Shallow Hal taught me to hit on ugly chicks because it makes them so happy and they'll do everything to make you have a...

Shallow Hal taught me to hit on ugly chicks because it makes them so happy and they'll do everything to make you have a fun night, while making pretty girls jealous.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=Y6pfrT3bHpM
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

choose too much and you will never have sex

>tfw I'm 21 and have a super autistic 35 year old female vrigin friend
>when I meet her somewhere to have lunch or something people always stare at her and her autistic ways (she's als not very pretty)
>last time we had lunch together a waitress asked me if my friend had paid for my company as I was coming out of the restroom
>I'm her only IRL friend (I know her through family friends)
>tfw at uni I have a really fat friend with crazy bad acne scars and I can hear people snicker at her as she walks by she's not autistic though and she has a bf who's into fat chicks so I guess she's fine

stop bringing up old shit , let threads die . go to bed .

I taught me that the Farrelly brothers were just lucky with their first couple of films

Can someone explain to me how this is supposed to be a 'cure' to his shallowness when it's still entirely based on how hot she is? Like if he has magic glasses on to show him hot broads then that's still how he's making his decisions... am I thinking too much about this?

what if i want the fat one instead

She was such a sweetheart that he learned to appreciate such things.

>11th grade
>2 girls like me, one fat sperg and one stacy
>I'm basically the only boy who didn't bully the sperg (which is probably why she liked me so much)
>one day kiss the stacy after school near the school building
>stacy starts laughing
>she's laughing at the sperg who's walking by and crying
>break it off with stacy
>sperg disappears from school for a month
i'm a monster since I specifically kissed stacy there because I knew the sperg passed it on her way home

fucking cunt

How much truth is in the notion that people are the most attracted to people who look caguely like themselves?

I hope you told that waitress cunt off, mate. Stick up for your friends.

they are the same girl, just the angle is different

a fat girl once paid me $10 to let her kiss me, which i did and it was a terrible mistake because she immediately told every girl i tried to approach afterward that she was my gf i used the money to buy weed :(

she told a girl i was dating like 3 years later randomly once, shit was creepy as fuck

It's probably her most cherished memory.

it's one of my most shameful desu wit you senpai

Is the fat chick male prostitution business booming?

idk m8 this was when i was in my very early teens and easily bought

>gwyneth IRL

a young girl gave a friend of mine a love letter for me to read but i was embarrassed because they laughed when they handed it to me so i threw it in the bin and then the girl asked me about it later but I forgot what I told her
tfw im so horny and lonely now i'd legit fuck a 60 year old and the only love letter i've ever received i've never read

None. I'm not good looking and yet I'm still attracted to good looking people.

too fat too skinny
ugly and ugly

"Gwyneth" sounds like someone with a lisp named their child.

>too skinny
Impossible.

you can send her to the anotomy class, and they don't even need to dissect

cool pic bro

dont be ashamed brother, i respect the hustle

>>tfw I'm 21 and have a super autistic 35 year old female vrigin friend
Can I marry her please?

thanks user

brotherly dubs checked

I'm not even sure if she's interested in relationships or if she likes men (she's kind of boyish).

you can always be thinner, look better

>Fat is Ugly

No

>gwyneth
>hard working
7 LIMES

L
I
M
E
S

Gwyneth just got engaged! What would you gift her at the wedding if you were invited?

Also, best Halloween costume.

my big fat dick in all of her orifaces while her fiancee watches in a mixture of approval and dismay

Ask her, she sounds literally perfect for me.

What do you look for in a woman? How old are you?

wtf how old is he

Same age, I want an ugly 30something chick who's not a massive whore.

Hollywood taught me all women will accuse me of sexual assault and rape.
If I marry them with kids they'll take me for everything with alimony and child support.
Thanks, Hollywood.
I don't trust women at all and I'm never leaving the house in case a woman sees me and yells rape and I'm sent to prison for the rest of my life.

She's perfect for you then. she's unironically a huge Joss Whedon fan though,
not sure how many people on Sup Forums would respond to that

26

>cougar gwyneth
based

>26
He's going to destroy her fortune when tgey get divorced next year.

Good

Oh god even Sup Forums losers have their limits user

>tfw no cougar gf

go for it then, mate. Don't let anyone on a Chinese imageboard tell you how to live

this but unironically

>tfw only fat ugly chicks like me
I can take skinny and ugly or fat with a nice face but not fucking fat and ugly damnit
Doesn't help that fat ugly girls usually have awful personalities

>tfw only black girls hit on me

But how hairy is she?

Fucking hell same here, and not the rare hot black chicks either

based fatty enabler keeping the american species from dying out.

Too young or too old here, seems I'm not what girls my age are looking for.

They're just alpha.

I get a decent number of cute black and half/quarter black girls that hit on me, but I live in an area that's about 50% black.

*blocks your path*

I never understood what she meant by this. Like to me that doesn't seem like much to get by on, but at the same time those are some pretty poor choices for a cheap/healthyish diet. It's Gwenyth Paltrow so idk if she's pointing out how little you can get for that much money or if she thinks this is enough food for a week.

Does she test those vibrators herself?

Se7en limes.

>work my ass off
>1 hour and and a half 5 days a week

Gee, how can she survive such brutal conditions?

fuck off goop, stay in america
we don't want you over here inshallah

That sounds appropriate for exercise.

Staying thin/attractive for women is 90% dieting.

7 limes.
One for every day of the week.

She's rich lad, she doesn't know how to manage a small budget. I'm sure she genuinely thought she had a good point.

ITT: Films that would never be made today.

>squozen

His neighbor was the best girl.

She was hot throughout the whole movie. So she was a good person and hot.

>1.5 hours 5 days a week
My mom is as skinny as she is and she only does 30 minutes 5 days a week, although she's generally pretty active.

Well?

wish I read this 7 years ago

Paltrow isn't right in the head though, in a multitude of ways.

She's absolutely right in the head. It's all a big joke to her.
youtube.com/watch?v=Y6pfrT3bHpM
0:58

B A S E D

I’m convinced this is true. I see it everyday

/ourgirl/

>shallowness
been dating an overweight girl for 8 months. She's 8/10 personality, face, and possibly 9/10 intelligence (dad has a grad degree from Harvard). Don't think I can continue because of the fatness though. Kinda sucks. it's gonna kill her, but I just don't want to have sex with her badly enough. Too bad because she's a keeper in most other ways. Fucking food.

>she just does it for the money
Yea typical Hollywood.

why don't you just start transitioning her into eating healthier food? is her weight a very sensitive topic?

Well, I like fat hairy women so it might be true.

>admitting you're a scam artist on national television and getting away with it
wew

This. Just slowly get her into losing weight. Start doing more physical activity yourself and get her to join in. Stop buying foods that might make her fat, and buy more food that won't. If you don't already, start cooking.

Ugly duckling syndrome for the win, you get a good looking girl that believes she is ugly

How does It feel to be a manwhore?

I've tried talking about it before. She's "happier" not watching what she eats closely. Showed me pics of when she was thin in college. Naked, very hot.

I thought about saying "Look, you've got to lose weight, because it's making our sex life suffer." But I also just want to fuck other women, and wasn't really planning on turning this into a multiyear relationship, so all together I think I should just end it. /blog

Plot Twist: Out in reality, that many vegetables in a non-fly over state is like $50-60.

Being poor I actually have to grocery shop for myself unlike Miss Paltrow.

Point out that fat people sex leaves everyone a little disappointed.

The more you weigh, the worse it is no matter what or how or who.

And in all honesty nothing but fucking and pizza matters.

>tfw could never lower my standards for a uggo or fattie

I guess I die a virgin

hit on chicks you have shit in common with so you don't have to try as hard to impress them, it's just organic

>"but I don't have anything in common with women"

More likely you just have shit hobbies, diversify yourself, you'll be happier and more well-rounded as a person in the process.

Same.
Don't lower your standards if you don't want to.

>mfw still holding out for a girl that likes to masturbate excessively, shitpost on Sup Forums and Reddit while collecting NEETBUX and marathoning movies, tv shows and playing Fallout/Skyrim.

She would be pretty if she wasn't fat. That's about it though.

>Fallout/Skyrim
>reddit
i bet you mean fallout 3 and 4 right? i knew you bethcucks were reddit

Of course! :^)

You mean fallout didn't start with 3?

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttt

>In fiscal year 2016, the average recipient received about $126 a month
She doesn't point out that ~$29 is for a single person. The S in the SNAP program is SUPPLEMENTAL, as in additional to your income. Keep in mind that if you're poor enough for food stamps, you're poor enough for all the other welfare benefits, so your other expenses are already lower.

>chocker