I need you to lose 300 pounds in 2 days

I need you to lose 300 pounds in 2 days

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But it's fried!

>You need to lose weight
>Keep eating
They should legit just starve these fatties, it would probably work better than diet and exercise

>James K's episode is on right now

POP OFF JAMES

>need to 16 pounds to be not obese
>need to lose 50 pounds just to not be overweight
>look in mirror, am ugly as fuck
what do I do, guys? :'(

It's just water weight bro, chill out.

Go to the gym every day.

Don't have to work out, just show up.

>tfw boogie is getting skinnier by the day
>tfw no Boogie2988 My 300lb life episode ever

>Ok, we'll perform this life saving surgery for you, with our own resources. But we'll need you to put in just some effort for your benefit.


Wtf, what a fucking monster.

Joey'sworldtour is superior to that piece of shit.

...

MUH LEG

jabba the hut looking mother fucker

>that scene where the mom says to the daughter not to limit her father's food
>the daughter is on the verge of snapping but hides it because of tv crew but just mouthes the words fuck you

James is a piece of shit and his wife is just making it worse.

Gymfags were a mistake

S T R E A M W H E R E

James is what I imagine most Sup Forums users are like irl.

And I'm sure Reddit users are handsome gentleman like yourself?

I thought I was the only one watching this shit

Who /fit/ here

...

Drink only water

/ourblob/

lift weights at home
dumbbells are pretty cheap, start with 15 pounders and work your way up
and eat less you fat fuck

It doesnt

What in the fuck is that slime?

>you fat fuck

...

Depends on facial structure. If it's just weight and bad skin, you should be fine if you put in the effort.

pus from skin infections

I'm sure I look chubby in the pity fuck kind of way right now. But I am not sure still if girls really find me attractive, and I am having problems with acne right now deff makes me look quite worse. also I got ugly nose btw. Hopefully all this can clear up thnx

Either post pics so we can roast you or fuck off.

You can get a nose job if you're that desperate. Virtually all acne cases are curable, it's just a matter of how severe you're willing to let the medication be and how patient you are.

Anyone know where I can watch the Lupe episode? The youtube version's just unwatchable.

no thanks

This is why you're a retarded shitposter and that tiny Iranian midget is a doctor.

That Iranian midget probably sees the worst of humanity on a daily basis. I wonder how he keeps himself from snapping.

starving works, it's pure physics, but the goal is long-term weight loss. Nearly everyone who starves themselves into being thin treats it as a "one and done" thing and reverts back to old eating habits and becomes fat again. The reason professionals emphasize diet and exercise is because it involves making permanent lifestyle changes

When you're 500 lbs you also don't really need to "starve" yourself, just eat like a regular human being and the pounds will melt off.

He literally does nothing but tell them portion control, dietary suggestions, and exercise. If he could make a career from this anyone could but it's because he has those degrees and all that shit anyone pays his pajeet ass.

yes you could totally do his job based on clips filmed specifically for TV

He also does surgery.

>Ow! mah leg!'

Other than using a vacuum and the actual surgery for all that fat then anyone could do his job.

play.uktvnow.net:1935/live/tlc9.stream/playlist.m3u8?wmsAuthSign=c2VydmVyX3RpbWU9MTEvMzAvMjAxNyA0OjE5OjIxIEFNJmhhc2hfdmFsdWU9NmJpM2RqMCs0b2l5aXQvM1ZPVmpuZz09JnZhbGlkbWludXRlcz0yMA==

yep of course, there's no way reality TV might be misleading you

Losing weight is the easiest fucking thing. Fat people that cry about being fat should honestly be executed.

Six or seven figure salary from TLC, that's how.

I know right? Why wouldn't I be able to verbally abuse him to lose the weight? Hell I could save the government and them money by getting them to kill themselves.

>I could totally be a surgeon besides all the surgery!

Losing weight is a simple thing, but it is hard as fuck because you're not only fighting against one of your body's most basic instincts, but because the food we have is a lot more tasty than fucking potatoes and turnips your brain gets constant dopamine hits from eating and you quickly find that most of what you eat you eat for pleasure and when you take that away it feels shitty for quite awhile.

>wojak poster doesn't comprehend what they're reading

Like I said other than surgery anyone could tell fatties to just cut back

t. fatass

You sound like an asshole. How about you sudoku instead.
>t. Never been fat

you're right, that's why it's the surgery stuff that he actually gets paid for
are you really this stupid?

The skinny man will never understand how it feels to be fat and trying to lose weight.

We'll I'd say he had a loving wife at home but she left him and took all his shit which is why he's still practicing.
Yeah and that part where he cuts humans open and performs surgery on their bodies. But I'm sure you could learn that one on your own, no need for a fancy degree.

im not clicking that

not that guy, but i went through both of those phases and both have their own perks and cons

Not that user but weight loss is really easy because I weighed 210 then dropped to 125. Cut red meat, sugary drinks, and in general just diet.

t. fatass
eat a salad fatty
actually don't eat anything lol
>abloo abloo poor me I have absolutely no self-control but it's totally not my fault
fuck off
here's a tip, next time you feel like eating, don't. it's really that simple.

cut carbs and sugar. ez.

Maybe?
Anyone can read books

fuck you guys
...I fuckin hope I end up being good looking after all this.

you will

it's even easier than that user

just do Intermittent fasting with CICO and you're golden.

For faster results, make sure to count all carbs as 2x what their calorie labels say. Also more days with 0 carbs the faster the loss.

And for IF you don't even need to fast a whole day to get results. Just do CICO with a standard 8/16 (which essentially adds up to a small lunch + dinner every day) for a few months and you're good to start maintenance dieting

kek

your loss of witnessing fatkino

the most important thing is to never get discouraged
you won't see results overnight
just be patient and stick with it

i think I might be killing my kidneys but weight loss has been easy when eating tons of protein, just cut out most of your carbs. No you don't have to go full meme keto but it's a lot more satisfying to eat meat over carbs, it's also easier to retain and build muscle which bumps up your BMR slightly

This, it took me about a year and a half to lose it and I've kept it managed for 6 years now. Depending on your age maybe you won't have too much sagging skin. The after show of 600lb life with the skin removal itself is pretty interesting too but these people ruined their bodies.

I almost want to look for places where they sell really fat clothes and making tents and shit out of them.

"Just a taste, james," you say as he continues slurping down his gravy. "We both need our breakfast, correct?" Faintly nodding his approval, you get eye level with the yellowed crust flake on his toe. "An appetizer," you say. James eyes light up and he inquires, "where?" Ignoring him, you slide the tip of your tongue up the edge of the flake - a small piece breaks off and becomes soggy. Swallowing it, you tilt your head to the left and align your bottom teeth under the crust, moving slightly forward and shaving off the whole piece. "Mm," James grunts as the flake slides into your mouth, the oniony piece turning spongy. You swallow, but with an audible gulp - as large as it is, it didn't go down easy. "Now for the main course," you say wryly. James' beady eyes dart all over the room past his plate of gravy, looking for a fuller meal. Holding your nose up to the fold of his legs you take a deep smell all the way into your core. Cheese, mayonnaise and the smell of full rot enter your lungs. You gag, but you will not be denied your feast. Taking one of the leg pustules into your mouth, you bite down hard - thick, yellow pus shoots into your throat and strikes your uvula. With the taste of pure rot, your gag helps the half mouthful of disease get down your throat and into your stomach. This feels wonderful, as you haven't eaten in a full day. Finally you pull apart the crux of his legs to reveal half an inch of incredibly thick paste lining the folds. "Laygs" was yelped from the corpulent James, but you barely notice. Sliding a finger across the goop, you happily place your now heavier finger into your mouth and suckle the sour paste down. No longer can you help it and you go hog wild, drinking mouthfuls of what used to be skin and fat down your hungry throat. Stomach full and picking your teeth of bits of stringy flesh, you kiss James deeply through the remnants of sausage and gravy lining his lips. Falling asleep on his huge fatpad, stomach full, well, today was bliss.

the exercise bit is what's key for better looking skin, like doing lots of pull ups

Also that's part of why they recommend weight loss be slow - it being slow combined with exercise lets your skin adjust well. If you're 4-500 lbs there's lots of permanent damage you won't be recovering from, but you can mitigate the effects, and you're clothed almost 24/7 anyways. Yeah a girl might not like saggy skin but being skinny will be what puts her in your bedroom to be disappointed in the first place. Just make sure the lighting is soft or go from behind, you have more options than a fat->skinny woman does.

Can confirm, my diet consists of eggs, chicken breasts and avacados, sometimes on a friday i'll get 2 hamburgers from mcdonalds though because fuck it, went from 260 to around 200 atm, still overweight kinda.

this copypasta never fails to make me physically gag, author is a genius

POP OFF JAMES

wait a sec...is this guy still alive?

as far as I know as long as we drink lots of water, then our kidneys will be fine with the extra protein. It still causes inflammation, but honestly any diet that gets you to lose the weight is ultimately better than being obese. Worry about healthier choices once you're at a healthy weight.

Trying to do everything perfectly from the start is how people fail and then they say it's impossible to lose the weight

>I need you to lose 300 pounds in 2 days

I currently have diarrhea, at the current pace that I´m shitting my bowels I think I can hit the mark in the next 24h.

>just started watching this series from the beginning
>episode 3 is about a dude who weighs almost 700lbs
>get surgery, loses almost 500lbs gets all the way down to 200lbs and looks amazing compared to how he did look
>at the end of the episode he gains back over 200lbs and is now a 400lbs+ fatfuck again making the surgery pointless

What the hell is wrong with these people?

I genuinely don't understand how he is still alive. His body is literally rotting.

Implying my kidneys aren't fucked already, but yeah, used to drink soda everyday, fast food out the ass almost everyday, any change was a change for the better, dropping the soda was the best thing i've ever done.

It's ultimately a life style change, takes many months to see changes usually.

I literally hate fast food now because when I eat it something in it always makes me take a gigantic shit 30 minutes later. I do miss Dairy Queen though because those are the best burgers imo.

>now live in the reality where some days you don't even have to crap

feels more physically liberating than being able to run up stairs

youre fucking dumb mate

Almost all of these "people" are mentally ill and I know Sup Forums jokes about being fucked up but I doubt any of us are this bad.

Honestly i go like days without shitting on this diet, i eat the avacodos for fiber. not sure if i'm getting enough stil.

if you're that fat there's nothing else to do but go online or watch TV, and the internet offers some interactivity, Sup Forums probably has a surplus of the super obese

I never noticed his back fat is literally splitting open like he's molting

If any anons are this fat post screencaps or make a thread on /soc/.

>oh boo hoo im a fat fuck and you're being mean

Kill yourself you fat piece of shit. The only excuse someone has for being fat is if its a child with no self control and their parents literally only fed them junk food. Other than that there's literally no excuse for being fat.

How fat do you have to get before you will have ghastly loose skin in the event you ever lose the weight?

>tfw this guy has a girlfriend and you dont.

Anybody got the pic with one of the fat guys with a whole pizza his dad bought him and his dad asks for a slice and he says no you should have bought too. It’s got smug pepe on the fat guy.

>Honestly i go like days without shitting on this diet

New comer to the thread. I lost 100lbs and spent most of that time constipated. Up your water (even more) and increase healthy fats. Fiber will help but fat makes things smoother.

Don't end up like me with terrible hemorrhoids and anal fissures.

>you need to stop feeding him, it's killing him
>I want to but if I dont then he gets angry and yells at me
>so let him yell, what is he going to do? Get out of bed?

Absolute MADMAN!!!!

I eat tons of lentils and vegetables and still don’t shit for a week. Everybody I tell says muh fiber but I put it into a calculator I get like 70g of fiber per day.

Also in be4 doctor. I’m Canadian so the medical system is garbage. Doctor will just prescribe antidepressants again and run because they get paid per appointment.

...

You could get a 2/10 50 year old woman if you wanted user.

lel