If you go out on a movie date, does the girl expect you to pay for tickets and snacks...

If you go out on a movie date, does the girl expect you to pay for tickets and snacks? Is it rude to ask her if she wants to split it?

Unless it's a first date AND you specified it would be dutch when you made the date, you should be paying for it, yes. And no, don't propose going dutch after the date is already arranged: that's pretty much being an Indian giver.

If she OFFERS to spit it, you can take her up on it (although, again, only if it's like a first date, IMO), but don't ask.

What about swallowing?

I've never been on a date, but if it ever happens for me, I wouldn't dream of letting her pay for anything. Don't you want to be a gentleman, OP? Don't you want to pay for her tickets and snacks? Don't ask her to split it. Don't say anything, just pay for her stuff. If she offers to pay for herself, don't let her. Just say, "Oh, please," and pay.

Movies aren't very good first dates.

I haven't been on many, either, but from my limited personal experience and what I've gleaned from others, I would just point out that for some odd reason, sometimes a suggestion to go dutch is the best way to get a reluctant girl to agree to go out with you in the first place. I think it's probably because it makes it seem less like a serious date and more like a friendly thing. Once you're past that stage and on to a second date, it's not really applicable, IMO, unless she's the stronk womyn sort, in which case the long term prospects are probably bad anyway.

But in any case, it has to be stated up front if you're gonna split. Once the date has been made, you've got to assume you're paying unless she positively INSISTS otherwise (which I would personally read as a bad sign).

This, too.

Although "dinner and a movie" can work (dinner first gives you a chance to feel out the chemistry, and if it's not there you may end up mutually agreeing to bail on the movie). A movie alone doesn't give you much chance to interact and actually determine the viability of a second date, which is the main purpose of a first date.

>sometimes a suggestion to go dutch is the best way to get a reluctant girl to agree to go out with you in the first place.
Maybe, but I'm not sure I'd want to go out with a girl who's reluctant. And I wouldn't let her pay under any circumstances.

Always offer, never insist.

My trick is to tell her what you'll grab and leave the rest to her. For posterity go with the bigger half."I'll grab the food you grab the tickets".

Hey look, you're an organised, egalitarian man who can give orders and make decisions.

I would never tell a girl to pay for anything on a date.

Girls frequently just have their guard up and you have to get them to let it down a bit, and other times they are playing hard-to-get, and making you work for it. If you don't play the game, you can't win.

If they really don't want to go out with you, then offering to make it a no-pressure, friendly dutch date isn't likely to persuade them, anyway. It's the ones who ARE at least somewhat interested but not letting on that it may work with.

And yeah, if the date goes well and there's chemistry, you may be able to persuade her (though you probably shouldn't insist too hard) to let you pay even though you agreed to split it. If it doesn't and/or there isn't, then you'll probably be relieved to be off the hook for her portion.

Egalitarianism in romance is for numales. Girls don't really want to be treated as "equals" (and attempts at it usually just come off as condescending, anyway): they want to be loved, taken care of, and made to feel special.

I just can't imagine being on a date with a girl and her paying for anything. That would just feel so wrong. Like, if a guy asks you out, it's just assumed he's going to pay for everything.

I agree, under normal circumstances.

I'm just saying there's narrow set of circumstances where I can see arranging to go dutch.

> if a guy asks you out, it's just assumed he's going to pay for everything.
Unless the contrary was expressly agreed upfront, I would agree.

A girl wants to be pursued, but not smothered. She wants to feel like you want and maybe even need her, but not that you think she needs you. It can be a fine line.

In short, all "rules" like this have to allow for exceptions.

What woman still does this? Most of the woman that I have gone out with offer to pay for somwthing? If i pay for tickets she get the snacks and vis versa.

You are not a man.

How's that working out for you?

Last time I went on a movie date was to that Beauty and the Beast live action flick, I paid for the tickets (theater is cheaper anyways at $7 a ticket) but we sneaked in our own snacks.

she blue balled me hard

Well I've never been on a date, but if I ever do go on one, I'm paying for everything.

>Last time I went on a movie date was to that Beauty and the Beast live action flick,

Yeah it sucked pretty bad, especially since she kept singing along with all the songs.

Sums up this thread really well, I think.

Yeah.

Me and my gf take turns. Like, I'll buy tickets and then she gets snacks. Granted, I am the man, and only really allow it because she wants to feel helpful, but I always handle the big things. I don't really allow her take up the big bills. I make a decent amount of money, so it doesn't really affect me. Basically, I cover main expenses, she covers extras and small things. She's also the type of girl that gets me gifts a lot, so she's pretty good at keeping up. You shouldn't be operating on a "get my money's worth" type of mindset though, but I can understand being wary about some stranger. You'll look like a Jew if you invite someone somewhere and THEN ask to go Dutch, so you should be upfront beforehand. That works with lots of stuff. Don't invite someone somewhere and then pressure them to pay, that's shitty. If they offer, sure, but don't go out so much if money is that much of an issue. Getting involved with a gf when you're in an unstable financial spot is asking for trouble.

Yeah embrace being a money slave for roasties dude. It's just right. Everything else just feels wrong.

If you asked her out you should pay. If it was a mutual thing you should still pay, but feel free to let her pay for something if she wants to (for instance, you buy movie tickets and she buys snacks).

If you're dating a roastie, you're doing it wrong. A gentleman pays for a lady on a date. That's because if you get married, you'll be the one who works hard to bring home the money, while she works hard raising your children at home. You need to show her that you'll be able to take care of her.