What are your star wars last jedi predictions?

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I will be pleasantly content watching it and I shall exit the theater being perhaps a touch underwhelmed but overall satisfied.

A shitty movie. 7 was the worst movie i have ever seen

first post saddest realization post.

We're all in for an ok to average time.

I just hope Rey isn't Luke's daugter

I predict that I won't watch it.

Expecting the worst Star Wars movie to date.

Something a long the lines of this. I’lol think it’s the most awesome shit while I’m watching it in the theaters then the more and more I think about it after I get home I’ll become less and less enamoured with it.

Kylo betrays Snoke to save Rey, his lightsaber turns white to symbolize his turning, but mostly so they can sell more toys. How the hell else is his lightsaber going to show up with all this red shit everywhere?

I'm expecting a 6-7/10

TFA was 4-5/10 for me

I'll leave the theater feeling it was very satisfactory, and as time goes on I'll settle on pretty good but not excellent.

i predict that i haven't given a shit about star wars since george sold it to disney, now it's for people who don't know star wars but know HAN SOLO WHOAAAA

Rey’s parents are the bf2 protagonists

BLACKED

Kids will love it and that's all that matters.
You guys know this franchise is for kids, right?

An Empire Strikes Back clone that will satisfy the dumb masses but will annoy me.

B-BUT THE A-AGENDA

The force is transgender.

Rey turns to the dark side.
Boyega becomes a jedi. Also, i love Kylo's voice

The film will begin with our heroes on an icy planet called Toth. Then they get attacked by the First Order. Rey flies off to a swamp world to train with Luke, called Modubah. Then Finn and Poe escape the First Order and hide out in an asteroid. Then our heroes get together on a gaseous planet, Pesbin, and Rey confronts Kylo. Unfortunately for our Yaas Queen, she loses her hand.

>his lightsaber turns white

Do you even Star Wars?

The color of the sword is determined by the color of the crystal inside of it. It's a reflection of it. Why would the crystal which is red turn white by it self?

BTW, the crystal inside of Kylo's sword is but one third of Vader's original sword crystal. Snoke has one third and Luke has the Last third.

Empire Strikes Back with lots of CGI and quips

Some of the movies show limb dismemberment and one movie has the protagonist killing children.

Unless Watership Down is the standard by which kids movies are created, these are for adults.

and Bambi's mom got shot and the old man went to bed with a lump on his head and died, it's for kids bruh

Restoring corrupted kyber crystals is canon.

>Why would the crystal which is red turn white by it self?
The Force

Kylo will the wooden.

Rey will forced as shit.

Luke will be phoning it in.

Finn the Human will steal the movie.

>le it's for kids
and yet if no adults went to see it, it would underperform horribly

I thought corruption turns them red, I guess they can get restored?

Yes, the adults need to bring their kids... Let's call it a family movie

That's not how the force works

>Rey becomes Sith
>Fin becomes Jedi
>Fin saves Rey
They fuck and Fin's semen cleanses the Skywalker bloodline from their evil sith midichlorians. Star Wars is the story of Skywalkers and of their tainted blood, curse that is passed between generations. Rey taking Fin's dick is the perfect finale to the whole epic.

Bonus, Fin is the chosen one. You've been tricked into thinking its Rey, but Fin is the one who had an awakening.

Oh yeah explain it to me then faggot

Snoke turns out to be one of the young padawan slain by Anankin, one who survived mutilated and disfigured and then embraced the dark side because his condition filled him with hatred and sorrow, Sidius trained him secretly because although phisically harmless he was very powerfull in the psychic way, over the years Snoke developed the power to regenerate himself by absorbing the lifeforce from other beings, and Jedi are powerplants of lifeforce, but when at the time he mastered this ability there weren't anymore lesser jedi to devour; his plan now is to use Kylo to capture Rey, devour her and then Kylo himself.

SHUT UP REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I think it wud b cool if Snoke was some random Force-sensitive Stormtrooper who survived the blowing up of the Death Star with terrible wounds and immersed himself in the Dark Side to seek his vengeance on the Rebellion for blowing up his mates

If this'd happen i would seriously cheer and clap for a second. Make this happen disney

But why would he be after Rey? Why would he be friends with Kylo, the guy who loves Darth Vader, who was Anakin, who fucked up his shit?

>corrupted crystals

I hate EU so fucking much.

Lion King had a kid watching his dad trampled to death and then bad guy getting ripped apart by hyenas.

I need more about Snoke and the dark side. Hopefully we see more of Luke's recent past. I wanna see different aliens too , always fun

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the force isn't for gay shit like that the force is for ripping star destroyers out of orbit and blasting hordes of troops away, lol fucking loser read some lore

if you think that shit would fly today hoo boy are you dumb. minions is current year kiddyshit.

No bullshit pg and pg13 movies lately have been pushing the envelope in terms of explicit content/language. Even animated films

I'm betting a fight scene between Finn and Phasma.

"I am your mother."

They fight in the trailer so your bet is kinda retarded.

Snoke is stronger than Kylo and could have devoured him, but Kylo is also thirsty for power, so it's easy to manipulate, that's why Snoke decided not to reveal to him (and everyone) his origins and to use him to found Rey, in this way he can devour them both, one after one, and become twice as powerfull

Disney canon

>found
find

okay but not kids movies you utter fucking simpleton, if any adults went into minions thinking it was "pushing the envelope" they were probably fresh off the DART bus

Boiiii how many cartoon ass cheeks and low key adult jokes did u notice in minions. Suck a fat one

Pretty much this, best way of putting it.

>I’lol
What did he mean by this?

It will make a lot of money and disney will keep making more

If thats true then why are the overwhelming majority of Star Wars fans adults 30+ years old?

>Rey wants Luke to train her but he doesn't want to because he fears she will end up like Kylo and he thinks the time for the Jedi is over
>she starts training by herself and amazes Luke with her super cool skills and her superior control of the Force
>Luke still won't train her but gives her a shitload of exposition regarding the Force, its history, how it works and what the fuck is balance
>Finn wakes up and along with Poe they go investigate Snoke's casino or something
>they discover the First Order's new evil plan but they are found out and must fight their way out
>Kylo regrets killing Han and doesn't kill his mother, coming to the realization that the Dark Side is as a shit as the Light Side
>Kylo somehow tracks Rey to Luke's hideout and after a brief fight and some talking they decide to works together to bring the balance
>Rey also asks Kylo to train her because Luke is a fag
>somehow they all end up in Snoke's ship
>Rey tries to fight him but he is too strong
>Kylo pussies out and won't help her
>Luke shows up and fights Snoke
>meanwhile, Finn and Poe must deal with the First Order attacking the Resistance base in NotHoth and probably ruin whatever new evil plan they have
>Kylo turns on Snoke and helps everyone escape
>Luke dies while holding him off
>the Resistance base falls but the characters who matter survive, maybe Leia doesn't
>movie tries to end in a somber yet hopeful note like ESB by showing us that the First Order is more dangerous than ever but now that the cast is together they can stop it
>also we got Kylo and Finn quipping when they meet
That's my guess.

It will have ~15 minutes of enjoyable scenes but I will enjoy the shitposting on Sup Forums

She's Obi-Wan's granddaughter
youtube.com/watch?v=OstlcHLRHg8

They can't have Rey and Kylo Ren bang if they're related, but that's assuming that everyone in post-Lucas Star Wars isn't asexual (which they all seem to be)

Obi-Wan died a decade before Rey could have possibly been conceived.

this, except in reverse, Rey will reveal her inner freak after years of abstinence.

Wait, I read daughter instead of granddaughter.
It's impossible anyway. Obi's waifu was a mandalorian queen who got killed by Maul years before ANH and I doubt there were any females from him to fuck in Tatooine aside from aunt Beru and female Tusken Raiders.

B- but it's a family picture!

> a mandalorian queen who got killed by Maul years before ANH
Is that part of extended universe? Because you know that means.
>and female Tusken Raiders.
Doujins fucking when?!

John Boyaga gets his BBC out and swings it around for 30 straight minutes whilst going "OOGA BOOGA"

It's part of The Clone Wars cartoon which is canon.

This.

Wanna see the ending? Buy lootboxes for a chance to unlock Rey in it!

that's disney's invention though. In the EU there were red crystals, in the new canon every red lightsaber just means that the wielder has corrupted the """kyber""" crystal. Somehow Disney insists on ruining the Taoist foundation of the force and making the dark side out to be unnatural.

The Dark Side was meant to be unnatural, the old EU was the one that made it into just another side of the Force.

Taoist force was always a fanfic. Dark side is the corrupted force. Sith are evil.

Poe is confirmed gay and Sup Forums gets triggered

> We're all in for an ok to average time.
98 on tomatoes, 8.2 on imdb, 87 metascore. "The darkest of the new trilogy", "thoughtful and beautiful sendoff for Carie Fisher", "simply amazing"

Clone Wars has an entire episode devoted to it how the force does consist of two sides naturally and that's still canon.

>Rey Palpatine
>Snoke is Plagueis
>Kylo turns to the light side, Rey dark and captured by snoke & FO
bonus
>Hux goes rogue and Snoke's new apprentice will assassinate Hux early in ep 9

7 was like Abrams spitting in my face. It wasn't anything to do with star wars, but the film was so fucking dumb and farcical. It felt like it was insulting me for being stupid enough to watch it.

"mirrors TESB without being derivative"

pottery

I bet this is what is going to happen. After the last film, I have to assume they're just going to repeat the OT.

Don't forget about the fucking force tree

Also, Luke will do absolute jack shit in this movie. As confirmed by Mark

The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

>Luke will do absolute jack shit in this movie
(not true, by the way)

We shall see.
Still going by my theory

That's not the EU, that's straight from Disney

90+% on RT, loved by all kids and manchildren, won't come anywhere near Avatar or Titanic at the box office (again), and will be forgotten and never discussed in max 2 months

Just like TFA.

God that animation is so shit.

Why did they go with it?

Star Wars battlefront 2's campaign killed any hope for the franchise

They completely bait and switched their audience, promising something new and interesting, but instead Disney turned it into a vehicle to promote "iconic" star wars characters and their own movies

That's similar to how I felt with TFA... only I thought it was OK and then the more I contemplated the more I realized how crappy it was. A lot of modern Disney movies have this problem actually. I don't think I'll watch TLJ in theaters or at all. I still haven't seen Rogue One.

The director has said this film, unlike TFA, has no need to rehash from older Star Wars as its function is not to reboot, but to establish the new canon and characters.

It'll suck.

What does that have anything to do with what I said?

I'm immediately going to overract and shitpost on my phone about how its the worst movie ever made as soon as the opening title crawl and livepost on Sup Forums throughout the movie

There's nothing to discuss about a film that's pretty much the same as ep. IV, if this is a new story (like he says) there will be plenty.

Except people still discuss TFA you mong
>b-b-but that doesnt count because muh epic four chan hivemind told me to hate it and forget about it so that means everyone else does too

I love how butthurt star wars manchild redditors sperg out massively whenever anyone dares criticize their precious franchise, even on fucking Sup Forums.

They actually take it personally when anyone ever says anything bad about star wars, that's the extent of their brainwashing. Absolutely pathetic and embarrassing.

From your point of view...

>Luke will commit sepuku to bring in an attempt to bring balance to the force by destroying its dualistic nature.
>Padawan girl will kill sith emo in cold blood establishing her inevitable descent toward the dark side, too old etc.
>Lots of CGI.

I'm simply annoyed by the folks that deflect any criticism leveled against TFA.

youtube.com/watch?v=lSPNQ82Sq4E

>Finn the fag and forced gay couple
>Leia dies
>Rei becomes sith
>Finn becomes jedi, last jedi
screencap this

It'll be an episode 5 rehash with worse writing, worse characters, more le epic quips and retarded shit, and a large helping of pushing the agenda of those who shall not be named.

So it's just like TFA.

I will leave the theater feeling fairly positive but not blown away. Once my brain starts working again I will realize what a lousy, safe, uninspired assembly line mess of a movie it is