Canon facts about Elaine Benes

There was an entire episode about the fact that Elaine loves getting creampied. An entire plot arc involved Elaine attempting to get a form of birth control that would facilitate men cumming inside her. This was the only way she could legitimately enjoy sex.

She's a jewess.

her hair was so fucking ugly, even back when the show was on I hated it

Was she a kikerino in the show? I know she is in real life, but in the show I thought she was a goy.

Checked and keked
Agreed she looks much better now
Fucking 90s style choices were dreadful sometimes

She was Catholic in the show

Bullshit. Episode?

Think its the one with the sponge

...

The Sponge
OP is making an implication based on the plot, which makes sense

we all know she has sex with a sponge instead of a condom. with all this skin-skin contact, we can assume she has aids and herpes

lol

I feel like it fluctuated from sexy to wildly unattractive from episode to episode

I've had sex hundreds, possibly thousands of times unprotected and the worst I've had is chlamydia a couple of times.

Please be a girl

why

>have sex with 50 people
>not getting hiv

But there's a whole episode about how she's sexy because she's not a jew

So you can date me. Would you? I can fly anywhere to meet you

Whoa, whoa, hold up. A sponge? Does this actually work? I just... uh... want the episode to be believable.

It has spermicidal stuff on it

Elaine is the cutest woman ever to exist. I sometimes can't finish episodes because of how cute and small she is. She also cries or fake cries frequently in the show and I can't take it. I don't usually have waifus but she's my waifu 100%. Ughhh

I'm a straight guy, but I've fucked two guys before just to see what it was like. And by "fucked", I mean "been fucked by". Took these guys in the ass (for the record, I've only been buttfucked twice, and both times it was anonymous craigslist hookups, just to sate my own curiosity.)
Anyways, it feels pretty good. It hurts at first, of course, but once he's loosened you up a bit you can just sort of relax and enjoy taking the dick. Feels best when you're on your back getting pounded missionary. I'm not a faggot or anything, but it hit my prostate just perfect and made me squeal and wrap my legs around the guys who were doing the fucking. Came pretty close to a prostate orgasm, too.

Why can't they ever make legitimate loser characters? George had 62 girls (ranging from dates to girlfriends) interested in him over 9 years. That's one every 1.6 months. He's fat and bald and unattractive. On multiple occasions he exclaims something like "I can't imagine how I'll ever have sex again". Oh, really Georgie? You had 10 women this year and you can't imagine that? Is it true that as long as you're not autist you can get with women, even if you look like Costanza?

>There was an entire episode about the fact that Elaine loves getting creampied

episode synopsis please and everything she said regarding that.

I can vouch for this. at worst I have HPV (before the vaccine tfw) and herpes but ive never seen any. condoms are fucking gayyyyy lmao

George is the ultimate Chad

Were they black guys or white guys?

Statistically you have herpes, it probably just hasn't shown it's self yet. HIV also can take months before it shows up on an STD test.

Hispanic guys. I got SPIC'D twice, lad
I almost met up again with the second guy I got fucked by and his bf, they were going to spit roast me, but I pussied out. And now I have a qt 3.14 gf, so no more cock for me

>The Sponge
>plot is the contraceptive sponge Elaine uses is being discontinued
>she can't have sex without it, refuses other contraceptive methods
>gets a bulk order while they're still available
>talks about needing to now decide if a guy is "sponge-worthy" since she is now limited in how many guys she can let fuck her raw

When are you going to kill yourself?

Danny D is that you?

Yea. I got my ex to use the sponge and came inside of her. It was amazing, almost as intense as my first orgasm.

Haha, nice one kid! I like your moxie, I really do. You remind me of a younger me.
Back when I was just starting out on the boards, I would pull stunts like this all the time. Turn a meme on its ear. Try to be a "big guy" and impress the oldfags. It's completely normal.
But ya know what, kid? In time you'll come to learn that there's more to memery than simple tradition. There's great strength in it. Playing along with some OP's epic bait isn't something we do because we want to fit in. We do it because it weeds out the reddit fags and normies from the true memesmen of Sup Forums.
You stay around here long enough, kid, and you'll come to realize this. But for now, get out there, have some fun, and think about what I said.
And then read the first letter of each sentence of this post ;^)

That's some gay shit.

uh huh..

And that's your opinion my man. I respect it. But that doesn't mean I have to accept it. But that does mean you have to accept this dick. I'm bending you over my coffee table and pulling your pants down. I'm lubing up your asshole and throwing out some bantz now. I'm inserting myself fully inside your anus, shoving deep into your rectum. Thrusting back and forth, in and out, grunting and sweating while you're moaning and bucking. Pretty soon I'll blow my load deep into your colon and we'll share a passionate kiss as I continue to fuck you, churning my milky cum into a sticky white froth.

thanks, I came.

LALALALA I can't hear you!

She is literally canonically NOT a Jewess. There's an entire episode about this : S09E03 "The Serenity Now".

>I'm a straight guy
>Let another man fuck him in the ass
This is pasta right?

HIV really isn't that easy to transmit. If you're going around fucking black dudes bareback and letting them cum inside you, sure. But if you're the penetrator and don't fuck poor people, odds are actually in your favor.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus is not Jewish either.

Her paternal grandpa was from a Jewish family, so by Sup Forums logic she's a card carrying Jew.

You too could have women if your life revolved around them, like George's. Also if you weren't autistic and approached them, which he also does.

You guys are acting like it makes you gay, but it really doesn't. I've fucked more chicks than I have dudes. I mean, you can't really know whether or not you're gay unless you try it, so I did. Twice. Turns out I don't like kissing other dudes, or having my ass eaten. Turns out I do enjoy getting on my knees and sucking a perfectly plump cock, and bending over to let another dude pound my ass. But like I said, gf now, so I do the thrusting instead of the taking

This is pretty hot

Her mother is not a Jew.
She goes to a Protestant Christian church.
She has literally said "I am not a Jew" on multiple occasions.

She's not Jewish no matter what Sup Forums thinks.

She canonically got into a fist fight with a Korean War veteran. I think she kicked his ass too.

Nasty motherfucker

does she know her bf is a fucking fag?

I will kick your ass, the 90s frizz is hot as shizz.

Sorry pal, but the gay only goes one way, your brain keeps track of all the times you've been fucked. Condolences lad, you have a terminal case of the gays, but do not despair! There is a way to safeguard your self esteem from this soul crushing realization, bisexuality rationalization!

>These mental gymnastics
I know this is a joke post but it gave me a good laugh thanks

I always like to apply the reverse test: if a gay man fucked a woman, does that make him straight? No, he still likes men and taking cocks so he's gay. The same applies here. user Is obviously a bit closer to the gay side than a regular straight man, but he's still mostly straight.

Can you faggots please stop giving the faggot attention?

I'm just trying to tell you that you're arguing someone isn't a Jew on a website that firmly believes in the one-drop principle of Jewishness.

it doesn’t work that way

Sup Forums is not all of Sup Forums

Gayness is cumulative, it's like promiscuity; a pure girl turns into a slut if she has a lot of sex, but a slut doesn't turn virginal if she stops fucking guys for a few years.

She doesn't, because we don't talk about our sexual pasts. She has been playing with my asshole a bit lately (rubbing her finger on it) while blowing me, so who knows, maybe I'll get back to taking in the keister again soon
Haha, whatever lads

He's just a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale.

Idk why that concept is so hard for breeders to understand.

>he still likes men and taking cocks so he's gay
Did you not read my posts? I don't like men.

holy fucking shit

Lol. Sure, bub.

Straight is straight, no “mostly about it”. Once you engage in faggot shit you’re indefinitely on the gay spectrum. He may be incredibly close to the ‘not so gay’ end of it, but that’s the best he can hope for now and forever he remains on said spectrum.

Bro get that faggot shit out of here. I'm a 0, totally straight. Just a guy who has had sex with men in the past.

Are you that Brazzers porn director who posts on here?

Neither do gay men. They just like being fucked by men.

I don't really understand the issue here.

Who the fuck prefers sex with condoms?

Oh, so you're just shitposting.

Carry on then.

Reread my post, I was defending you, you illiterate faggot

>Turns out I do enjoy getting on my knees and sucking a perfectly plump cock, and bending over to let another dude pound my ass.
>But I'm not gay

He's bisexual

That's gay though.

>being this baited
the absolute state of this board

I was just in the Xena thread and now this. Anyone know the best site for milfs?

Didn't this bitch ever hear of the pill?

Jesus Christ, you cats don't get it. I'm probably the most heterosexual man in this conversation. How many of you are secure enough in your heterosexuality to voluntarily post pictures of your ass on the internet begging to be topped, and then go to a strange man's house at like 2 in the morning, meet him, look him in the eye, kiss him, take him in your mouth and ass, and then swallow his cum?
Think about that, then tell me I'm gay and your straight. Because from where I'm seated right now, on my prostate massager, rocking back and forth trying to achieve hands-free orgasm, you're the gay ones.

So you're either straight (0) or gay, then. Got it.

you tried to fly too close to the sun and ruined a good derail

*you're
My bad

That's so fucking stupid. Acting like gayness is like some sort of infection and treating it like it's some otherwordly force, more powerful than straightness. I don't get how you can accept that having 2 gay experiences and 100 straight ones somehow means you're gay? It simply defies logic. He tried gay shit. He liked the sensation of a thing in his ass but he literally DISLIKED MEN. On the other hand, he likes everything about women, including women themselves and not just their pussies. So he likes JUST THE FEELING of a thing in his ass but likes EVERYTHING ABOUT WOMEN. How is that gay?

Are you that Brazzers porn director who posts on here?

Quads wasted on this shit

Cool. Since i'm a comfortable gay man, I guess I can go fuck some women and not have to question my sexuality. Thanks for giving me perspective, user.

Yes, I'll stop replying to you right now.

Every line that isn't straight is curved and there's no third option.

I had to throw in a big finish at some point.
Pleasure memein' with you boys tonight.

Yeah haha you're totally not gay haha I mean come on lads taking a few dicks and enjoying it doesn't make you gay haha

I think it's easier to think romantically rather than sexually here. If you can and do fall in love with men then you're gay (or bi, if you also fall in love with girls). Sex is just pleasure. I'm not a autosexual or manosexual for jerking off. Girls aren't dildosexuals. So think in context of falling in love.

>gay men can't fuck women
Are you saying gay men can't fuck women?

Why no, I'm saying the opposite. Since it's all or nothing, I can remain confident in my homosexuality even if I fall in love and fuck a female.

you're gay. just accept it.

So you've only come inside of a woman once? Weird.

Bringing romance into this doesn't do your argument any favors. Your lubed hand is a vagina substitute and a dildo is an artificial dick. They're just aids to help your brain fantasize better.

WHAT WAS THE MOVE????

If he disliked men so bad, why didn’t he just ask a chick to strap-on his ass?

Sounds mighty gay to me, bruh.

have fun leading a double life with gay sex on the dl only to eventually ruin your marriage and her life. Fucking faggots.