did to luke 2/10. they would make luke go bad so rey can kill him or redeem him

Anytime I read something like this I know it's false. I couldn't give you a recap like this after seeing any movie.

We already know Leia doesn't die in TLJ and they didn't change any of the footage after Carrie's death.

>people still trying to force Reylo

>people think they need to force it
It'll happen. Just watch.

Fake, Leia was supposed to be in 9

>I'll try red lightning, that's a neat trick

>Finn is woken up from his coma in the evacuation and outfitted with a “biohexacrypt” which is basically an artificial spine. The biohexacrypt needs to be charged every hour or Finn will be paralyzed again until it gets reactivated.
Why are bionic spines so shitty in the SW universe?

>Rey has an extremely powerful vision when she nearly drowns and sees the truth of her family: her mother was the illegitimate daughter of the Emperor
Someone actually fucked Sheev? WHO?

Underrated

>evil luke
absolute bullshit

>Luke lights up a red lightsaber and battles Rey and Ben
>Mustafar battle them plays
>Ghost of Anakin, Yoda and Obi Wan show up
>All five engage in a crazy lightsaber battle where Obi Wan, Rey and Ben all get their hands cut off
>Luke raises a platform to fight Anakin one on one
>Anakin asks "Luke, what happened? You were the chosen one!"
>Luke replies: "so were you....yet here we are.."
>They clash, Luke flips onto another raised platform
>Father don't do it.....I have the high ground
>Ghost Anakin jumps up to strike Luke
>Anakin gets his ghost legs cut off again
>Yells out "not again!"

>rey will str(k)ike down the last old impotent whyt*Oid jedi and replace him with the new feminist gray jedi order, for women of color only

Good one, user. I'll keep a copy of it to compare with actual movie.

>luke falls to the dark side
What the shit. So much for ESB and ROTJ

Big if true

If David Rockeffeler could still get laid, why not him?

Another sister kisser, it’s like pottery

So... Rey and Kylo are lovers now? Is Disney brave enough to do that?

>So much for ESB and ROTJ
This is Disney, they don't hold the originals as in any way sacred

You'd think they would, considering their racket is completely leaning on them.

"Cut to Rey and Ben on a bridge looking out at the galaxy. Finn sees them and looks a bit hurt and concerned. "

Good, good. At least Disney doesn't destroy SW by forcing that interracial shit like Marvel. Some gay Americans may care but the rest of the world doesn't give a fuck. And btw Finn is just an ugly pathetic weak sidekick.

How do you dorks actually fall for this shit? My god it doesn’t even make sense. Obvious bait is obvious.

>Luke is Snoke.
Part of me wishes this were real. It would nuke the franchise for good if this were true.

Rian Johnson needs to rewatch Return of the Jedi. What the fuck is he doing?

TR-8R

To be fair - it makes more sense than what will likely happen.

>what will likely happen
barely more than we see in the trailer

>Someone actually fucked Sheev? WHO?

Bellatrix Lestrange

>They prepare to attack Snoke but he just laughs at them and vanishes. Ben and Rey are confused until they hear Luke behind them telling them Peace can only be achieved through order because “Peace is a lie”.

is this implying that Snoke is actually Luke?

it's obviously fake of course

>Finn discovers that these people treat the war as one of their games, and simultaneously fund both the Resistance and the First Order and then gamble on which side will win.
This sounds (((familiar))).

Snoke was a hologram in the previous movie, could have been set-up for this one.

Sure whatever. What about PORG??

Disney scrubbed Finn out of TFA promotion campaign for Asia and marketing in fear they would avoid the movie. The poor box office performance of Marvel Spiderman HC and his black chicks in some strong markets, especially China,..v..v... is another expensive lesson for Disney.

Too good to be true.

God bless the chinese.

Rian Johnson has the nerve to do it.

>thinking china doesn't like disney shit and capeshit because it features black characters
>not realizing it's because all the movies are shit and the chinese don't want to watch shitty american flicks

That lame bionic spine suits Finn.

The Chinese could watch shitty hollywood movies like FastF and Transfomers but they couldn't stand Finn and Spiderman's black hoes. Savage af.

Kekd

What about Phasma?

>They clash, Luke flips onto another raised platform
I thought you were going to go STANDING HERE after this. I was somewhat disappointed.

>Rey is such a Mary Sue she doesn't even need Luke's training

I believe this. This is something so funny that it could only be dreamed up by JJ Abrams' wife.

>thinking the chinese have any standards

Half the women in the galaxy

IMO it would be kino as fuck
thank you for making me smile OP

>Luke Skywalker finds out very quickly that Rey is dangerously powerful, and may be the most powerful potential student he has ever seen. He refuses to train her but she can feel the strength of the force on the planet and proceeds to teach herself. He watches, equal parts terrified and equal parts curious.


THE LAST MARY SUE CONFIRMED

RAWRRR YASS SLAY QUEEEN

>inds out very quickly that Rey is dangerously powerful, and may be the most powerful potential student he has ever seen. He refuses to train her but she can feel the strength of the force on the planet and proceeds to teach herself.
M A R Y S U E
A
R
Y

S
U
E
(feminist autism edition)

wow its just a remake of the 5th movie
can the west just fall already im ready for our muslim overlords to cleanse this garbage with fire

top kek, nice try OP.

Sad thing is I'll probably like this more than the actual movie.