Captain, there appears to be a malfunction in the holodeck

Captain, there appears to be a malfunction in the holodeck.

I'll send Reg down to take a look at it.

Excuse me sir, but Lieutenant Barclay passed away 2 years 7 months 6 days ago. Do you not remember? Perhaps you should report to sickbay.

computer, something something naked wesley and a pack of horny klingons

I am fine, Data, turn your emotion chip off.

What is the nature of the malfunction?

>Walk into holodeck
>See Troi being brutally gangfucked by 13 Captain Kirks that have been mutated to be half wolf
>20 Picards jerking off in a circle around the Kirks

Captain, holodeck appears to be functioning within the normal parameters. I see nothing wrong here.

Captain I recommend we go to yellow alert and ready photon torpedoes!

>It's a "Troi's degenerate fantasies" episode

>android ends up fucking the hottest bitch on board

Is he the sole best character of the show?

When did Data bang Dr. Pulaski?

pulaski is homosexual-tier

"Data, is anyone on the way to fix holodeck yet? I keep telling this man to lose 300lb but he go up 400lb within last minute. This is terrible thing."

>I have another idea. Perhaps your doctor can entertain me.
>What? What do you mean?
>Take off your uniform, doctor.
>Absolutely not. You- [Beverly's left hand slowly reaches for the zipper involuntarily] -what's happening?
>Take it off, doctor.
>[Her hand grabs the zipper and begins to unzip it] -Captain! I can't control it!
>[She pulls the zipper down below her breasts; they're clad in a plain beige bra. Further down, her stomach is now exposed; it's perfect; flat, slightly toned, and pale. Her skin looks smooth.]
>Jean-Luc, I can't stop it.
>Armus, that's enough! You've already caused us a great tragedy by killing our security chief. You don't need to humiliate our doctor with your devious games!
>Of course I don't have to, Picard, but it's what I desire, and as you've seen, there's really nothing you can do to stop me.
>[Armus teleports Geordi and Data back to the Enterprise; now only Picard and a disrobing Dr. Crusher remain with him.]
>Oh God... why is this happening? [She completely removes her uniform. Her underwear matches her bra.]
>Armus, stop! We'll give you whatever you want. Just stop manipulating Dr. Crusher!
>Your doctor is quite an attractive specimen, captain. [Beverly removes her bra and panties; her breasts are not particularly large, but full, perky, and shapely. Her nipples stick out with areolas about an inch and a half in diameter. Her vagina is a bit puffy and neat in appearance. Her hip to waist ratio is impressive.]
>Dance for us, doctor
>[Beverly's face is red with embarrassment. She begins a sort of interpretive dance, swaying her hips and seductively staring and gesturing at Picard]
>I must say, Jean-Luc, I never thought we would ever get this close.
>It's alright, Beverly [Picard's uniform is tight and revealing; he is brandishing a noticeable erection that creates a significant bulge
>Something tells me you're enjoying this a lot more than you'd care to admit, Jean-Luc.

...

...

>I apologize, Beverly. There are some things a man simply cannot control, even without an entity like Armus manipulating him. Any properly functioning heterosexual man would be in the same predicament.
>Closer, doctor
>[Beverly moves closer to Jean-Luc. She caresses his face and stares into his eyes. Picard may be the most aroused man to ever live. She comes in close and speaks softly, in that seductive way she is known to speak unintentionally from time to time. This time it isn't so unintentional]
>Jean-Luc...
>[Picard shudders. The sexual tension is palpable. His hand finds it's way to her butt. He squeezes; it's firm, with just a bit of softness to it. It is at this moment he realizes he is not being controlled by Armus.]
Not sure where to go from there

>yar
>even remotely attractive

>waterfall noises

Silence

to sleep, goodnight user

Yeah, I probably should get to bed.