Most women are actually repulsed by Boomhauer

>Most women are actually repulsed by Boomhauer
>He only gets laid because he asks out practically every woman he sees until one finally says yes
>His success rate is 1:23

Was there ever a more shocking revelation?

That's actually how it works on real life, if you are male.

Don't try this tactic at family reunions. Big mistake.

I like to think women find him attractive, it's just when he actually tries to turn on the charm that they laugh at him.

I mean look at that shit, what woman is gonna throw themselves at Daisy Dukes?

>he wouldn't slide his hands into those back pockets and cop a dang ol' feel

General Attractiveness Ranking
Dale > Boomhauer >> Hank >>>> Bill

>dale over boomhauer
I guess I could see that

He is basically Johnny Bravo, yes?

Nah, apparently Johnny had a pretty decent success rate off screen. It wasn't shown cause it wasn't funny.

Closest we got was confirmation he wasn't a virgin

That's how it works in real life. He figured out " Just be yourself " isn't a meme and it pays off weekly

The wives find him the most attractive. Him and John Redcorn.

Bear in mind that Dale, Hank, and Bill have much worse ratings.

Not when yourself can't stand going outside or anywhere there are people.

Did you not watch the episode! The guy is drowning in pussy

If I could go out and just ask every hot bitch I see if the are dtf with a 1:23 ratio, I'd be bar hopping every damn night. I'd have a map of Hooters restaurants within a certain distance and just drive to each one until I got one that was willing to take some dick.

They put Hank on par with Bill until his responsibility made him cool to the kids for them not all getting touchy when they weren't comfortable with it.

Official rating
>Redcorn
>Boomhauer
>Kahn
>Dale
>Hank
>Bill

>myfuckingsides

As opposed to your stunningly successful tactic of fucking women by never asking them to fuck.

I feel like Bill in his prime was best boy

This, the man of rightful clay, my people, are the most attractive.

You forgot about John Redcorn

And that is a bad strategy how? The goal is to get laid and it works. Sure, there are more effective ways, but for those you either have already worked your ass off or be born privileged, so in the long run, for the non-model-type guy, this is probably still one of the most effective strategies of hooking up. And getting told off 22 times and still being able to go is something you just have to learn and train. I bet my ass 99% of Sup Forumswards would already go home and cry after the first fail. If they manage to approach the woman in the first place, that is.

Yes that's how it works. If you ask out 100 women and only 1 says yes that's still 1 more than the guy who doesn't ask out any.

The revelation that he gets laid more often than Bill does on the weekly basis because he's not a fat loser who is afraid of rejection and women? It's not really that startling once you realize that you don't have to like the person you're fucking after you're finished, so long as you remember to wear your rubbers.

While boomhauer still got the most amount of tail when they were young, this was essentially proven time and time again, His wife just royally messed him up.

Y'know, going by all the gay porn fanart he gets, for someone who never watched the show, this is truly a shocking revelation.

yes I can agree with this

Risky strategy. That 1 woman that said yes where 23 others said no, would likely would have some serious disadvantages that the other women don't. STDs, homelessness, drug addiction, mental illness... possibly a penis or fake vagina... How many times has Boomhauer took off a woman's panties and been like "Dang!" How many have asked him for money?

That's a really successful ratio.

>" Just be yourself " isn't a meme and it pays off weekly
>In real life

t. woman.

So, whom would you rather trust to pick up your daughter from a concert - Boomhauer or Quagmire?

Quagmire's a rapist user.

If you're not being yourself, you're wasting energy that could've been put towards getting laid pretending to be someone else.

Being fake makes you look insecure, which is a major turn off for women in general because who wants to fuck some fat loser who doesn't even like himself enough to show them who they actually are?

quantity

The former more likely than the latter, but still not too high, since he seems to like to do his trolling in places like shoe departments. Low chance of trannies because woman's shoe size, low chance of whores because where are the clients.

Boomhauer is a texas ranger, and knows how to choose his hunting grounds well.

I'd let John Redcorn pick up my daughter over Quagmire, dude.

Quagmire didn't have sex with Meg, remember?

Only because a) Meg's parents tracked him down to his sex cabin before he could do it and b) they threatened to chop his dick off and feed it to Brian.

Any other circumstances, he'd roofie her drink and rape her unconscious body and dump her outside with his garbage. Quagmire's only really tolerable because everyone else in Family Guy is somehow worse than the serial rapist that has every kink in the book who has raped multiple women in no uncertain terms.

For fucks sake, he rests to the sounds of women screaming, yet he's still more of a better person than Brian is.

But that's how it works in real life. Try and fail and try again. The whole thing is to let loose your pride and don't take each failure to heart. The more you practice this the more easier it is to approach women.

>fat loser who doesn't even like himself enough to show them who they actually are
Because being a fat loser is who they actually are.

>everyone else in Family Guy is somehow worse than the serial rapist
Holy shit, this.

Dats different Brian don't take care his kids.

>John Redcorn

You're practically putting a sign over your daughter that says "Give Me Redskin Babies".

There are people fatter, dumber, smellier, and more repugnant as human beings who have managed to get laid without using drugs/alcohol, money, or rape to do so.

Unless you're a burn victim and your face was seared off down to the bone, you don't really have an excuse to shit on yourself for being unattractive because people will generally overlook your looks so long as you act like you know what you're doing.

Confidence and being yourself does work in the long term, you just have to convince yourself that you're not as much of a terrible person as you make yourself out to be.

>who they actually are
Fake it till you make it is a real thing bruv. You are what you act. """REAL SELF""" is a meme

Which ties into what I said about everyone else on Family Guy being worse than the serial rapist who uses women screaming as white noise.

Brian is such an unrepentant piece of trash in every appearance he makes after the revival that he somehow makes Quagmire look decent by comparison.

>women who agree to casual sex all have STD's, addictions, mental illnesses, are homeless etc
>decent, normal, functioning women don't want sex
okay user

>decent
Normal, functioning women might be sloots but decent ones are in short supply

>not wanting a baby with clearly superior genes

>that real estate episode where Quagmire pays for his dental implants even though he hates Brian, and the fucker still scams him out of his money anyway

The thing is, "fake it till you make it" only works BECAUSE you have the potential to be that type of person in the first place.

You can't fake confidence, either you have it or you just haven't gotten it yet. Also, the people who claim "real self is a myth" are the kind of human filth that nobody would admit to liking if they ever had to spend a long period of time around them while dealing with their bullshit.

Like, no shit nobody would respond well to who you actually are if the person you actually are is a shitty person with no positive personality traits.

>that episode where Brian finds out that Stewie has been going to an abusive daycare center and only calls the cops when he finds out that the owner had a boyfriend.

Are you implying that I'm fat? Because I'm pretty much the opposite of fat.

Sure you are buddy.

user, these people are talking about just trying to get laid, not actually find a meaningful relationship.

To get laid: Lie, cheat, fake it, whatever needs to be done
Relationship: Be yourself. Many will deny you but as long as your standards are not unreasonable (there's no such thing as the perfect one), you're end up finding one that likes you for you and hopefully vice versa.

>hungry skeleton.
Lmao

The thing is, you can only keep up the lie for so long and all the energy that you're expending to lie is energy that isn't being spent on actually getting yourself laid.

The point I'm making is, if you walk up to a random broad and she ain't feeling the real you, then fuck it, try it with someone else. Eventually you're going to find someone who is interested in you, even if it's just for that night.

Literally just go out and talk to women. That alone will build your confidence to some degree. It's all about practice and determination. If you never chatted a broad up then you'll always fucking up when you try, so experience is key. At some point you end up giving fucking all and doing a good job.

>There are people fatter, dumber, smellier, and more repugnant as human beings who have managed to get laid without using drugs/alcohol, money, or rape to do so.

Because they go for people that are just as fat, dumb, smelly, and repugnant as them or even worse. Most people don't want someone on their level or lower, they want to trade up.

Guys rape women constantly user

>implying there are no attractive to normal people that don't have a fetish for this shit.

why is kahn so high up?
financial stability?

If they were normal they wouldn't have that kind of fetish.

This, men that are successful with women sift through a lot of them, it's a numbers game for us where we have to become numb to rejection.

it's like the opposite of Johnny Bravo, there we only normally see the 9/10 failures, while with Boomhauer we mostly see the 1/10 successes

Boomhauer, guy's a Texas Ranger after all, plus he actually gives a damn about consensus

I blame it on Brian breaking up with Jillian, once that happened they kept revisiting the whole "Brian tries to date someone" pool and every time it dips Brian lower and lower

It's unlikely an average joe will find a "decent, normal, functioning women" who will hook up with a stranger for casual sex.

That's pretty much me.

Yeah, his genes are factually superior than that of a Caucasian, but you're still risking your daughter.

Well, skeleton might be a bit of an exaggeration though. I'm just quite thin.

"just be yourself" only works if you're an interesting person
so yeah of course it's not going to work for anyone on Sup Forums

It's 'bee' yourself.

'Be' doesn't work.

Doesn't he work out too? He's also foreign.

>implying he's not #1