"Sorry, sir but you're not supposed to be behind the counter. What're you doing here"?

"Sorry, sir but you're not supposed to be behind the counter. What're you doing here"?

m-my wife told you to give you this note

>do you want to fill my fertile white pussy? (pick one)
>yes
>no

"My wife...what have you done to my WIFE, Robert..."

I'll serve myself, thank you very much

Trying to get some gummy bears.

blimey they killed robert?

nu-Sup Forums get out

This, self serving theatre's when? Robert isn't really the best at making crab legs anyways

I dropped my crab legs, Robert. Can I get them replaced? I don't have any more money.

Robert...I'm here to replace you I thought the boss told you?

>Robert isn't really the best at making crab legs anyways
How dare you.

Can't your borrow some cash from your date?

i-i need toilet w-where toilet go please now

SIR! YOUVE FORGOT YOUR POPCORN

This is a robbery ese, don't act stupid

AYO MUHFUGGA GIMME ALL YO POPCORN I SAID NOW NIGGA

My penis is clean and safe for inspection Robert! I wanted you to see for yourself!

ROBERT WATCH OUT!

Robert, watch out for that banana peel!

Hey Robert, watch your step...

Is this from JL?

NOOOO WATCH OUT ROBERT

Sh-she didn't bring her purse. It's my night to pay for stuff.

...

They expect one of us in the popcorn mines, brother.

I've spend 17 years in the popcorn mines, plotting my revenge.

>"Lemme guess, extra large popcorn and drink for a fat virgin like you? Why don't you just kill yourself?"
what do?

Hey Robert, cya... next fall

F

R-Robert? NO!

I asked for an extra large!

LEL ROBERT POSTING LE EXCELLENT MEMAYOW XXFFXXDDXXDXXXXX


SCREENSHOT LE REDDIT SUCH FUNNY BOARD CULTURE
I LE UNIRONICALLY HOPE ROBERT BLACKS MY IMAGINARY NON EXISTANT GIRLFRIEND THIS IS SO FUNNY
LE DEATH TO THE WHITE RACE
LE 56% MEEMAAYYPOOPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I could have saved him

SPRINKLE SOME CRACK ON HIM AND CALL IT IN

Hey nerd,Robby ain't working here no more on a count of giving discounts to people, so gimme your order and get outta here

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Who the fuck eats ice cream at the Kinoplex?

Canadian Robert's such a faggot.

w-who are you?

The age of Robert is over. The time of the manlets has come. Rise from the pit my small brothers!

Robert was replaced by Brad

You work at a movie theater, you faggot hahahahahahahaha

*hurls my middle finger at him*

fuck YOU

Guy, don't worry, that was just one of my Rob-ots.

Now who wants popcorn?

(You) while posting this

Can I offer you a shamwow to get that artificial butter off your jacking hand?

Why is he bleeding then, Robert? Cloning yourself for slave labour is highly immoral, you know.

Guess you could say he was a roblicant?

I failed him in life,
I won't fail him in death

ROBERT STAY WITH ME
STAY WITH ME GODDAMMIT

Robert you magnificent bastard.

Forgot to bring your penis inspection records?
Send him to the interrogation room!

Watch Out user! I know I said some things in past but believe me he's the real rob-ot

Robert you catch me with the same trick every time god dammit

I work here now! I can't wait to spend 40 hours a week serving popcorn by your side!

sauce

FIRE EVERYTHING

"Robert... How can I tell you this?.. You're desapointing me Robert... What have you done with your life ? You were sutch a promising kid! Always ready to help your neighbor, good grades in school... What happend ? You were supposed to be a rocket scientist and now you're serving fat ass kids who the only purpose is to masturbate between two Marvel movies... THE MOON ROBERT ! You should be among the star but NO! You're melting popcorn for 30 years old teens! Don't talk to me about racism Robert! Not to me! There is quota in college, you know it and I know it! So get your shit together and make something of your life! The stars Robert! THE STARS!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Sorry Robert. I was looking for the blacksmith's tool kit. I just talked to him for a couple seconds and he sent me to find it.

I'm workin' on it.

Do you guys have a Robert at your local theater?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

what a bizarre meme

NOWHITENNNNS

K H A Z A R
H
A
Z
A
R E K L I M

>Here's your popcorn, big guy. That'll be no charge for you.

Sup Forums's best memes are the really bizarre ones. Baneposting for example.

Did the CIA kill Robert?

My theater actually has ice cream, and we even have a commercial for ice cream during the pre movie commercials

>you're a black guy...

Forshizzle younizzile

SHEEEEEEEEEEIT

Robert

it didn’t have to be like this, i didn’t want things to end this way Robert. I-im sorry i have to hurt you

>being this fucking new
back to your homesite

We got an order for a replacement Robert unit at your kinoplex, courtesy of CinemaRobotics. Can I get a signature from the current manager of this establishment?

I live in a super rich area and the confessions is entirely self serve, crazy amount of stuff too

My apologies, user. Children always putting their Baneposting cutouts around here from time to time, God bless them. Let me peel off this sticker here, there we go, "employee of the month." Haha. Anyways, here's a bucket of popcorn, on the house.

I can't trust you, Robert... How can I be sure that you weren't the Rob-ot all along, and that you just assasinated the original Robert? You need to show me that you bleed, that you're human...

Why are Robert threads so comfy?

Was it autism?

Yo, Robert heads up, dawg - looks like you got a potential singles policy violation at 3 o'clock.

Gonna need a source.

Thank you for civic duty, user.You embody the spirit of the true cinemagoer, and I commend you for your actions. You've earned yourself a butter voucher, valid only in participating Kinoplexes upon making a purchase of an extra bucket of crab legs. The assailant has been captured and sentenced to a 12 years in the popcorn mines thanks to your efforts.

Is that...Dare I say it...Drumpf?

>tucked in t-shirt
>no belt
>jorts
For FUCK'S SAKE! Are there no standards anymore?!

>go to the local cinema to watch Spectre
>ticket guy stops me and says I'm violating the no seagulls policy
>do a double take and tell the retard that it's called a no singles policy and my falcon is not a seagull
>immediately catch a sniper round in the kneecap from the guard tower for insubordinate conduct, ticket guy pepper sprays as I'm down
>wake up later in a dark room chained to the radiator, once I look around I realize I'm surrounded by dismembered crabs, they're not even dead, they're all alive and looking at me
>every half hour someone from the cinema staff opens the door to the room and throws in several live crabs telling me to rib the legs off and put them in a bucket
>I have to tip the guy who throws in the crabs $20 every time he opens the door
can't believe this meme is 2 years old

>I guess you be thinkin twice before you get a mouth next time, huh bro?

Maybe if you stopped condescending me you'd notice that people are cloning themselves to cheat the no singles policy

>go to the movies
>strict no sneaking snacks in policy
>they look through your bag
>strict no killing people policy
>they pat you for weapons
>tyrone gropes my dick and twists my balls
>"Bet you don't even know the name of you movie you watching, do you fuccboi?"
>he knows I love being his bitch
>fantasize about letting his cousins from the islands crash at my place and ransack my literal ass
>fantasize so much I barely pay attention to the movie I was watching

>at BR2049
>enjoying this kino
>girl next to me and her boyfriend munching on some popped corn, but keeping it lowkey and respectful
>I've already offered them a gracious tip of my cap for their courteousness, they've reciprocated with a bow and curtsy, as appropriate
>half way through the film
>hear girl whisper to her boyfriend "Time to toot!"
>she stands up and unbuckles her denim short shorts
>quickly yet smoothly pulls her pants and panties down, lets them hit the floor
>bends at the waist, facing the screen, bare bottom illuminated by the projector
>emits a high pitched "toot" from her butthole, hear chuckles from my fellow kinoplex denizens
>people throughout the theater stand and do likewise
>entire room is filled with a symphony of toots, some high pitched and squeaky, some low and rumbling
>eventually becomes a "call and response" sort of game
>girl notices that I'm not tooting (trying to enjoy the kino, after all)
>angles her cacophonous keister towards my face
>emits a powerful blast of wind, accompanied by a short "toot"
>mfw

Let me tell you a story...
>going to the movies with a bro
>bro is gay
>bro bets that if his penis gets a better rating during the inspection that he gets a blowjob
>if i win i get 100 bucks
>i've got a clean, uncut dick, no problem
>I lose
>i go double or nothing with my bro, if his falcon gains air dominance over mine he gets a blowjob and fucks my butt
>if mine wins i wipe away the debt
>my falcon is utterly dominated
>i'm kind of in shock as he forces me to my knees
>he tilts my face up to his and kisses me before shoving it down my throat
>it's so good, the taste of it and the heat coming off the shaft and the way it fills my mouth
>he facefucks me for 5-10 minutes, then lifts me onto a seat and puts me face down
>starts to push his cock in my ass
>it curves up, presses against my prostate as he enters further and further
>i'm mumbling and drooling as he holds my hips down
>leaking precum
>strokes my hair as i get used to having his cock in my ass, i start to notice little details like his balls against my ass and his breathing
>we make out a little, he grabs my hips again
>slowly pumps in and out as we kiss
>starts fucking harder and harder until i'm yelping each time he slams it in to the hilt
>he's thrusting into me, i'm arching and pushing into him, we're operating in unison
>each thrust sends warm waves rolling throughout my body, i'm moaning like a whore
>i arch back as hard as i can, letting him slam his cock into my prostrate with each thrust
>he's jerking me off, i'm delirious
>we both cum, he's like an explosion of warmth inside of me
>now i'm a fag
Moral of the story is always win.

>gf breaks up with me, want to go see the latest capeshit
>no one wants to go with me, theater has "no singles" policy
>only applies to males, so I borrow a dress from my sister, buy a wig, and put on some makeup
>I had just started doing SS (/fit/ here) and all the squats had led to me having a big ass
>figure I'll play up the curves, help with the deception
>get to the theater, buy my ticket, get in line
>tackled by theater guards out of nowhere
>suddenly it hits me
>it's February
>black history month
>they think I'm a white woman
>I'm put in the theater stocks along with every other white female 16-25, my dress is pulled up, my panties are slipped down
>everyone claps as the theater bulls walk into the room, BBCs swinging as they walk
>a cacophony of grunts, squeals, moans, ecstatic pleas for more, and the sound of black flesh mercilessly pounding against lily white buttcheeks fills the room
>in all the excitement, the bull who has prepared to mount me doesn't realize I'm a boy
>fills my ass, mistakes my cries for help as screams of pleasure
>leaves me limp, shaking, and filled with seed

Saw Deadpool that night, 8/10

For my money, ain't nothing will ever beat the theater experience. Just too many great feels to be had.
>taking a newly trained falcon to see a flick for the first time
>buying a medium popcorn when you're on a budget and savoring the more maneuverable wheelbarrow that comes with it
>getting picked as the designated shooter and setting a new theater record with your SKS
>the thrill of crawling through no man's land, dodging spotlights and death squads when you're single just to see the latest capeshit
>taking a qt to a kino and catching her shy but impressed gaze when you get picked for a random penis inspection

Nothing quite like it, boys!

>filename
I have some news for you user...

>STOP HAVING FUN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Because it's a shared pool of people who fantasize about having friends.

Robert is a friend to all of us in the way we're friends with each other. Separated physically but linked spiritually. .

>Oh hey user! Didn't see you there.
>What're you doing sitting all by yourself? You know there's a no singles policy here.
>Why don't you come sit with us, the movie's just about to start.
>As long as Rochelle doesn't mind haha

>Work at local kinoplex
>It's my turn in the iMax gas chamber for the shift
>Spend 6 hours handing out VR Helmets and tickets to Wonder Woman
>Robert comes up to my window
>"Hey user, this customer forgot to ask you for a Medium Popcorn coupon, mind printing one out for me?"
>Know it's against theater policy to print out popcorn coupons for guests that aren't wearing a glow-in-the-dark "No Cellphones" t-shirt, but Robert is incredibly trustworthy so I'm at a loss
>Robert senses my hesitation
>"Don't worry, if the boss says anything you can tell them it was my idea. Please, the movie starts in 2 minutes and I already have to run to the freezer to get crab legs"
>Gladly print out a coupon and send Robert on his way
>Months later, manager calls me up to the office
>Shows me security footage of the encounter with Robert
>"Now, you and Robert are both trustworthy, but we can't have you breaking policy with our popcorn coupons. Besides, that customer was breaking the No Singles policy. I'm afraid we're going to have to suspend you."
>Get suspended for 3 weeks over a $13 bag of popcorn
>Return to work after my suspension, pissed off at Robert for not taking credit
>He's nowhere to be found, even though he normally works 60 hours a week
>Find out later that the manager was going to fire me, but Robert stormed into his office and begged them to fire him instead
>Contact him over Facebook and give him my wife's contact info
>Never saw my wife again

Glad to see he found work elsewhere, he's a good guy.