Golden Compass

What went wrong? Does even user remember that this shit has existed?

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theguardian.com/film/filmblog/2009/dec/15/golden-compass-sam-elliot-catholic-church
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theguardian.com/film/filmblog/2009/dec/15/golden-compass-sam-elliot-catholic-church

Short version:

>Sam Elliot believes the Catholic church killed off any chances of a sequel to The Golden Compass

>some triggered religious people
Who gives a shit about them anyways. It's not like they are obligated to watch it.
What are they gonna do? Cry on their jesus forums?

the author is a fedora tipping atheist and felt the need to force it into his books, and people thought he'd do the same in his movies and killed the franchise

>What went wrong?
They tried to compress a 400 page book into 110 minutes. For reference, the second Hary Potter movie covered ~ 360 pages in 160 minutes, and the LOTR took about three hours per book (and they still cut out a ton of stuff). You can only cut so much before the cracks in your armor start to show.

Sup Forums is a Christian board.

Tippers please leave

Disappointed they didn't adapt the third book, where 13 year old Lyra and her boyfriend spend weeks doing nothing but fucking somewhere out in the country. Would have been kino. Literally all I remember from that book when I read it 8 years ago.

>m-muh christian conspiracy

no, philip, honey, you just suck...

The second book was kino though

I only remember this because I went to see it with my friend and his mom as a kid. Can't tell you a damn thing about it though.

Fuck yeah I do.

I wanted to see more of evil Nicole Kidman scolding her monkey. Why do Christfags have to ruin everything?

Is this Volibear in the picture?

the Panserbjorne are the best part of the franchise as far as I can tell so not a big loss

Doesn't the main girl have massive tits now?

Yeah.

i heard it was atheist propaganda, that probably made a lot of parents ban their kids from watching it

They didn't have the balls to adapt it faithfully.

No fedora tipping victorian scientists ritual sacrificing a child to open a portal to heaven just a generic happy ending instead

I've only seen it once long ago so I don't know if half of this is true. But I've read the trilogy cover to cover several times as a kid.

- The casting was perfect so no problems there.
- There was next to no memorable music so that was a problem.
- I think there was too much of an emphasis on the 'battle' scenes of the film. It came out after LotR and the success of The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe, during a period when every fantasy movie felt necessary to shoehorn in 'epic' battle scenes. The polar bear fight should not have been hyped up as much as it was, nor should have the ending scene where they liberate the children from the facility.
- It should have been made to be more 'mature'. Accessible to kids, yes, but thematically for adults (just like the books). Something more akin to The Secret Garden (1993). Should have gotten that director or someone like Terry Gilliam to direct.
- Should not have cut back on the parallels to the Catholic Church/organized religion, but actually I feel like the movie could have sidestepped the entire controversy by ignoring The Magisterium entirely in the first movie. The scenes with Christopher Lee and the rest of the Magisterium could have been entirely omitted, because it humanized them and detracted from their mystery and power. The magisterium should have been a faceless entity, a hidden hand whose network spanned the far reaches of the world. And iirc they weren't really central to the plot of the first movie/book anyway aside from the fact that they were the ones conducting the experiments (which should have been close to a final act reveal) and they weren't the 'big bad' anyway. So yea, they should have been largely omitted until the final acts when it's revealed (falsely) that they're the villains only for the 'real' villain (who also didn't turn out to be the villain in the grand scheme) Lord Asriel to be revealed at the end.

cont'd

>abuses the spoiler function
>refences a shit game

yup, its a Sup Forums nigger. shoo, videogames are for children and brainlets

what's going on with the new bbc series? i have more hope in that one

Jesus

Aww yeah.

- Should have kept the original ending where Lord Asriel sacrifices the kid (Roger?) as a cliffhanger of sorts. Way better than the ending we got.
- Lyra's Oxford and world was a bit different from how I perceived them to be from the books. Also should have toned down the kiddy shit where kids with their daemons could stand their own against adults (I know this happens in the books, but should have changed it for the movie).

I'm not sure about splitting the first book into several movies. I think one movie could have worked, they just needed to storyboard it a bit more wisely and efficiently.

lmao now we need a reboot of His Dark Materials where she fucks all the male characters

K. I think the idea of animals belonging only to certain people, (was it kids, but didn't Katie Holmes have one?) or something, was an incredibly dumb idea that couldn't have worked with any run time. Not too sure because I didn't get past fifteen minutes.

About as memorable as Eragon. I never read back the first book, did anything remotely interesting happen the rest of the 75% of that series?

Basically, way too much studio interference leading to a mess of a final product. They shouldn't have pussied out on the actual themes of the book. Own up to the controversy and get attention out of it, get people to want to see what all the fuss is about.

Cutting out the ending entirely was the most heinous part of the movie by far, that was sheer incompetence.

Book 2 was pure tweenkino and 3 had Lyra having sex.

>mfw I remember debating atheistfags on IMDB who thought that this movie would get a sequel based on the "huge" overseas box office.

What are the elves like in those books?

Dumb atheist propaganda.
Chronicles of Narnia is pure fantasy kino on the other hand and it's no surprise that it's inspired by Christianity.

>What went wrong?
Fantasy is a bad genre.

It's true.

this is the only movie i'm aware of where they scripted, shot, and edited the ending (you can see it in the trailers), then cut it out to try to have a better sequel hook. as a result the story literally just stops with no resolution and credits roll. it can't even be considered a cliffhanger.

i could not believe my fucking eyes.

It's nice to go through a time machine where religious white people are the ones to shut things down at random.

Movie adaptions of books are shit. prove me wrong

There's no way it was because of a sequel hook, the actual ending is a way bigger sequel hook. It's more likely they were just too pussy to depict a child getting murdered.

The kids spirit animals could shapeshift freely while the adults ones were locked to a specific form I think which gave them a combat advantage in some cases. Can't really remember it's been nearly a decade since I read these books last

This shit reads like false flagging, and no, Chronicles of Narnia is shit.

The animals are literally external personifications of their souls. If you're a kid yours can change shape. As you get older it assumes a permanent form. THere's a lot more to it than that but I haven't read this shit in over 10 years and there were a lot of moving parts.

>The animals are literally external personifications of their souls.
>The kids spirit animals could shapeshift freely while the adults ones were locked to a specific form I think which gave them a combat advantage in some cases.
Uh-huh. That's like JRPG-tier nonsense.

Saw this recently and basically agree with you.
Child talents were ok in this one. Nicole Kidman was not so ok.

>explicitly christian book series turned into movie
>"10/10 make sure to take your kids!"
>explicitly atheist book series turned into movie
>"devil devil devil, round up the bonfires!"
>Sup Forums pats Christians on the back for being levelheaded
Accurate ones sure do.

>That's like JRPG-tier nonsense.
see:

>if this movie was a success we wouldn't need Twilight and Hunger Games and Divergents

Not quite. I don't know why, but almost nothing in Harry Potter sounds that stupid, and if it does, it doesn't come out as as the series main hook within the first several minutes. I don't know why, but the idea of wizards and witches existing among us and having secret schools sounds so much less dumb than a fantasy universe where people have animals as a projection of themselves, or whatever.

moar

Poor marketing for a film based on a book that wasn't super popular to begin with. It had its audience but it was nowhere near something like Harry Potter or LOTR or Narnia levels of literary fame. Hell the only reason it got the audience it did was because of the controversy surrounding it.

To be perfectly frank, the movie wasn't very good. I would like to see a complete film series realized but they're going to have to reboot it to do it justice.

>but almost nothing in Harry Potter sounds that stupid
Most of the character's names were porn-name-tier.

>the author is a fedora tipping atheist

Is that why he attends Church of England services regularly?

>Christian Board
try larper contrarians who do nothing to actually strengthen their faith.

Bot everyone who crticizes your shit rapist savior is a fucking fedora, christfag. This isnt your safespace, get the fuck out and stay out

K. Still not as stupid as the single thing I remember from this movie.

Who the fuck were you thinking of?

Milkers

you know it

I feel a bit biased towards Nicole Kidman playing the role as Ms. Coulter because I independently envisioned her as that character when I first read the books. This was back in 1998 or so before the movie was conceived. I actually had a conversation with a childhood friend who introduced me to the books and we both agreed that she would make a good choice. It's was either her acting or the direction that held her character back imo.

I also envisioned Lee Scoresby as being much younger and looking like Starke of Rath from MTG.
I can't find the illustration anymore since an image search for 'Lee Scoresby' just gives a lot of Sam Elliot pictures, but I distinctly there either being an MTG card or an illustration of Lee Scoresby that portrayed a Starke-looking like character on a hot air balloon.

It's been so long. I miss those days because it was relatively rare.

It was shot as a 3 hour faithful adaptation of the book and New Line cut it like a bunch of cucks, including deleting the ending.

The BBC is apparently making a TV adaptation of the whole trilogy, so we'll see how that goes.

Sup Forums is /scientologist/

>Hey you know that annoying blueberry cunt from Willy Wonka? Cast Lyra with some annoying shit that sounds just like that

Even if it had been good how the fuck did they intend to do the sequels? The whole "God is evil" plot doesn't even come into play until the second book but when it does it's literally the entire plot. There's no amount of editing that could have gotten away from it.

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It failed because it was a castle built on sand. Edginess as a theme and a foundation of godlessness will get you nowhere.

this movie fucking rules

christcucks got butthurt and they canned the movies

BBC is making a tv series though which will probably be ok?