Red Dwarf quotes

Favorite quote thread:

"It's my duty as a complete and utter bastard!"

"Save us, someone save us before I wet me keks!"

A white hole?

>I don't wanna die, there's so many things I've never done. I've never had a prawn vindaloo, I've never read...a book.

>Ketchup? On lobster?! Why I *explodes*

>Call it extreme if you like, but I propose we hit it hard and fast with a major, and I mean major, leaflet campaign

>"Step up to red alert!"
>"Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb."

>"Mutants out" "Chameleonic lifeforms? No way!" And if that's not enough I don't know what will be.

>Smeeeeeeeg Heeeeeead

>If you don't have emotions, you're no better than a Jellyfish....you're not better than a banker!

>His name's Rimmer, or Smeghead, or Dinosaur Breath or Molecule Mind.
>And on a special occasion when you wanna be like really mega polite to him.
>I mean really, really polite...
>In these exceptional circumstances you can call him... arsehole

Is season 3 and 4 the finest work from BBC?

ALPHA-BETTY-SPAGHETTI!?!

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5 and 6 are pretty good

>Why don't we go down to the ammunition stores, get the nuclear warheads and strap one to my head?! I'll nut the smegger to oblivion!

Great episode

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for me it's 1-6 and the first two books. after that it's missing something

>Who would allow this man, this joke of a man, this man who could not outwit a used tea bag, to be in a position where he might endanger the entire crew? Who? Only a yoghurt.

>Smeg you ,you smegging ,smeghead

google what is smeg
Erm ok then what did the BBC mean by this

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>what did the BBC mean by this
That they call eachother dick-cheese heads.

objection

I really like the books, fuck sake why couldn't Grant Naylor recombine.

Series 12 was really nice. Really nice of them they brought Holly at least for last episode. Kinda wish they did a proper ending though.

1 and 2 seasons would be best if they included Kryten. I just have to give it to 3,5 like this.

>tfw Lister and Cat will never return to Earth and start a farm on Fiji

Holly shouldn't have been senile at that point though, fucking cretins

I do like Kryten but I think having him on the show is the reason Holly disappeared as a character, there's very little for him to do when Kryten can explain everything.

>We are talking jape of the decade

>Do you find Wilma Flintstone attractive?

You get the David Ross Kryten in Series 2

....yeah....

>well I say we strap on the jet powered rocket pants and junior bird men the hell outta here

Yeah he's no Robert Llewellyn

This was just so nice of them. I can´t imagine what a joy they had to bring to a regular guy who watched Red Dwarf from the very first episode back in 80s.

>An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks:
>a) We don't have any jet-powered rocket pants. And,
>b), There's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial "Robbie Rocket Pants"

>"Why don't we drop the defensive shields?"
>"A superlative suggestion, sir. With just two minor flaws. One, we don't have any defensive shields. And two, we don't have any defensive shields. Now I realise that technically speaking that's only one flaw but I thought that it was such a big one that it was worth mentioning twice."
>"Good point, well made."

We want more seasons or end it there?

One more with a proper ending

>She'd never leave Fred, and we know it

>"You can't whack death on the head."
>"If he comes near me I'm gonna rip his nipples off."

>Two and one-half badgers please

What the fuck was his problem?

Rimmer>>>Holly>Lister>Kryten>>>Cat>>>>>>>>>>>>>.Kochanski

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>talkie toaster

>he's a waffle man

Threadly reminder to read the books

>Sup doods...
Other way around. There was some issue getting the actor back, so they wrote Kryten in as Captain Exposition.

>I
>AM
>A
>FISH

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>I feel like I'm having a baby!

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>...and I'm you from the double-future

>Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas.
Ace Rimmer... What a guy!

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Whoa, whoa, whoa! They're bringing someone out! They're tying him to the stake.... It's Winnie the Pooh! He's refusing the blindfold!

It's "kecks" la

>Do you want some toast?

>Heeeyy!! You monkeys eat off the floor? Ain't you got no style or sophistication?