Why didn't Voldemort put his horcrux in a golden snitch?

why didn't Voldemort put his horcrux in a golden snitch?

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Why didn't he just put it in a car and then just drive it into the bottom of the Mariana Trench?
Why didn't he just make the sun a horcrux?

>harry potter

I'm just here to wait for the pasta

That would tie too much of the book series together

Voldemort didn't place one of his Horcrux's in a golden snitch because Rowling knew it would have been far too exciting or clever for one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Cuz snitches get stitches nigga

I love how every Harry Potter thread starts with a plothole question, just goes to show how shitty the franchise is.

I want to make a custom T-shirt that says on the front:
>a-at least the books were good though

and then on the back says:
>"No!"

Yeah, that would be PRETTY EPIC! XD
And then the best part would be, no one would know what it's a reference to because it's a joke from YOUR SECRET CLUB! LOL!

Don't get mad at me because you hate yourself.
I am not responsible.

i never saw the Clifford book holy kek

lmao would purchase

Why didn't Voldemort put his horcrux in a deep space probe?

Who makes posts like this?

I'll take a "No!" shirt if you're selling

>makes a horcrux out of an atom of hydrogen
>use magic to propel atom into top of atmosphere
>hydrogen escapes out atmosphere into space
>problem solved
Nothing in Pottershit holds up. Like, don't they teach maths or anything related to chemistry and physics? Are the wizards functionally retarded? That's the only explanation for why they don't use magic to control individual atoms, or even photons. Think about it: magically controlling a photon of the xray spectrum would allow one to kill via radiation at the speed of light.

how DOES he do it lads?

groan

So what's the deal? Is it more than what it seems? The Clifford book I mean.

Because they are so fucking easy to catch.

only one way to find out

Because Mary Sue Potter can catch them no problem, despite needing glasses.

Why didn't volddemort turn a handful of sand into a horcrux and shoot it into space?

a logical answer would be that they need to be accessible, but i'm not sure if that's ever implied except maybe the Chamber of Secrets

Don't be autistic. The reason is because he didn't want to. That's just not who he is.

Why the fuck were time turners a thing?

Why the fuck weren't they used to save Harry's parents or reverse a lot of the shit that Voldemort fucked up? Seriously, the best use Rowling came up with for a device that can alter the time space continuum is allowing Hermoine to take more classes. And then she realized she wrote herself into a corner and dropped them from the plot completely until every time turner in the world reappeared in the same room in the Ministry of Magic and all got destroyed at the same time with 100% success, so they could stop being a plot device forever.

Dreadful.

Prisoner of azkaban is pretty dope though, so I don't really care

Because time is immutable in HP's universe. They couldn't save Harry's parents because they were sure to die, and who knows if going back might end up being the cause? Better to not mess with it for anything serious.

>who knows if going back might end up being the cause?
this doesn't change shit about them being dead from their perspective though

>shit happens
>"okay shit happened, can't change it, but next time I'll pay attention so I can go back and prevent it, so shit does not happen"
>go back to prevent shit
>your going back was what actually made shit happen this time
That's what I'm talking about. It's like that episode from The Twilight Zone where they go back to kill Hitler baby, then after they kill him the nany just gets another baby and calls him Adolf (the real Hitler in the first place). When things like that can happen it's better not to mess with time.

>ayn rand top tier
>tolkien shit tier

they let a child use it to take extra classes, dont give me this time is immutable shit

Because they were not trying to change anything that had already happened.

Why didn't Voldemort make Obama one of his Horcruxes?

He didn't want to get the Caos Emeralds involved.

...

>school continues while a fucking evil wizard terrorizes it every year

dumbest fucking story ever

I fucking hate whenever time travel comes into any work of fiction. Instantly ruined.

They're children's books, anondo

They really need the revenue.

It's a story about not giving in to fear. user. It's really not that complicated.

dude it was written by a hack

>Put horcrux in a Chinese guy

Heh good luck Potter

because some little shit was able to catch one in his first game

Why didn't Voldemort have that turban nigga just shoot Harry with a gun?

>he's a newfag

wizards are autistic and think muggle weapons are worthless

>Europe continues while terrorists invade the continent every year
dumbest fucking story ever

>your life continues while being run by an incompetent retard every year
dumbest fucking story ever

>leftist is triggered while proven wrong every second
Dumbest fucking retard ever

youtube.com/watch?v=VzawV4bwQMY

it's bait

the best is Albert Camus being top-tier

If anyone ever asks you if you've read "The Stranger by Albert Camus" just say no and walk away as quickly as possible

>invade

you mean get invited

Because J. K. Rowling is a stupid bitch with a stinky little cunt and asshole. She's filthy, her hygiene is atrocious (especially in her nethers), and she's an idiot. But please, by all means, continue reading books written by cunts. I'm sure you'll come across a really good one any day now.

It's a new variation on the original image.

Angry children.

This is what J. K. Rowling is good for. The only thing she's good for. And even so, I'd rather suckle J. K. Simmons's tits.

youtube.com/watch?v=4x_WUb68RQo
this is the only good thing to come out of the magical universe from that undeserving billionaire cunt's pathetic imagination

youtube.com/watch?v=THKngDe-5J8

youtube.com/watch?v=6hk2IbtyOzA

Then what's the fucking point of time turners?

My pussy smells like a DIRTY DIAPER

What's point got to do, got to do with it?

>falls into time travel gimmick
>mucks it up a bit
>uses closed-loop logic so it isn't so bad
>destroys the gimmick canonically
>somehow a bad thing

What's his endgame?

is your laughing gif supposed to indicate that rowling did a good job? because one of the times she fucked up "isn't so bad?"

>make the Earth itself a Horcrux

Congratulations, you're now practically invincible unless Potter is willing to commit genocide to defeat you.

being the best guy
in the world
making all those nerds mad. those nerds in line are all of you. whether it's boy wizards or capeshit or star wars or whatever the fuck, making a herd of stinky nerds so disappointed and angry is a wonderful thing to do. fuck all of you unless you're cool and subversive like me and my friend the spoiler.

It's a modern fairy tale for children. You read it for the narrative, not mechanics of a fictional universe about wizards. Turn your brain off.

Lol

Sauce

The typical reason given is Voldemort had a big ego and so needed all his horcruxes to relate to something historical so that he could draw some metaphor from it or something

Shits retarded

no it's not, it's totally great and awesome. women are just as good as men. better even. jew kunt rowling is a genius. omg dumbledore. wow. ginny weasley. holy shit luna lovegood.

i usually find Sup Forumss tastes pretty agreeable but i just can't get on the constant HP hate train

the films have really good production and the setting and characters are interesting. i don't understand why i'm supposed to hate it other than normies like it

You're just digging the hole deeper you silly fuck

I'm her husband.

>make a horcrux out of something historically meaningful to him
>doesn't launch it into space

Still not seeing how that's an explanation.

maybe a proximity limit?