ITT: You've been sent to Tatooine, one week before the events of the Phantom Menace...

ITT: You've been sent to Tatooine, one week before the events of the Phantom Menace. You know everything that's going to happen in the future, but you're just a normal guy, with no Force powers whatsoever, so you can't just walk up to Sheev's office and kill him. Qui-Gon Jinn, Padme, Obi-Wan and Jar Jar Binks will arrive on the planet in one week, what do you do to guarantee a happy ending for the galaxy?

tell obi-wan that jar jar binks is sith and explain to him to keep watch

History is replete with turning points. You must have faith that the universe will unfold as it should.

Intercept the Jedi and go "Yo, I'm a prophet of the Force or some shit, nigga." Prove it by telling them what happened on Naboo.
Become buddy buddy with Qui Gon and save the Galaxy

This is the only logical response. Even if jarjar isn’t a sith, hijinks will ensue.

>kill anakin and eat his corpse in the hope I'll keep the force creatures and become insanely powerful.
>If it works do everything as he did except for the highground shit, fuck that. I'll just slay that fool.
>Eventually become the most powerful fuck ever and assume reigns of empire.
>Do all sorts of fucked up shit and slaughter most of everything that moves except for a bunch of subjects who build temples and monuments in my honor
>If it doesn't work, wait until it's time for E IX and try the same with Mary Sue when she's an infant.

“Put the Queen’s handmaiden in a burkha and keep an eye on Sheev”

Rape Anakin's mom in front of him

Warn Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan about Maul, tell them not to become separated. Tell Qui-Gon what Anakin will become and how. Tell him that he must stay alive to train the boy. Then I tell them about Senator Palpatine and his true identity. Along with the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. I tell them about the Trade Federation and other powerful institutions being lead by Sidious to form the Confederacy. There's a clone army being built on Kamino by Sifo-Dyas but is secretly controlled by Palpatine and will turn on the Jedi and slaughter them.

Then I demand they let me fuck Padme.

Oh probably warn them about Count Dooku as well.

I would kill obi wan with my katana

Kill Anakin. Sheev would be nothing without him.

He'll just make another. Plus he still has a younger Dooku to work with.

send watto to the showers

>bet everything I have (including myself) on Anakin winning the podrace
>with the earnings, hire bounty hunters to exterminate any tusken raider villages anywhere around the Lars homestead
>travel to Coruscant with the rest of the money
>live a comfortable life in an apartment
>

>hire bounty hunters to exterminate any tusken raider villages anywhere around the Lars homestead
>Shmi is killed by Jawas instead

Tatooine is always looking for a way to kill you.

Fuck I wouldn't do shit. Sheev did nothing wrong.

Posion them. Or just throw sand really hard at their eyes.

I would introduce my self to Anakin as his father lel

But you'd be nearly 80 by the time she gets born!

Walk done streets of market place and see Anakins mom carrying some heavy basket. Knock into her shoulder so she drops them and help her pick it up. The just tell her.

Never let him go.

And walk away

Bet that a Clone War will begin in 10 years too

Same. But also demand that they train me to be a Jedi as well. Or at least give me a lightsaber.

>bet everything I have (including myself) on Anakin winning the podrace
>with the earnings, hire Twilek prostitutes to cater to my every need
>buy the loyalty of tusken raiders
>have Anni's mom brought before me, bound and gagged
>gag her some more
>turn her into ghost with ghost machine

>Get rich off of bets on things I know will happen
>Buy an estate on Coruscant
>Pay bounty hunters to protect me
>Sell information to the Jedi and find the Sith holocron from Rebels
>Give said holocron to Sheev to win his favor
>Do what I can to learn how to become a Force Ghost
>Have as many children as possible
>Clone myself too
>Sith are stopped, galaxy is saved
>use my ghost to possess my clones when I die
>make any Force sensitive kids infiltrate the Jedi order
>they end up taking over
>self fund my campaign
>Become Chancellor
>rule both the Republic and Jedi Order with an iron but fair fist

I only want padme to rape her.

I'd let everything play out as it does in the movie except I'd stalk Luke all his life and rape him once he comes of age.