Full-New X-Men Storytime, motherfuckers!

It's been a month or so since we've had one of these storytimes, and with issue 8 - the end of our second story-arc - finishing today, it seemed an apt moment to do one of these storytimes, to chat and screw around. For those of you joining us for the first time, what is Full-New X-Men? It's a comedy re-write of Brian Michael Bendis's infamous run of All-New X-Men, which publishes one new page per day every day at unxannyrewrites.tumblr.com/ With this said, let the storytiming commence!

Other urls found in this thread:

illuminatingcomics.tumblr.com/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

I should also give a shoutout to Illuminating Comics, which after a too-lengthy absence recently began putting out new pages recently. They do something quite similar to our project, but mostly with Captain Marvel comics as the source material. A big inspiration for our own efforts.

illuminatingcomics.tumblr.com/

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Fun fact about Illuminating Comics, by the by: I had a chance to chat for a while with the author of that blog the other day. And just as his (?) work inspired our blog, it seems like one of our earlier efforts inspired him. Some of you may have seen the notorious re-write of that one segment of Uncanny X-Men 600 with the two Icemans and Jean. Evidently that was the inspiration for his famous comic re-write "sitting," which tickled me to learn.

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This joke, which came about as a result of a simple typo where my finger slipped from the "X" key to the "C" key next to it has yielded one of our most enduringly beloved jokes.

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It's a good thing that Scott and company didn't lose any of their control over their powers after the whole Phoenix thing or anything or else this scene would have made no sense.

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And at last the actual main cast of the series makes their debut!

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And with that, issue 1 is complete. There will be a brief break and then I'll get on with issue 2.

And back for issue 2!

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These scenes where everyone is cross-talking and chattering back and forth are my favourites to re-write. Immonen's expressions and body language are a joy to misuse and repurpose.

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Bonus points to anyone who can name all of the instances which Logan is naming in the classroom scene there.

I wonder what magical thing will bring him back to life this time. My guess: leprechauns.

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lova ya OP

Not as much as I love you, my darling anonymous poster.

This page sets up a joke which takes four issues to pay off, but when it does it's one of my favourites in the comic so far.

Okay, another brief pause and then it's on to issue 3!

Issue 3: Commence!

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I unironically want these to be things he yells in MvC:I

My favourite one is coming up in issue 4, and there's a few more before that. But yes, I agree completely. And if he is in the game, I would literally pay someone to create a mod which includes these lines.

>which came about as a result of a simple typo where my finger slipped from the "X" key to the "C" key next to it
Wow, really? That was a pretty damn lucky mistake.

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Lucky for all of us! Though in fairness it wasn't WHILE I was writing that page, just something that happened earlier and put me in mind of the whole joke.

So I take it you're skipping the Nano-Sentinel plot. What will you when Battle of the Atom comes? What will Dark Beast plan be?

Noice. let the shipping commence

You literally ask this every thread and anons have been able to name those ever since the very first time you posted this to be honest

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>What will you when Battle of the Atom comes?

I think you forgot one really important word in that question. Can you ask me again so I know how to answer that?

>What will Dark Beast plan be?

Thus far we aren't doing the Uncanny X-Men issues aside from where they cross over with All-New (such as in Battle of the Atom) so we may never do that story at all. We've certainly discussed the idea of doing an Unxanny C-Men book as well, but it sort of hinges upon the level of support we're getting. We just hit our 100th follower on Tumblr today.

>You literally ask this every thread and anons have been able to name those ever since the very first time you posted this to be honest

I know, I know. But I expect that it'll be different people reading it each time; my assumption is that participants in those earlier threads will mostly take a pass on reading the new one since it's old material to them, or at least wait until it gets near the current issue.

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Have some more MvC:I attack names!

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I will say that if we don't wind up doing Unxanny C-Men, my greatest regret will be not being able to play with Illyana more. She's like the dry wit counterpart to Beast, and I love her involvement in the group.

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Faceoff! Issue 4!

I kind of detested the fact that in the original script, everyone instantly jumps to the correct conclusion about who these time-lost X-Men are, and so I've had a lot of fun having people constantly guessing wrong, and also having very different guesses from one another.

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Beast's ludicrous approach to this topic is one of the first jokes I thought of when I started planning this story arc, and I still love the way it's playing out.

Also, on that previous page, I'm a little sad that nobody has ever commented on Erik using the term "videotaping" and commenting on how antiquated that is.

The issue of how they got to Texas so quickly has never stopped bugging me and will never stop bugging Scott. It will haunt him until the day that he dies.

Fucking Warren, am I right?

Boy there's a lot of double page spreads in a row in this issue.

I'm a 90's kid. that 'tape' isn't synonymous with recording like it used to be never even occurred to me until you pointed it out just now

Someone always asks during one of these threads, so I'll just say that Eva's 200% maximum over-Aussie lingo isn't meant to be a faithful reproduction of Australian English so much as it is a commentary on the fact that aside from the occasional "mate," Bendis literally gave her not a single Australia-ism ever, which seems like such a squandered opportunity for characterization to me.

I'm a child of the 80s, and I just sort of assume that kids these days no longer use the term though obviously I can't actually ask them because anyone born before the year 2000 speaking with a teenager is automatically presumed to be a pederast. It will be a mystery to me forever.

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Jean sure does get comfortable with using her telepathy in a responsible manner quickly. Like a fish to water!

The serendipity of Scott's disgusted expression in that final panel makes me laugh every single time.

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And there's issue 4 done! There will be another quick pause as I take care of some work stuff and then on with issue 5. Gimmie some comments and questions I can reply to when I start posting again in the meantime!

fun fact: it's a well documented part of Australian culture that whenever we go overseas we start talking 200% more stereotypically without even realizing it
it's almost like a defense reflex

So stay in your nightmare island then, we're full

And on with issue 5!

Is "rock in" as a term meaning "to arrive" a particular Australia-ism? I first heard it from an Aussie acquaintance of mine and assigned its weirdness to her Australianism, but upon examination it could just be a youth culture thing that has nothing to do with her nationality.

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'rock on up' is a more common phrase, but if you say 'rock in' people still get your meaning

I can only guess it has something to do with the way you rock when riding horseback

I could be misremembering it. She was a World of Warcraft player and was talking about how she was doing some raid or something when a group of her guildmates "rocked in," and I had to ask her what in the hell that meant. I wasn't sure if I should be feeling old or feeling non-Australian.

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I hate you so much and I hope you implode.

Illuminated Bro is great, thanks for the love

Imploding is like giving yourself the tightest hug there is. A gesture of supreme love and validation. I wish you all the best as well, internet friend.

Hah! Is that you? If so I suppose I should say that my presumption of your gender is based upon that one pyramid-headed avatar of yourself in that one comic you did, but who knows.

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>everyone instantly jumps to the correct conclusion about who these time-lost X-Men are
It's a weird thing about Bendis. His characters are always extremely ignorant about everything, but whenever they jump to a conclusion with little information they're always right.

nah, it is a thing people say, just not that often.
"I was down at the pub with Decco the other week, and you'll never guess who should rock in but the manager of that derro maccas in mt. druitt, and I fucking swear he was on the nod"

They seem to mostly just hold whatever beliefs, opinions and knowledge Bendis himself has, whether or not it makes sense for the character. Bendis doesn't care about Captain Britain? Then Iron Man is disdainful of him too while Bendis writes him. Bendis knows what's going on with the plot? Then so do the characters.

Finally, all the hours I spent poring over sites devoted to Australian slang serves a useful purpose. I understood almost all of that.

Nah, I'm not Illuminated, just an enthusiastic fan.

I really dig your shit too, especially the bit where, like Bendis, the only thing that happens in the grand scheme, is a whole lot of nothing, but except this time it feels leisurely, exposing, and for fucks sake, no is trying to force me to worship these characters

Through parody, they become free of the tell, not showy bits of bendis that go "woah, much iconic, what do you mean Jean Grey is a cunt, she can't be, she's jean grey" that transform this thing from garbage into genuinely enjoyable

I really enjoy Hank and Jean's fondness for one another while they're constantly venomous or dismissive of everyone else. Sets the stage for some stuff a little ways down the line and actually feels pretty organic to their characters.

which bit didn't you understand?

I can't wait to see what you do with the Trial of Jean Grey.
I'm particularly interested in what you have in mind for the scene where Jean Grey finds out her entire family was dead. It always bothered me that after being in the present for a considerable period of time, she never bothered contacting or finding out what her family was doing. Especially since from her perspective, it's only been a few months since she's left them and you'd think she'd miss them a little.

One of the nicest things I ever saw anyone say about this re-write in a Reddit thread someone else had started about it was "I wish Full-New X-Men were canon. In its best moments I sometimes forget that it's not." I like to think that I give the characters personalities which are at least suggested by the source material if not actually explored within it. And then naturally blown up to comedic proportions.

"On the nod." To me it sounds like "sleepy," at least intuitively, but the context doesn't suggest that meaning.

Well, you got me following your stuff for longer than Bendis did, so you can count a win there.